tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3709676656091512712024-02-11T06:33:02.187-05:00In LOVE & War - World's Largest Love & Dating BlogA conservative and liberal team of Business consultants and journalists engage in spirited Blog discussion program weekly.
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It’s all about people, politics, relationships, life views, and a little romance.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.comBlogger236125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-4772877133329536782015-09-12T10:17:00.000-04:002015-09-12T10:17:23.850-04:00Should You Swipe Right on These Dating Apps?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcMIBbjaWumzuYi4mzRQZQh3gTLasTjVPYEtywV5dt9maygXj42-BMhyphenhyphend-pFzplKTgN_slNGY0zcf6hJLbMc5FSvxkqulrKEbDZUb4FtmspRgU2wor-P9WHh5xBOHsPTQAPCZ7sslfPOk/s1600/SWIPE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcMIBbjaWumzuYi4mzRQZQh3gTLasTjVPYEtywV5dt9maygXj42-BMhyphenhyphend-pFzplKTgN_slNGY0zcf6hJLbMc5FSvxkqulrKEbDZUb4FtmspRgU2wor-P9WHh5xBOHsPTQAPCZ7sslfPOk/s400/SWIPE.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Should You Swipe Right on These Dating Apps?</h1>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', sans-serif, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; font-weight: bold; text-transform: uppercase;">BY: </span><span itemprop="author" itemscope="" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-color: white; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', sans-serif, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; font-weight: bold; text-transform: uppercase;"><span itemprop="name" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;"><a href="http://www.theroot.com/authors.jouelzy.html" rel="author" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; color: black; text-decoration: none;">JOUELZY</a></span></span></div>
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Summer is coming to a close, and cuffing season is right around the corner. Although lives are hectic and the cooler climate means fewer people are venturing out of the house to socialize, the Internet is always here for us. Dating in 2015 has evolved beyond the “123” beeper messages of the ’90s and past the <a href="http://www.blackplanet.com/" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; color: #d85932; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">BlackPlanet</a> of the early 2000s. However, not all dating apps are created equal, so let’s take a look to determine which ones are worth the download.</div>
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<strong style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;">An App for Every City</strong></div>
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One thing that is overlooked in the discussion of the worthiness of dating apps is how they actually fare across regions. In the past three years, I have lived in New York City, Delaware, Washington, D.C., and Houston. I’ve used dating apps in all locations (plus on my international travels), whether just to meet people platonically so I can get acquainted with the town, out of boredom, for a free meal or for more intimately serious relationships.</div>
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In all cities, the potential for meeting people and for having your needs met, wherever they land on the relationship spectrum, is quite different. You can match with someone in New York City at 9 a.m., and it’s nothing to meet them for drinks at happy hour the same day. In Houston, <em style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;">not so much</em>. Whether you’re on a more serious site like <a href="https://www4.match.com/help/mobile?" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; color: #d85932; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Match.com</a> or the more hookup-tinged app <a href="https://www.gotinder.com/" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; color: #d85932; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Tinder</a>, the weirdness around meeting a person offline is very much there in Texas, as is the Southern approach to marriage and family. D.C. is political no matter where you look, though the more serious dating apps, like <a href="http://www.eharmony.com/mobile-dating-app/" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; color: #d85932; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">eHarmony</a>, might give you a more genuine crop of people actually looking for a relationship and not just a cuddle buddy who might elevate their network. </div>
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<strong style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;">Hookups on Tinder, Cuffing Season on OkCupid</strong></div>
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For more casual encounters, Tinder is definitely the top pick. There isn’t another dating app that matches the user experience and interface with the volume of selection that Tinder has. It mandates that you link your account through your Facebook page, making fake accounts and bots less likely and much easier to spot—though I’ve had a good laugh about the number of male Tinder accounts that are selling weave in Houston. (I guess hustle however you can.)</div>
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I have not seen Tinder’s diversity on any other app. The runner-up is <a href="https://www.okcupid.com/mobile" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; color: #d85932; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">OkCupid</a>, the original hookup dating site that now has a mobile app. OkCupid asks more questions to give you matches based on a broad set of interests. Whereas Tinder is pretty much pictures from Facebook or Instagram and a short bio, OkCupid will show you more up-front data about a person, from religion to racial preferences. I would say that OkCupid has an edge on Tinder for the possibility of sprouting a serious relationship, though it will still take work to weed through the connections.</div>
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<strong style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;">The Sad State of Dating Apps for Black People</strong></div>
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Shall we discuss the “urban” dating apps that are directly targeting African Americans?<a href="http://www.blackpeoplemeet.com/" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; color: #d85932; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">BlackPeopleMeet</a> has been a sad story since somewhere around 2007, no matter how many late-night ads it runs with that one fine brother you won’t ever meet on the site. Its dating app has been updated to take the Tinder approach, with the swipe right for yes. The selection of people leans toward the over-40 crowd. <a href="http://www.soulswipe.com/" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; color: #d85932; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">SoulSwipe</a> is a new dating app, launched in early 2015, that I downloaded and almost immediately deleted because I have no interest in dating 35-year-old broke rappers. Some dreams you just need to find a way out of, and so ... nope.</div>
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<strong style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;">With Older Dating Sites, You Join for Free but Pay to Play</strong></div>
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<a href="http://www.pof.com/inbox.aspx" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; color: #d85932; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Plenty of Fish</a>, Match.com and eHarmony have all been around for at least a decade, and they have plenty of tales of successful marriages on their books. Their dating apps follow the same mold as the websites, with a certain amount of free features that corner you into paying for a account that really allows you to engage with the connections you make. The idea is that someone more serious about establishing a relationship will invest in it, and so paid memberships help filter out the casual-hookup seekers.</div>
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In my own social circle, I have seen a few couples who have met and gotten married via Match and are flourishing with their budding families. For me, the people I found on Match were a bit too head-on with the “I’m looking to get married” questions, but that speaks more to where I’m at in life than to the quality of the people. eHarmony has an algorithm of questions it asks you to curate matches, and I simply do not have the attention span to fill out all of that info. But if you’re serious about love, the questionnaire might not be too daunting.</div>
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<strong style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;">Finding Love Among the Social Feeds</strong></div>
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Let’s not forget that social media is free for you to lurk and, if you’re bold enough, to get your e-holla on. Black Twitter is a thing because there are a lot of us actively on Twitter. Facebook is a lurker’s best friend, since, depending on the person’s privacy settings, you can get notifications any time he or she posts, click through pictures and, well, <em style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;">get your lurk on</em>. Just one day, though, move out of the lurker stage and send that friend request; you never know what could happen. As for Instagram, with the newly updated message feature, there is so much potential to make so many connections—especially as soon as you’ve noticed that a person has deleted a crop of pictures with a certain someone.</div>
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<i style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;">Jouelzy is a </i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/jouelzy" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; color: #d85932; text-decoration: none;"><i style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;">YouTube vlogger</i></a><i style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent;"> and writer, celebrating the diversity of women of color through her #SmartBrownGirl movement. Follow her on <a href="http://www.twitter.com/jouelzy" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; color: #d85932; text-decoration: none;">Twitter</a>.</i></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-30258331857640731232013-08-02T17:45:00.004-04:002013-08-02T17:45:58.968-04:00Speed dating: the Happy Meal of romance?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Speed dating: the Happy Meal of romance?</h1>
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In her latest missive from the world of 21st century courtship, Northern Lass meets 21 three-minute men</div>
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Speed dating is something that has never really held much appeal in the past. Maybe it’s down to a preconception of it being the Happy Meal equivalent of dating, or a gimmicky, grown-up mix of musical chairs and snap.</div>
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But, as mentioned in <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/the-northerner/2013/jul/26/online-dating-men-ignored-by-women" style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; color: #005689; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;">my last article</a>, internet dating wasn’t really having the desired outcome for my friend Dan. The frustration of being ignored after what seemed like another promising date had led us to take action and look at new ways of meeting people.</div>
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The Manchester based dating blogger <a href="http://cubicgarden.com/" style="background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; border-collapse: collapse; color: #005689; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;">Cubic Garden</a> had mentioned to me that he had more success meeting suitable dates speed dating than he had internet dating. So we figured it was worth putting any preconceptions to one side and giving it a go.</div>
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There are a couple of regular speed dating nights on in Manchester, each running nights in different venues on different days of the week. We needed to find a night where we both fitted into the same age bracket, which happened to be Elite Speed Dating, which runs on Saturdays at the Circle club.</div>
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The word “Elite” initially put me off – as did it being housed in a venue that wouldn’t normally let me in on a Saturday night. Favouring trainers and dancing rather than tottering and pouting when it comes to a night out, I dress accordingly and would possibly look like I’d just rolled out of the back of a Transit van rather than a salon in comparison to the regular crowd. I feared we were in for a night made up of consecutive three-minute periods speaking to those who consider themselves to fit the definition of “Elite”, thus creating a two-hour back-to-back soul-sapping twatathon.</div>
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When I mentioned I was going to my friend Alison, she told me about a lesbian speed-dating night her ex-girlfriend had put on a few years back. One lady showed up enquiring that if she paid her tenner could she then “go and get off with all the girls?” The same woman opened up her first three-minute date with the question: “What do you think of cannibalism?” I suppose this could be quite an important question if the person you were sat opposite is a staunch vegetarian, let’s face it, in that respect you are never going to see eye to eye.</div>
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On the way to the club, Dan was also growing increasingly conscious of what to ask when it came to opening questions. It was beginning to dawn on him that this was a night of intensive small talk. “Dunno,” I helpfully advised. “Pay them a compliment, then hopefully they will start asking questions?” We hadn’t thought this through ... Dan doesn’t like small talk and I’m nosey so would probably seem a bit interrogate-y. But we had arrived and there was no point backing out.</div>
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Walking in, to our relief, there was a real mix of people, and to our relief you got a free glass of champagne to calm any nerves. We sat down and registered. My old married name was on the list due to its being connected to my PayPal account. Dan misunderstood the significance of this and in a minor panic – thinking I’d failed to inform him we were on a covert operation – gave the completely false name of … Smith.</div>
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The instructions were simple. All the women sat at a table, and the men moved from table to table every time a whistle was blown. You got a sheet to make notes about each person, and had to tick yes or no regarding seeing them again.</div>
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In the hours that followed we both had 21 dates.</div>
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The most striking thing about the whole process was the sheer amount of bilge you can cover with someone you have never met before – in three minutes. It was spectacular. Discussions ranged from the size of my calculator buttons with a maths teacher, one man’s Made in Chelsea addiction, the brief history of someone’s ex-girlfriend, and my being challenged by a pharmacist to try to buy three packs of paracetamol next time I was in Tesco.</div>
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One guy spent the entire date looking around the room and over my shoulder as if expecting something to happen that absolutely didn’t involve me. Trying to engage him in conversation by asking him a series of questions about himself wasn’t working, and I was just starting to consider shouting “OI MATE – OVER HERE!” while manically waving just inches in front of his face – but I was thankfully saved by the whistle. Apparently he was “looking for someone specific”. I wasn’t her; we both ticked no. Wow, just three minutes to reach that conclusion; speed dating is efficient!</div>
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Each date ended with quickly writing a note on the person you have just dated and ticking “yes” or “no”. One guy refused to leave his seat until I ticked yes in front of him, so I did… then quickly scribbled it out as soon as he’d moved on.</div>
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By date 21 I was fully dated out. Luckily that date was Dan so we compared notes on how it had gone then I went to the bathroom and he went to the bar.</div>
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From inside the cubicle I could hear two girls discussing Dan and how nice they thought he was. Resisting the urge to be the source of mad squealings from behind the toilet door – “Yes – date Dan … both of you … he’s ace!” – I casually walked out and then ran off to the bar to tell him. Apparently a kind of friendship paradox had just occurred, as he too had stood next to a couple of blokes who were discussing how they would like to “give me one”. Aaaaawww ... this was turning out to be dead romantic!</div>
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I wondered if some of the guy’s sheets may be made up of notes that simply said “wouldn’t get it”, “maybe if drunk” and “would definitely GET IT!”</div>
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A couple of days later we both received an email to say if we had any matches. I had one, which considering I only ticked yes for two people was pretty good going. Another 10 had expressed an interest in meeting again or indeed “giving me one”, and Elite gives you the option of finding out who they are if you want to know. Dan hadn’t got any matches, but again had only ticked two yeses; however he had another six girls who had expressed an interest in meeting.</div>
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I asked Dan if he intended to contact any of the six girls; he didn’t. Between the dates and the email, he’d managed to hotfoot it back to his family in Ireland, meet someone at a match.com party over there, and was now smitten.</div>
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Speed dating was an absolute blast. It was far more fun than expected, definitely wasn’t a twatathon and not one person judged me on my anti-cannibalistic lifestyle. I definitely recommend it to anyone that wants a fun change to internet dating.</div>
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I looked at the details of my match on the email. I knew I wasn’t going to call him. While all this had been going on, I’d been on a couple more dates with the man I’d met on a dating site a few weeks previously.</div>
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I’d been honest with him about everything from the start, the Facebook stalking of him before we met to ensure he wasn’t a mass murderer, the writing of this column, the speed dating with someone I had met dating, and he didn’t seem fazed by any of it.</div>
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We had entered into that relationship grey area. Though there had been no discussion of us being an item, it just didn’t feel right to be contacting another person. Oh God, it was time for that cringeworthy conversation that in my limited experience neither side really wants to initiate in case the answer isn’t one you want to hear. “So … just what is going on with us?”</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-5935518807202834612013-07-30T22:00:00.000-04:002013-07-30T22:00:49.076-04:00Women may buy designer bags to protect their relationships<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><span style="color: #202022; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; letter-spacing: -0.85pt;"><span style="font-size: large;">Women may buy designer bags to
protect their relationships, study suggests</span><span style="font-size: 39.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><span style="background-color: white; border: 1pt none windowtext; color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, serif; padding: 0in;">By </span></i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #202022; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; text-transform: uppercase;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">MICHELLE
CASTILLO<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #202022; font-family: Georgia, serif;">Could
women's penchants for designer handbags and shoes actually be a signal for
other women to stay away from their significant other?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #202022; font-family: Georgia, serif;">A new study currently in press for the February 2014 issue of
the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://www.ejcr.org/" style="cursor: pointer; font-style: inherit; outline: none;"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #b12124; font-family: "inherit","serif"; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Journal of Consumer Research</span></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>suggests that women may use designer
goods to tell other females that their significant other is dedicated to them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #202022; font-family: Georgia, serif;">"It might seem irrational that each year Americans spend
over $250 billion on women's luxury products with an average woman acquiring
three new handbags a year, but conspicuous consumption is actually smart for
women who want to protect their relationship," study co-author Vladas
Griskevicius, an associate professor at the Carlson School of Management at the
University of Minnesota, said in a<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://www.csom.umn.edu/news/07/24/13/University-of-Minnesota-Research-Reveals-Luxury-Products%27-Role-in-Relationships" style="cursor: pointer; font-style: inherit; outline: none;"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #b12124; font-family: "inherit","serif"; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">press release</span></a>. "When
a woman is flaunting designer products, it says to other women 'back off my
man.'"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #202022; font-family: Georgia, serif;">To reach
that conclusion, researchers conducted five experiments with 649 women of
varying ages.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #202022; font-family: Georgia, serif;">First, the
women were given a scenario of seeing a woman at a party with her date. Then
they were asked what they thought about that woman's relationship solely based
on the quality of her belongings.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #202022; font-family: Georgia, serif;">The
researchers discovered that women were more likely to think that owners of
luxury items were in a devoted relationship, and they were less willing to
flirt with the owner's significant other. It didn't even matter to them who had
paid for the items: The subjects believed that no matter what, the man had
something to do with the luxury purchases.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #202022; font-family: Georgia, serif;">In another
experiment, researchers asked the subjects in relationships to picture that
another woman was flirting with their man, in order to make them jealous. Then,
in a seemingly unrelated task, the women were asked to draw a designer logo.
Women who were jealous drew logos twice as large compared to women who were
just asked to draw without being provoked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #202022; font-family: Georgia, serif;">"The
feeling that a relationship is being threatened by another woman automatically
triggers women to want to flash Gucci, Chanel, and Fendi to other women,"
research co-author Yajin Wang, a PhD student at the Carlson School of
Management, said in a press release. "A designer handbag or a pair of
expensive shoes seems to work like a shield, where wielding a Fendi handbag
successfully fends off romantic rivals."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #202022; font-family: Georgia, serif;">The
researchers saw the same behavior when they tried that experiment on single
women. To them, this suggested that unattached women may seek out designer
brands in order to prevent other women from taking advantage of them when they
are in a relationship. In a way, the luxury goods were a signal to stop women
from latching onto their future, prospective significant other. The authors
added that future research was needed to test this hypothesis.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #202022; font-family: Georgia, serif;">In one
other experiment, they gave participants $5 and told them that they could spend
as much as they wanted to buy $1 raffle tickets to win a $200 shopping spree at
eight different luxury brand stores including Nordstrom's, Tiffany and Coach.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #202022; font-family: Georgia, serif;">Then, they
tried to make some of the women jealous just like they had done in the previous
experiments. Women who felt their relationships were threatened were willing to
spend 32 percent more in order for a chance to win the shopping spree. They
were also shown to want more expensive handbags, cars, cell phones and shoes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #202022; font-family: Georgia, serif;">Previous research by Griskevicius showed that men bought more
expensive products in order to show of their wealth and attract mates. Using
this study, he believes women buy expensive products to show off to other
women, not in order to appeal to men. The author added to the<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://www.minnpost.com/second-opinion/2013/07/women-use-designer-goods-ward-rivals-suggests-u-m-study" style="cursor: pointer; font-style: inherit; outline: none;"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #b12124; font-family: "inherit","serif"; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Minneapolis Post</span></a><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>that this behavior happens on
subconscious level.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #202022; font-family: Georgia, serif;">"The
fact that most women's luxury products are aimed to impress other women helps
explain why men have a hard time figuring out if a woman's handbag costs $50 or
$5,000," Griskevicius explained. "Women's designer products are
geared to show off to other women not men."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #202022; font-family: Georgia, serif;">He added
that women who don't have the desire to flaunt expensive goods may not have as
many fears about losing their significant other.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #202022; font-family: Georgia, serif;">"For
women in relationships who are not displaying these fancy handbags and showing
off, it suggests that they are more secure in their relationship, that they
feel less threatened," Griskeviciu said to the Minneapolis Post.<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-19238520288043888072013-07-24T09:31:00.001-04:002013-07-24T09:31:16.009-04:00Bad credit: A deal breaker for many singles<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Bad credit: A deal breaker for many singles</h1>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">By Blake Ellis</span></div>
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<i>First comes love ... then comes a credit check.</i></h2>
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For many singles, bad credit can be a deal breaker when it comes to finding love. About 30% of women and 20% of men say they won't marry a person with a low credit score, according to a new survey from FreeCreditScore.com that polled 1,000 adults.</div>
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Most respondents also said money management skills are just as important as looks when deciding whether someone is worth pursuing.</div>
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This is especially true for women, with nearly all female respondents ranking financial responsibility and financial compatibility as more important or just as important as career ambition, physical attraction and sex and intimacy, the survey found.</div>
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Male respondents said financial savvy is just as important as physical attraction, slightly less important than sex and intimacy and much more important than career ambition.</div>
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While 57% of men say that credit scores play into their dating decisions, a staggering 75% of women said they consider the numerical rating. Credit scores are calculated based on your payment history, amount owed, the types of credit you have and the number of years that credit has been available to you.</div>
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Linda Basloe, a 57-year-old from Herkimer, N.Y., with excellent credit, said she won't even give a man her digits until she knows his credit score.</div>
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"I definitely consider bad credit a deal breaker," she said. "I wouldn't even consider someone in that situation -- the joke about me has always been 'to please fill out a credit application and I will consider [you].'"</div>
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Why such concern over this magic number? Respondents said they worry that a partner with bad credit could hurt their prospects for qualifying for home loans, auto loans or lower interest rates and they'd be irresponsible about handling joint finances.</div>
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Basloe said she has worked hard to achieve financial independence and doesn't want a relationship with someone financially irresponsible to ruin that.</div>
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<img alt="credit scores dating" height="236" src="http://i2.cdn.turner.com/money/dam/assets/130723081719-credit-scores-dating-620xa.jpg" width="400" /></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><b>20% of men and 30% of women say they won't marry someone with a poor credit score, a new survey finds.</b></span></div>
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"I wouldn't attach myself to someone who would bring me down -- mortgage-wise, or when it comes to buying a larger house or even [qualifying for] insurance rates -- it affects every aspect of your life," she said. "It doesn't matter how beautiful they are, that's not going to pay the mortgage."</div>
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"I wouldn't attach myself to someone who would bring me down -- mortgage-wise, or when it comes to buying a larger house or even [qualifying for] insurance rates -- it affects every aspect of your life," she said. "It doesn't matter how beautiful they are, that's not going to pay the mortgage."</div>
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But no matter how important it may be, it can be an awkward topic to broach. Roughly half of the survey respondents have talked about their credit score with a romantic interest, with 39% discussing it during the first year of a relationship, 21% bringing it up before committing to a relationship and 19% comparing scores before moving in together. A mere 1% discussed their scores on a first date.</div>
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Basloe doesn't ask someone for their credit score before dating them because she thinks they could easily lie, but she does look for red flags. She scans the local newspaper for people who owe back taxes, pays attention to what kind of car a man drives and whether he has purchased a home or is still renting.</div>
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Jerry Koller, a 50-year old from Irvine, Calif., said he put a halt to a budding romance a couple of years ago after seeing stacks of unopened bills and rent notices in his date's kitchen.<strong style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></strong></div>
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"I went to dinner and casually asked her about her credit and she told me she couldn't buy a car recently as her scores were no good," he said. "[I] made it a last date."</div>
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To cater to the credit-obsessed, there are even dating sites where you can find someone in your score range. At Creditscoredating.com, credit scores are factored into the matchmaking process, pairing you with users who have similar scores. Since scores are self-reported, however, it's hard to tell if someone is telling the truth.</div>
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According to the site's scoring guide:</div>
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"800-850 is 'MARRIAGE POTENTIAL DING DING DING' 750-800 is 'take him/her home to Mom' 700-750 is a 'fixer-upper' 650-700 is 'fun for a night out, maybe, but bring cash' 600-650 is 'keep lookin'!'; anything below 500 is 'RUN because they won't even get a car loan, probably, and how embarrassing will that be at the PTA meetings?' 200 is 'this person is just pulling your leg and is really royalty.'"</div>
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Similarly, Texas matchmaker Melanie Matcek said she runs background checks on clients before helping them find love. While she doesn't pull their credit scores, she says she can get a clear picture of their financial situations and find out if they've ever been in legal trouble that would have impacted their credit.</div>
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"If they are unstable financially, they are weeded out," she said. "I've run across many singles that are looking for someone to 'rescue' them. This is a recipe for disaster. Everyone must be able to stand on their own two feet first." <a href="http://money.cnn.com/2013/07/24/pf/credit-score-dating/index.html?source=cnn_bin#TOP" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; color: #004276; font-weight: bold; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="To top of page" border="0" height="7" src="http://i.cdn.turner.com/money/images/bug.gif" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" width="7" /></a></div>
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Do you only date people with perfect credit? E-mail <a href="mailto:blake.ellis@turner.com" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; color: #1f69ae; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">blake.ellis@turner.com</a> to share your story.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-61899729788663507612013-07-18T21:25:00.002-04:002013-07-18T21:25:30.728-04:00Cellphones and texting have blown up the dating culture<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>Drew Johnson has learned that when it comes to asking a woman out, texting beats calling every time.</i></div>
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"Most of the girls I've hung out with lately prefer a group activity rather than one-on-one," says Johnson, 30, a mechanical engineer from West Chicago, Ill., who plays bass in a band. "From my observations, the response rate on, 'Do you want to go for dinner or meet for a drink?' is very low compared to 'I'm here with a group of people. Show up if you want to,' " he says.</div>
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Casual, easy and non-threatening — the simple beauty of text messaging is upending American dating culture. Not since the dawn of the automobile has a technology — the cellphone — so swiftly and radically changed the way people interact, meet and move forward (or not) in a relationship. Texting has created a new brand of mobile etiquette, and for dating, it has given rise to new ways of flirting and even defining exactly what's going on between two people.</div>
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A new survey of 1,500 daters provided to USA TODAY reveals how deeply mobile technology has rocked the dating world. The daters, ages 21 to 50, give even greater insight into mobile behaviors and a new range of dating questions: Do you check your phone during a date? How soon must you reply to a text? Should a friend call or text you to see how the date is going? Hearing someone's voice on the phone is still a key element for a relationship, yet people are increasingly more likely to rely on the relative "safety" of a text for initial contacts as well as keeping in touch as a relationship develops.</div>
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Although the survey was commissioned by two niche dating websites — ChristianMingle.com and JDate.com — their members did not participate. Rather, an independent research firm conducted the survey in May. The data illustrate just how much mobile technology has altered dating behavior, communication and expectations for romance.</div>
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Among the findings:</div>
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•Approximately one-third of men (31%) and women (33%) agree it's less intimidating to ask for a date via text vs. a phone call.</div>
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•One in four say an hour is the longest acceptable response time to a text to someone you are dating or interested in dating; one in 10 expect a response instantly or within a few minutes.</div>
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•More men (44%) than women (37%) say mobile devices make it easier to flirt and get acquainted.</div>
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"Texting is kind of an ongoing conversation. It does make it easier to flirt. Maybe you're talking every day," says Alex Pulda, 27, who works in product research in San Francisco. "It's not like text conveys a ton of emotion, but you are getting a little more comfortable with each other."</div>
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<span style="font-weight: 700;">A SAFER WAY TO FLIRT</span></div>
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Clinical psychologist Beverly Palmer, a professor at California State University-Dominguez Hills, has researched flirting and non-verbal behavior. She says that because text doesn't afford the level of intimacy that voice does, relationships can be ended much quicker.</div>
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Palmer says men traditionally make the first move and women respond, which she says is "very difficult" for men. "In texting, a man can pull back quickly if he gets rejected, and it's easier to say 'no' to the guy because you're not having to confront the guy."</div>
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Men and women are adjusting to this new reality of dating in a mobile-dependent society. According to a report released this year by Nielsen based on actual phone bills of mobile contract subscribers, about 764 text messages per person were sent/received each month in the USA in 2012, compared with about 165 mobile calls per month.</div>
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The rise of text in the world of dating is another indication of how much has changed in the way relationships develop. Young adults are used to being overscheduled and multitasking. They've grown up with group activities and are more comfortable in packs. Experts say it should be no surprise they're treating their romantic relationships in much the same way — not wanting to invest too much time or effort in case they don't click.</div>
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Texting vs. talking keeps it casual. First dates are largely a chemistry check anyway, and to many young adults, the one-on-one time spent on an actual date feels too much like a commitment.</div>
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"If you're sitting down for a dinner date, that's putting way too much time out there for a first date. You don't know how it's going to go," says Adam Diamond, 29, a movie trailer editor in Los Angeles<span style="font-weight: 700;">.</span></div>
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Preschool teacher Rachel Goetz of Manhattan likes the flexibility a drink allows for both parties.</div>
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"It can also work for the woman. If I'm not interested, then I don't feel bad that the gentleman spent a lot of money on a dinner," says Goetz, 34. "People are too worried that they're not going to like the person they're meeting, and the drink is an easy hour if it doesn't work out."</div>
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<span style="font-weight: 700;">HIDING BEHIND TECHNOLOGY</span></div>
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Being time-efficient means text blasts for dates, says Ruthie Dean, 28, of Nashville, co-author of <i>Real Men Don't Text</i>, being published in September.</div>
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"Guys are using text messages to send the same message to multiple women. 'Hey, do you want to hang out tonight.' They're kind of fishing for a response," she says.</div>
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Dean, a Millennial who writes about her generation — generally born 1982 to 2000 — says, "We really see this generation as having a huge handicap in communication. We have our heads down in our smartphones a lot. We don't know how to express our emotions, and we tend to hide behind technology, computers and social media.</div>
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"People are uncomfortable using the phone. A text message is easier. You can think exactly what you want to say and how to craft it. When they are face-to-face or over the phone, there's this awkwardness," she says.</div>
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Pulda says he texts for everything, including dates.</div>
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"I don't love phone calls," he says. "They have all the downsides and don't have the benefit of face-to-face communication. It's kind of this in-between. And part of it is, it's a lot more work than a text."</div>
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Millennials' love of texting is rubbing off on other generations, suggests Naomi Baron, a linguistics professor at American University in Washington who studies electronically mediated communication.</div>
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She says telephone calls are often thought of as an intrusion, while texting affords a way of "controlling the volume," a term she uses to describe the sense of control that text gives users that they can't get with a voice conversation.</div>
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"We tell ourselves we don't want to disturb someone. Sometimes it's true, but more often, it's because we can't get them off the phone," she says.</div>
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In texting, "we don't have to talk to people or listen to what another person has to say. We decide how we want to encounter or whether we want to encounter other people. Technology gives us tools for controlling our relationships."</div>
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Baron co-authored research, published last year in the journal <i>Language Sciences</i>, which studied mobile phone use in five nations, including the USA.</div>
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Among the study's findings: "More women than men reported choosing to text rather than talk because 'talking takes too long.' In the focus groups, students in several countries noted how easy it is to become embroiled in a lengthy voice call. With texting, senders manage the interaction, circumventing potential obligation to hear the other person out."</div>
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Johnson knows that firsthand.</div>
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"Often if I call, I get a text back saying, 'What's up?' I find that people not only prefer texting but have no problem making it blatantly clear that they only want to handle the conversation by text," he says.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-86678713952321430572011-08-22T11:42:00.000-04:002011-08-22T11:42:02.427-04:008 Books That Could Save a Marriage<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWJKcLkE2Ge1MTVqBOqZkarmKwgNQb3iNU7ukRihIvVF_yvIpBs55989BIaGTTkSvpi4_cQq2fcCUgU38ycywT6Kdey8dsH6GfkRXT9UzolfUQckWEKdX92AdsMyqec0dtMy0EWwQGdfM/s1600/love+war+blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWJKcLkE2Ge1MTVqBOqZkarmKwgNQb3iNU7ukRihIvVF_yvIpBs55989BIaGTTkSvpi4_cQq2fcCUgU38ycywT6Kdey8dsH6GfkRXT9UzolfUQckWEKdX92AdsMyqec0dtMy0EWwQGdfM/s320/love+war+blog.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">These 8 Books Could Save Your Marriage</span></b></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Iris Krasnow</span><br />
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What does it take to stay married to one person, under one roof, for the rest of your life?<br />
<br />
I was so interested in that question that I wrote a book attempting to answer it. Over the course of my research, I interviewed 200 women who had been married 15 years or more -- sometimes many, many more -- about how they sustain their relationship. Though these wives came from diverse backgrounds and described themselves in varying stages of marital joy or distress, the strategies they shared for going the matrimonial distance were strikingly similar:<br />
<br />
-Have close women friends and men friends with whom to vent (and drink).<br />
-Have a strong sense of self beyond your marriage. Longterm bliss is possible if each partner is blissful apart from the other.<br />
<br />
Through their raw, real reflections, the women I spoke to helped me better navigate my own 23-year-old marriage, and I'm proud of the book that emerged from my interviews with them, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Secret-Lives-Wives-Really-Married/dp/1592406807/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1313841058&sr=1-1">'The Secret Lives Of Wives.'</a><br />
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But I also appreciate what good company the book joins. I am continually inspired by the works of other authors who attempt to unravel the mystery of what love really is, and how to make it last.<br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here are 8 books that have changed how we talk about marriage -- and could very likely change yours for the better:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img height="290" src="http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/109349/slide_109349_333996_large.jpg?1314027554007" width="400" /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;">By Stephanie Coontz<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Coontz exposes the 1950s happy-housewife and the bygone traditional values we revere as illusory nostalgia. With astonishing research and sharp insights, she parts the curtain on the inequities that restrained the moms of the Boomers, revealing a picture that bears very little resemblance to the Ozzie and Harriet idyll. <br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Takeaway:</strong> We are lucky to live in a time when the most successful marriages are those where the spouses are equals.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><img height="290" src="http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/109349/slide_109349_333997_large.jpg?1314027618395" width="400" /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;">By Thomas Patrick Malone, M.D. and Patrick Thomas Malone, M.D. <br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />A father and son team of therapists has written a beautiful book on how to craft intimate relationships and surrender to the vulnerability that comes with love. Using case studies, the Malones take readers through the triumphs and fears that come with opening oneself fully to another. <br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Takeaway:</strong> Intimacy takes hard work and artful attention to achieve.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><img height="290" src="http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/109349/slide_109349_333998_large.jpg?1314027635613" width="400" /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;">By Diane Ackerman<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />What does it mean to love? We come to understand the answer to this elusive question as Ackerman walks us through history, starting in ancient times. Though she writes that "love is the great intangible" we realize that the heart of love, from "wolflike" passion to "the thick tangle of feelings" that it inevitably involves, is unchanged through the ages. <br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Takeaway: </strong>To know true love is what every human lives for.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><img height="290" src="http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/109349/slide_109349_333999_large.jpg?1314027652837" width="400" /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;">By Erich Fromm<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />The best part of this iconic book is that it stresses the importance to know-ing oneself in order to create an enduring love partnership. As Fromm writes, "If a person has not reached the level where he has a sense of identity ... he tends to idolize the loved person. In this process he loses himself in the loved one instead of finding himself." <br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Takeaway: </strong>Mastering the art of loving requires that you first love yourself.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><img height="290" src="http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/109349/slide_109349_334000_large.jpg?1314027681578" width="400" /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;">By Helen Fisher<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Fisher, an anthropologist, answers centuries-old questions like why we love, why we stay and why we stray from a view that is biological, cultural and bracing. We learn that the infatuation stage of love, which we hope will last forever, is chemically impossible to sustain, and that the attachment stage that follows may not be as sexy, but that it's the real thing. <br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Takeaway: </strong>Hot passion comes and goes; comfortable love lasts.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><img height="290" src="http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/109349/slide_109349_334001_large.jpg?1314027697612" width="400" /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;">By Erica Jong<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />I was twenty when Erica Jong's steamer was flying through our college dorm, transfixing us with her erotic and breathtaking "zipless" adventures. The women's movement was surging, and so were our hormones as Jong wrote of being "possessed" by free love, taking many of us along with her on her wild ride. <br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Takeaway:</strong> Remembering the confusion and heartbreak of the zipless revolution will make you newly appreciative of your trustworthy, aging marriage.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><img height="290" src="http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/109349/slide_109349_334002_large.jpg?1314027714076" width="400" /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;">By Dr. Connell Cowan and Gail Parent<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />This book enlarges Chinese philosopher Sun Tzu's wisdom on mastering the art of war to mastering the art of winning at love. The authors give readers spiritual ammunition to achieve victory, not through brute force, but with intelligence and emotional fortitude. <br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Takeaway:</strong> Love, like war, takes patience, stealth and tenacity.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><img height="290" src="http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/109349/slide_109349_334003_large.jpg?1314027732638" width="400" /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;">Edited by Richard Whelan<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />This distillation of sixteen of Emerson's principal essays on the power of individualism show us what it takes not only to succeed in relationships, but also to succeed in life. On every page, Emerson, who wrote these pieces in the mid 1800s, reminds us of the timeless importance of humility, integrity and most of all self-reliance. <br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Takeaway:</strong> Be true to yourself, and the relationships you form will be true to you.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px;"><br />
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</span></div></div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-26230408600287673712011-08-15T10:59:00.000-04:002011-08-15T10:59:40.767-04:00Tips to Avoid Trouble in a Divorce<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhia91UmejEDKZ39Gi7VfrEH3MZ-vKSZ87dI4n6LeRE8neQNa2wzrwwCTUTmVlfmssVJZqLx7nKkDRIMeOaDul0vjCV9enwnQANZ0S8AxxH8yfZ0xts3R0Ab_-7HAVYOwBeJfunAgivnrc/s1600/divorce+advice.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhia91UmejEDKZ39Gi7VfrEH3MZ-vKSZ87dI4n6LeRE8neQNa2wzrwwCTUTmVlfmssVJZqLx7nKkDRIMeOaDul0vjCV9enwnQANZ0S8AxxH8yfZ0xts3R0Ab_-7HAVYOwBeJfunAgivnrc/s320/divorce+advice.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Tips to Avoid Trouble in a Divorce</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">By Diana Mercer</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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<div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So here's the inside scoop. I've been a divorce attorney for 23 years and as a result, every single one of my friends (both actual friends, and Facebook friends) ask me for my advice when they're facing a divorce.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I have friends who are getting divorced, and they ask me for advice, here's what I tell them. The real deal, the confidential, back-channel skinny. Beyond legal advice, which they can get anywhere.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These are my top tips for staying out of trouble:</span></strong></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Ignore Legal Smack Talk from Your Spouse: </strong>I love that spouses try and give each other legal advice. Really? Since when did your spouse go to law school and become a divorce lawyer? And you're listening? Heck, even if they're dishing out good advice, it pays to double check.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Question "My Friend Said":</strong> If your spouse talks about friends' divorces or what the lawyer plans on doing to you legally, ask:</span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">• How many years did that friend's divorce take? <br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />• How much did it cost?<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />• How much did your lawyer say that taking me to the cleaners would <a href="http://www.peace-talks.com/compare.php" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #337c8c; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">cost in legal fees</a>? <br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />• Is your lawyer willing to put it in writing that they guaranteed that their result will be better than what I'm prepared to offer voluntarily?</span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You're safe with that last one---no lawyer would guarantee anything or put fees in writing so this will force your spouse to have an honest discussion with the lawyer about the pros and cons of pursuing any given action.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Watch Out For Non-Monetary Games:</strong> Keep an eye out for your spouse manipulating the kids. Make sure your bond with them remains strong. Don't bad-mouth your spouse---your kids will figure that out later and hate you, so keep the long term in mind.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your spouse may think he or she is plotting and being strategic like some sort of Divorce 007. But at the end of the day, it's a business deal and a parenting plan. It is what it is. So don't let your imagination run away with you.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You can keep costs (and suspicion, and plotting) down by:</span></strong></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">1. Being organized.</strong> Make a notebook with labeled dividers with all of the financial records (recent ones, at least) and tax returns (as many as you have copies of), a comparative market analysis (free from any realtor) of the value of your house, your most recent pay stub...and ideally you'll make your spouse a notebook, too.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know that might sound crazy (making your adversary a notebook) but your spouse's attorney will charge for making a notebook and getting the records together (which could run up the bill by several thousand dollars) so if you can take the wind out of those sails from the get go (your spouse is entitled to all that info pursuant to law anyway) and all of the mystery out of your financial situation, you're ahead of the game.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don't get paralyzed by your emotions. It's easy to sit down with a hole punch and a notebook and put stuff in by date. You don't need all your faculties to do that, so it's a good activity for when you're feeling lost.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">2. Staying Sane.</strong> Make appointments with your therapist, make time for your kids (and don't talk about your spouse), play golf or ride bikes (ideally with your kids), make time with friends. Take care of yourself. Eat right and work out.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">3. Don't taking the bait: </strong>Your spouse will say stuff to you just to get you riled up. Ignore it. "Obviously, this is a hot topic for both of us, so I'm not going to respond at this point. I do hope we can work all of this out, though, at some point." Then change the subject. Say that as many times as you have to.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Eventually, your spouse will get bored when it's clear you aren't going to fight back. This will freak your spouse out a little, particularly at first, so feel free to chuckle. When you start to behave differently than you have over the last eleventy-million years they're going to wonder what's up and watching that might be a little amusing as the old tricks don't work on you anymore.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">4. Find that Special Someone--Quietly:</strong> If you decide you want to date or get laid, don't let anyone find out about it. Not under any circumstances. Your spouse will go bananas if you're with someone else, so avoid that at all costs. It doesn't matter if it's your spouse who suggested the divorce or found a new lover first. They still go nuts when they see you've moved on, too. I'm not saying don't do it. I'm saying don't let anyone find out.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 13px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><i><a href="http://www.peace-talks.com/diana.php" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #337c8c; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">Diana Mercer</a> is the co-author of <a href="http://www.makingdivorcework.com/" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #337c8c; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">Making Divorce Work</a>: 8 Essential Keys to Resolving Conflict and Rebuilding Your Life (Perigee 2010). Join the conversation and community on our <a href="http://makingdivorceworkblog.com/" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #337c8c; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">video blog </a>and check out Diana's divorce blog on the <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/diana-mercer" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #337c8c; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">Huffington Post</a></i></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 13px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;"><b>Factor to Consider During a Split: Education Pays</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">By Natalie Pace</span></span><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;"><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Include this life line in your divorce settlement.</div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">On June 29-30, 2011, President Bill Clinton brought together over 750 CEOs, NGOs, Nobel Prize winners and young entrepreneurs to figure out how to put America back to work. Why? There are three million jobs that are unfilled today. Filling those existing positions would go a long way to putting America back to work. So what's the hold-up? The biggest reason for so many unfilled jobs is that too many unemployed Americans lack the skills and education needed to fill the available positions. Which is why setting up a college fund (not just the "promise to save" but an actual fund) for the kids is gold in your divorce settlement--as much as custody and alimony.</div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Today, Americans without an education are seven times more likely to be without a job. There is 15% unemployment among Americans without a high school diploma. Meanwhile, almost everyone with a doctorate is working -- with only 1.9% unemployment among PhDs. As you can see in the graph below, education pays in dollars, too. PhDs earn almost four times as much as someone without a high school diploma.</div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><img alt="2011-08-05-EDUBLS.JPG" height="200" src="http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2011-08-05-EDUBLS.JPG" width="400" /></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">While not all jobs require a degree, new jobs quite often require acquiring new skills. Of the 3 million jobs that remain unfilled at this time, lower-skilled work, like construction and manufacturing, remain the weakest areas of the American labor market.</div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">There are some initiatives that are helping to solve the skills and education gap. Georgia Works allows employers to recruit, train and then hire staff. As Michael L. Thurman, Georgia's former labor commissioner, explains, with this initiative, the employer gets to "audition" the employee. The <a href="http://www.bamasf.com/" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #337c8c; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">Bay Area Medical Academy</a> takes welfare recipients and others on the fringe of society and teaches them to become medical assistants in the San Francisco area. The <a href="http://www.greencityforce.org/" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #337c8c; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">Green City Force</a> trains and hires young workers to paint rooftops white in New York City. This simple strategy reduces the temperature on the roof by up to 40 degrees and can cut the energy bill in the building by up to 18%. However, far too many of the uneducated labor force in the U.S. are slipping into unemployable status.</div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">The Honor System</strong><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />I've spoken to many divorcees who had divorce settlements that mandated money aside for college, only to discover when it came time to pay tuition that no funds had actually been saved. Or the college fund had been drained to pay other bills. It's difficult, expensive, time-consuming and simply <em style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; font-style: italic !important; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">too late</em> to try and go back to court for a judgment in time to keep your kid in college. (College admission is very competitive these days.) That is why setting up a 529 college fund that both parents are able to monitor annually (at minimum) is a safeguard against this disaster. But which brokerage and which fund are best?</div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">529 College Savings Plans </strong><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />529 College Savings Plans vary dramatically, so much so that FINRA.org, the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority, has issued an Investor Alert, warning Americans that "investors may be shortchanging themselves by investing in 529 college savings plans with high fees [and] plans that currently do not offer them state tax benefits." The <a href="http://www.finra.org/Investors/ProtectYourself/InvestorAlerts/529Plans/P010756" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #337c8c; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">FINRA.org Investor Alert </a>offers "8 easy lessons that, if followed, will help you make smart college savings plan choices."</div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Once you set up the right fund, the great news is that if the winds of Wall Street fall in your favor, over time, your monthly investment and gains can compound - providing your college student with far more for that Ivy League (or Junior College League) education than you could have ever saved.</div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Careers of the Future</strong><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Creating the college ethos (in both homes) is just as important as setting up the funds. So be sure that both you and your ex are reinforcing the value of STEM (science, technology, engineering and math) to your tweens. STEM underlies almost every job today. Even car mechanics are working on computers.</div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Biotechnology, technology, smart phones, cloud computing, health services and engineering companies are hiring at a rapid pace, and some of these professions - especially in computer technology -- have more jobs than applicants. But other emerging industries are on the horizon as well. If Secretary of Energy Dr. Steven Chu and President Obama have their way, clean energy will become a major driver of American industry going forward. And not just to reduce global warming. This focus on clean energy is intended to put the U.S. in the forefront of one of the strongest new global growth industries.</div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">According to Secretary Chu, "The world will demand clean energy and high energy products. This is an international competition. We still generate the best ideas in the world." Currently, clean energy companies in the U.S., like Applied Materials, KLA Tencor and Veeco Instruments, are leading Wall Street in revenue growth, having more than doubled sales over the past two years, with 80% of the revenue coming from Asia.</div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">As President Clinton pointed out at the CGI America Conference, "We're spending too much money on today and yesterday and not enough on tomorrow." When that is the case in a divorce, it could end up costing you a ton of extra money and sleepless nights down the road. You don't want to end up with an unemployed 26-year old sleeping on your couch.</div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 14px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" /><span style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">About Natalie Pace:<br style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; display: block; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" />Natalie Pace is the author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/You-vs-Wall-Street-Youve/dp/1593155514/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1259084953&sr=8-1" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #337c8c; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">You Vs. Wall Street</a> and the founder and CEO of the Women's Investment Network, LLC. She is a blogger on HuffingtonPost.com and a repeat guest on national television and radio shows such as Good Morning America, Fox News, CNBC, ABC-TV, Forbes.com, NPR and more. As a philanthropist, she has helped to raise more than two million for Los Angeles public schools and financial literacy. Follow her on F<a href="http://www.facebook.com/NWPace" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #337c8c; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">acebook.com/NWPace</a>. For more information please visit <a href="http://www.nataliepace.com/np.php?fxn=home" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #337c8c; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">NataliePace.com</a>. </span></span></div></span></span></div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-8376001579006912912011-08-10T12:50:00.000-04:002011-08-10T12:50:23.758-04:00The Ice Break Gamifies Romantic Relationships<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;"><b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6UXNM5-wmMxW5mIWjMkgAf6W1s_44eT4Rm65L9xorWYfLIsAorByXz5w5S1sloKeCkdwV9d9Dh9qFzJcsg2JSLIbwMhpebkbHYMpV2w-9vp925wkicRfDsyQlsmypRcktmSxQaNnCfpY/s1600/The+Ice+Break.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6UXNM5-wmMxW5mIWjMkgAf6W1s_44eT4Rm65L9xorWYfLIsAorByXz5w5S1sloKeCkdwV9d9Dh9qFzJcsg2JSLIbwMhpebkbHYMpV2w-9vp925wkicRfDsyQlsmypRcktmSxQaNnCfpY/s320/The+Ice+Break.jpg" width="247" /></a></div>The Ice Break Gamifies Romantic Relationships</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">By Liz Gannes</span><br />
<br />
The Web is rife with dating sites, and in fact a team of early YouTubers was planning to add another one to the mix — they called it <a href="http://blog.pickv.com/">Pickv</a>. But late last year the team seized on a different project: What comes after dating sites.<br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://allthingsd.com/files/2011/08/Theicebreak1.png"><img height="300" src="http://allthingsd.com/files/2011/08/Theicebreak1.png" width="400" /></a> And so today they are launching <a href="http://theicebreak.com/">TheIceBreak</a> as a personal improvement site called for couples — think of it as the equivalent of Mint or RunKeeper for relationships. (And you can use it even if you didn’t meet your partner on a dating site.)<br />
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The IceBreak co-founders Christina Brodbeck and Dwipal Desai have read up on theories of relationships and enlisted the help of a couples therapist to design their service.<br />
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Here’s how it works: TheIceBreak asks one or both members of a couple to answer a daily icebreaker question about their partner or relationship, as well as capture a moment, like a photo of a smile. Once a week the service pings users to answer a survey about their relationship to be compiled into a stats report about how things are going and how they compare to other couples.<br />
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Participation on TheIceBreak is entirely private and/or anonymous, which could inhibit its growth, though the site does include hooks for users to share their relationship moments and accomplishments to Facebook and Twitter.<br />
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Brodbeck and Desai, who were a very early designer and engineer at YouTube, respectively, have funded TheIceBreak themselves and work out of the Founders Den in San Francisco. They’re letting anyone who signs up into their beta trial now and said they plan to launch mobile apps in the next few weeks.</span><br />
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<a href="http://allthingsd.com/files/2011/08/IceBreakchart.png"><img height="211" src="http://allthingsd.com/files/2011/08/IceBreakchart-640x338.png" width="400" /></a><br />
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</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-81313373243861848542011-08-09T13:07:00.000-04:002011-08-09T13:07:28.960-04:00The Shocking Truth for 30% of Divorced Women<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDLg-w5dUF_0gp-5EFPhg6ie2VrE2VAE5ZFQJXPcJ1zhJKAmQvL7gHShzOur8xouf_TmtD1B640FroHSLPiqK2m_TXWS8JHVu9NTTfoytX6ScLXAa4WVyBOeRMLZ_whcAKcW1AQg1rJ9s/s1600/Divorced+Women.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDLg-w5dUF_0gp-5EFPhg6ie2VrE2VAE5ZFQJXPcJ1zhJKAmQvL7gHShzOur8xouf_TmtD1B640FroHSLPiqK2m_TXWS8JHVu9NTTfoytX6ScLXAa4WVyBOeRMLZ_whcAKcW1AQg1rJ9s/s320/Divorced+Women.jpg" width="306" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;"><b>The Shocking Truth for 30% of Divorced Women</b></span><br />
<br />
It was the day she had dreamed about. Standing barefoot at sunset, "Joni" (a former client of mine whose name I have changed) stood looking at the man she was about to marry. She planned the perfect wedding--a fairytale. There was one hitch--as she looked into her future husband's eyes, she had a pretty good idea that the marriage would not last.<br />
<br />
Joni's story was not unique. After years of working with women like her I was curious about why so many women stayed in relationships that were essentially doomed from the start. As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, I have spent more than 15 years working with women seeking guidance for relationship issues. The initial call usually involves a request to help with "communication skills" or "conflict management." More often than not, as therapy progresses, they reveal that the problems started long before they walked down the aisle. And if they're not married, they'll admit that they already know he's is not the right guy for them--yet they stay.<br />
<br />
When I had a serendipitous meeting with a former runaway bride, we decided to write a book about this phenomenon. My coauthor's story of her near-miss at the altar along with my clinical experience turned into a mission to find out why so many women walk down the aisle knowing they are making a mistake! We thought if we could help women recognize the excuses for dating--and ultimately marrying--the wrong guys, maybe we could help them find the courage to get out before it was too late.<br />
<br />
We developed a survey and sent it to divorced women, with one qualifier: "Did you know you were making a mistake as you were walking down the aisle?"<br />
<br />
We sent it to everyone we knew. Within days our inboxes were jammed. Eventually, close to 1000 women gave detailed accounts about why they knowingly dated and eventually married the wrong guys.<br />
<br />
Amid a chorus of critics who shout "hindsight bias" or "selective memory," I stand firm. If you take 10 divorced women and ask them whether they believed on their wedding day that they were marrying the right guy for the right reasons, seven of them would say yes and three will confess they had serious doubts long before walking down the aisle. That's the shocking truth for 30% of divorced women.<br />
<br />
These women have very clear, distinct memories of the doubts, issues and concerns that existed in the relationship all along. They can also tell you exactly what they were feeling before they walked down the aisle. For example:<br />
<br />
I was avoiding my dad's eyes as I waited with him at the end of the aisle. I did not want to hear any "pearls of wisdom." Instead I paid attention to the photographer. I simply could not look at my dad because I knew I was making a mistake.<br />
<br />
I felt like I was dying a thousand deaths. I just wanted to get the whole thing over with.<br />
<br />
By the time they made it to the ceremony, they felt it was too late to turn back. While their insides told them to run, their outsides marched down the aisle. They saw problems and ignored them. However, every single one of them put the blame for ignoring the problems and issues squarely on their own shoulders. The problem is not that their fiancé was a bad guy-the problem was that they ignored the problems!<br />
<br />
<b>Why would smart women do this? They cited many of the same reasons:</b><br />
<br />
• Age: The self-imposed biological clock is starting to tick a little louder.<br />
• "Marriage will instantly make the relationship better."<br />
• "It's my last chance to get married and no one else will come along."<br />
• "If it doesn't work out I can always get a divorce."<br />
<br />
You can be critical, point your finger and shake your head. Judgment aside, "these women" are your sisters, daughters, and friends. Maybe even you. Their common --yet misguided--belief is that they are better off with the wrong guy than being alone. It doesn't matter how self-actualized, independent or liberal-minded they are.<br />
<br />
So what's the answer? When in doubt, don't! Don't let fears of being alone dictate a night out with someone you have nothing in common with. Don't continue to date a man with whom you have zero chemistry. Chemistry matters. Don't say "I do" because you have "invested too much time in the relationship" or it's "the next logical step." And absolutely don't think that divorce can be used as an escape route without consequence. Divorce is not easy even when you are the one serving the papers. It's expensive, painful and it affects everyone around you.<br />
<br />
Just ask Joni. She saw the red flags and she ignored them. Her gut told her something was wrong but she tuned it out. She found out the hard way that being alone would have been a lot easier than marrying the wrong guy--especially as she starts the painful task of navigating a divorce. The moral of the story is pay attention to those red flags and gut feelings. If you do, you are guaranteed to have happier, healthier relationships. What a difference this would make in the divorce rate. As a therapist, I'd be thrilled.</span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-26164601077687938372011-08-08T10:18:00.001-04:002011-08-08T10:18:02.342-04:00Relationships and real estate<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzgZk9CeN_EJMYooN7NM6dy4oNj0WznFyMcwRuVJLXdUpylitEmjem8x-I1e7M6qaccinPCJEjUVY0iY55WpFXvV3PHXcw9gKaMv3A3M9At8lB-3ein9f0mH-orHSR1CLXqXOqPGFy_3I/s1600/Relationships+and+real+estate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="261" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzgZk9CeN_EJMYooN7NM6dy4oNj0WznFyMcwRuVJLXdUpylitEmjem8x-I1e7M6qaccinPCJEjUVY0iY55WpFXvV3PHXcw9gKaMv3A3M9At8lB-3ein9f0mH-orHSR1CLXqXOqPGFy_3I/s320/Relationships+and+real+estate.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;"><b>Relationships and real estate</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">BY HELEN MORRIS</span><br />
<br />
The relationships we choose can have ramifications for our home ownership.<br />
<br />
"If you are living as a couple but because of circumstance only one of you pays the mortgage, the rules are all over the map as to whether you have the same rights as a married couple upon separation," says Christine van Cauwenberghe, an estate planning specialist with Investors Group in Winnipeg.<br />
<br />
Regardless of who pays the mortgage, it is important to get legal advice on how to set up the ownership or title of your home.<br />
<br />
"We tell clients entering into common-law relationships to enter into some sort of cohabitation agreement... as to how the assets are going to be shared," Ms. Cauwenberghe says.<br />
<br />
"Generally, title to the property is what determines who is the owner, not who pays," says Ray Leclair, real estate lawyer and vice-president of Title Plus at Law Pro in Toronto.<br />
<br />
"It is very dependent upon the individual facts," he adds. That is true whether you are married or in a common-law relationship, and no matter how property ownership is set up.<br />
<br />
"When you buy a property... you can put it as joint tenants or tenants in common," Mr. Leclair says. "Joint tenancy is the common way for married couples who will be taking title. They are equal owners of the property and the survivor is automatically the owner."<br />
<br />
If the title is registered as tenants in common, unless otherwise stated, a couple is presumed to have an equal share of the property, Mr Leclair says. However, he cautions, there have been successful claims on property based upon constructive trust and unjust enrichment.<br />
<br />
"The constructive trust [case] was where the common-law spouse... was in a relationship for 25 years. They split up. He was the [sole] title owner. She didn't accept that, so she went to court and established that she had a constructive trust that he held the property in trust for both of them," Mr. Leclair says. "The unjust enrichment [case] is where two people get together, one owns but the other puts a lot of money into renovations. It would be unjust to let [only the title owner profit from the proceeds of the sale of the home]."<br />
<br />
Mr. Leclair says marriage affects the status of the home.<br />
<br />
"Married spouses have equal right to possession," Mr. Leclair says. "There's a restriction upon the title 'spouse'... transferring, mortgaging, doing anything with the property without the written consent of the other spouse."<br />
<br />
Ms. Cauwenberghe says cohabitation agreements can be useful for dividing property up to a point.<br />
<br />
"In the courts once you've entered into a 'family joint venture'... raising children together, one person is moving so the other person can take a job... we're going to get closer to the 50-50 division no matter who is making the payments," Ms. Cauwenberghe says. "You're making decisions as a couple."</span><br />
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</span></div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-87597436566428901322011-08-05T09:57:00.000-04:002011-08-05T09:57:58.495-04:00Early sex linked to divorce<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8MtwYsm8aFSCJNIS5sOhw00DYHdAlg1CX_iXSc6O-JK6F0yfCZsAD10BhgQpfqjLB-UXhQ8CKwt3lYJuHnsqcdmKXpZUE7Rm9_UeCfoq7ss6v5awdCTqtgOa6Adia6-aFHHdK_WTfBWo/s1600/love+war+blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8MtwYsm8aFSCJNIS5sOhw00DYHdAlg1CX_iXSc6O-JK6F0yfCZsAD10BhgQpfqjLB-UXhQ8CKwt3lYJuHnsqcdmKXpZUE7Rm9_UeCfoq7ss6v5awdCTqtgOa6Adia6-aFHHdK_WTfBWo/s320/love+war+blog.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">Early sex linked to divorce</span></b><br />
By: Ani<br />
<br />
<b>A study, examining the link between teen sex and divorce rate, has found that women who started having sex in their teens are more likely to divorce.</b><br />
<br />
The University of Iowa analysis found that 31 percent of women who had sex for the first time as teens divorced within five years, and 47 percent divorced within 10 years.<br />
<br />
The divorce rate for women who delayed sex until adulthood was far lower: 15 percent at five years, and 27 percent at 10 years.<br />
<br />
Author Anthony Paik, associate professor of sociology in the UI College of Liberal Arts and Sciences, examined the responses of 3,793 ever-married women to the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth.<br />
<br />
"The results are consistent with the argument that there are down sides to adolescent sexuality, including the increased likelihood of divorce," Paik said.<br />
<br />
"But there's also support for the 'more sex positive' view, because if a teen delays sex to late adolescence and it is wanted, that choice in itself doesn't necessarily lead to increased risk of divorce," he stated.<br />
<br />
Paik said there are a couple of potential explanations for the link between teen sex and divorce.<br />
<br />
"One possibility is a selection explanation, that the women who had sex as adolescents were predisposed to divorce. The attitudes that made them feel OK about having sex as teens may have also influenced the outcome of their marriage," Paik explained.<br />
<br />
"The other possibility is a causal explanation -- that the early sexual experience led to the development of behaviours or beliefs that promote divorce," he said.<br />
<br />
In a statistical analysis, he found more evidence for the latter, suggesting that the sexual experiences as a teen affected the marriage. The results related to unwanted sex supported his hunch.<br />
<br />
Nevertheless, he cautions that it is too early to rule out the selection explanation.<br />
<br />
"If the sex was not completely wanted or occurred in a traumatic context, it's easy to imagine how that could have a negative impact on how women might feel about relationships, or on relationship skills," Paik said.<br />
<br />
"The experience could point people on a path toward less stable relationships," he stated.<br />
<br />
The findings have been published in the April issue of the Journal of Marriage and Family.<br />
</span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-82273483866248632482011-08-04T13:26:00.000-04:002011-08-04T13:26:47.266-04:00Sexting cannot replace real relationships<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwOWUq1lZhrdpBXvASUYzB9ar8u_lN1kIcInAWFiXAyGdKNvhi10_IGJwfU_9PqxcSl39-zYYPr44st1IPxgwfgmi0Iy0MHgCMF5LAatphUc5_b3R54MvkcE8IRYME8AiRoqeLrggkwUs/s1600/Sexting+cannot+replace+real+relationships.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwOWUq1lZhrdpBXvASUYzB9ar8u_lN1kIcInAWFiXAyGdKNvhi10_IGJwfU_9PqxcSl39-zYYPr44st1IPxgwfgmi0Iy0MHgCMF5LAatphUc5_b3R54MvkcE8IRYME8AiRoqeLrggkwUs/s320/Sexting+cannot+replace+real+relationships.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">Sexting cannot replace real relationships</span></b><br />
<b>The way people get involved in and develop sexual relationships with others has changed dramatically over the last 20 years due to the increased availability of devices such as computers, video cams and cell phones.</b><br />
By: ANI</span></div><div><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But at the end of the day there is no substitute for physical, face-to-face contact in our sexual relationships, according to a new study.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Diane Kholos Wysocki from the University of Nebraska at Kearney, and Cheryl Childers from Washburn University in Topeka, Kansas, investigated the behaviors of infidelity on the Internet and sexting - sending sexually explicit text messages and photographs via email or cell phone.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sexting is a fairly new phenomenon, where adults send their nude photographs and sexually explicit text messages to another adult to turn them on and increase the likelihood of a sexual relationship.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At the same time, the Internet has made the act of infidelity much easier.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In order to explore both sexting and infidelity and understand how people use the internet to find sexual partners, Wysocki and Childers placed a survey on a website aimed at married people looking for sexual partners outside their marriage (AshleyMadison.com).</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A total of 5,187 adults answered questions about Internet use, sexual behaviors, and feelings about sexual behaviors on the Internet.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In particular, Wysocki and Childers found that respondents were more interested in finding real-life partners, both for dating and for sexual encounters, than online-only partners.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"While social networking sites are increasingly being used for social contact, people continue to be more interested in real-life partners, rather than online partners. It seems that, at some point in a relationship, we need the physical, face-to-face contact. Part of the reason for this may be that, ultimately, humans are social creatures," the researchers concluded.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Their findings were published online in Springer's journal, Sexuality and Culture.</span><br />
<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><br />
</b></span></div></div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-35272168715796984932011-08-03T11:04:00.000-04:002011-08-03T11:04:34.032-04:00Teaching Kids How to Break Up Nicely<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;"><b><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji0troGnLUxMrdlxFaUd6hWVSiIZnNhBgKxZl4BZAqRiNrgXu01g7agJ0sJebEQ4n0HTr66M9qU1heb78tjQ8kL05vkb5XyOabrLBDdAOu_9yuxPOhsZeQ6WYPRRBZrPX-zTORvqFfDyA/s1600/Teaching+Kids+How+to+Break+Up+Nicely.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji0troGnLUxMrdlxFaUd6hWVSiIZnNhBgKxZl4BZAqRiNrgXu01g7agJ0sJebEQ4n0HTr66M9qU1heb78tjQ8kL05vkb5XyOabrLBDdAOu_9yuxPOhsZeQ6WYPRRBZrPX-zTORvqFfDyA/s320/Teaching+Kids+How+to+Break+Up+Nicely.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Teaching Kids How to Break Up Nicely</b></span><br />
<br />
Late last month, 200 teenagers from Boston-area schools gathered to discuss the minutia of <a href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/news/business/companies/facebook_inc/index.html">Facebook</a> breakup etiquette. Should you delete pictures of your ex after splitting up? Is it O.K. to unfriend your last girlfriend if you can’t stop looking at her profile? And is it ever ethically defensible to change your relationship status to single without first notifying the person whose heart you’re crushing?<br />
<br />
These pressing adolescent questions were part of a one-day conference on “healthy breakups” sponsored by the<a href="http://www.bphc.org/Newsroom/Pages/TopStoriesView.aspx?ID=227">Boston Public Health Commission</a>. “No one talks to young people about this aspect of relationships,” Nicole Daley, one of the conference organizers, told me between breakout sessions as teenagers swarmed a nearby cotton-candy stand. “We’re here to change that.”<br />
<br />
Minutes later, 15 high-school students on a sugar high convened for a session on “creating online boundaries.” The girls outnumbered the boys, and they didn’t hesitate to gang up on a charming — and, until then, immensely well liked — 17-year-old named Roberto, who proclaimed with a bit too much gusto that “racing to update your relationship status after a breakup” is a healthy behavior. That was just one of a handful of scenarios the teenagers debated and placed into “healthy” or “unhealthy” categories: others included “posting mean/embarrassing statuses about your ex” (unhealthy) and “rushing into a new ‘Facebook official’ relationship” (understandable, but still not healthy).<br />
<br />
“Roberto, you’re really going to run all the way to your house after school to change your status?” a 16-year-old named Lazangie asked, shaking her head. She knows a thing or two about Facebook-related breakups: her last relationship ended, she said, because her ex-boyfriend couldn’t handle her male friends posting niceties on her wall.<br />
<br />
“When I’m done with a relationship, I’m not going to wait a day, an hour or even 10 minutes to update my status,” Roberto told the group. “When it’s over, it’s over. I’m done with you.”<br />
<br />
“The key word here is ‘racing,’ ” another girl replied with all the condescension she could muster. “Is that really healthy? Breaking up shouldn’t be a competition!”<br />
<br />
The group’s adult facilitator — who wore a blue “Face It, Don’t Facebook It” pin, in a reference to the apparently troubling trend of young people breaking up with one another via social media — nodded in agreement and suggested that Roberto consider taking a “technology timeout” the next time he felt compelled to race home and publicly declare his singlehood. Roberto reluctantly agreed to consider it.<br />
<br />
Throughout the one-day meeting, organizers did their best to make the teenagers forget they were about to learn something. They were encouraged to freely use their cellphones (“We’re not” — the kind of adults — “who tell you not to use them!” an organizer boasted during the day’s opening session), and breakup-themed songs, like Kelly Clarkson’s “<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7UrFYvl5TE">Since U Been Gone</a>,” blasted from the main conference room’s speakers. The pandering worked: I saw only one teen roll her eyes all day.<br />
<br />
To help the youngsters envision what a healthy split might look like, pictures and videos of several celebrity couples who managed amicable breakups were projected onto a big screen. Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz, for example, were heralded as healthy because “they’re still friends and were able to co-star in a movie together.” Their parting was juxtaposed with those of Kanye West and Amber Rose (West wrote a mean song about her) and Sammi and Ronnie from “Jersey Shore” (Sammi supposedly defriended Ronnie’s friends on her Facebook page), who each exhibited the kind of “unhealthy” breakup behavior that the Boston Health Commission hopes Massachusetts young people will rise above.<br />
<br />
In that pursuit, organizers encouraged the crowd to eschew parting ways over text message or Facebook, the most common teen breakup methods. (A bisexual 15-year-old confessed in a morning session that she learned that her girlfriend of two years had dumped her only when she changed her relationship status to single.) Attendees were advised — with mixed results — to bravely confront the awkwardness of face-to-face breakups. When the facilitator in a session titled “Breakups 101” suggested that teenagers meet with “and come to an agreement or mutual understanding” with a soon-to-be ex, a skeptical 19-year-old nearly leapt out of her chair in protest. “So, you’re telling me that you’re crying at night, you’re not sleeping, you’re eating all this food to make you feel better, and you’re supposed to just come to an agreement?”<br />
<br />
That sounded like wishful thinking to at least one teenager, who insisted that dating in high school is for suckers. “Who needs the drama?” she said, adding that many peers choose friendships or casual sexual relationships over formal romantic ones. “I’ve got enough problems without some stupid boy breaking up with me on Facebook.”</span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-27278879408233934932011-08-03T10:59:00.000-04:002011-08-03T10:59:15.101-04:00Clothes make the man<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAGBgCZcPa1CyIK8qlhz6j1QGP-JdIzK160AOcC6xN8CnTMrp3_JrToho6XT9QdZpKpuz15aWTmWHhsxwtRJj9FRURq4dKUYVw2cPDK-m3onfmBD-kLEpO4SzBcToYIfiYDGqlaiD6gp4/s1600/Ryan+Gosling.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAGBgCZcPa1CyIK8qlhz6j1QGP-JdIzK160AOcC6xN8CnTMrp3_JrToho6XT9QdZpKpuz15aWTmWHhsxwtRJj9FRURq4dKUYVw2cPDK-m3onfmBD-kLEpO4SzBcToYIfiYDGqlaiD6gp4/s320/Ryan+Gosling.jpg" width="232" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>Clothes make the man</b></span><br />
<h4 style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 400; line-height: 1em; margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; zoom: 0;">By ADAM TSCHORN</h4><h4 style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: 400; line-height: 1em; margin-bottom: 0.1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; zoom: 0;">Los Angeles Times</h4><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 1.1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; zoom: 0;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">HOW TO WEAR IT WELL</span></b></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 1.1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; zoom: 0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You may not have your own version of Ryan Gosling's Jacob Palmer character waiting in the wings to make you (or your fashion-challenged mate) over the way he did Steve Carell's Cal Weaver in "Crazy, Stupid, Love." But the movie's costume designer, Dayna Pink - who not coincidentally dresses Carell for red carpets and events - has advice on fighting fashion faux pas.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 1.1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; zoom: 0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Fit is foremost</b></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 1.1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; zoom: 0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"The No. 1 problem most guys have is fit," Pink says. "In general, when a guy buys off the rack, he doesn't take time to get his pants hemmed - or if he's got big shoulders and a small waist he doesn't get the jacket tailored. They're just not aware of it. ... If you go shopping, take the extra time to make sure you get something that fits you. That means you may have to get a tailor."</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 1.1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; zoom: 0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Lead with the shoulder</b></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 1.1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; zoom: 0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And when it comes to fit, she explains, "The shoulder is everything - in shirts and in suits. If the shoulder is too big, then the suit's too big, period. The rest can be tailored, but the shoulder can't. So it's always a good idea to dress a man from the shoulders."</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 1.1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; zoom: 0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Simplicity is key</b></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 1.1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; zoom: 0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You don't have to look like you're trying so hard," Pink advises. "Just because you see it in a men's magazine doesn't mean it's going to work on you - not everybody should be in a skinny-cut jeans, for example. This is especially true if you're not an uber-fashion guy."</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 1.1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; zoom: 0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Choose the right shoes</b></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 1.1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; zoom: 0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Although uniting running shoes with a pair of khakis and a polo has become universally accepted silver-screen shorthand to indicate the "fashion-challenged male," Pink is quick to point out that sneakers aren't necessarily off limits. "There are some that might work - like Converse hightops or these suede Pumas that are out right now," she says. "They'd be perfect with a pair of jeans or khakis."</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 1.1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; zoom: 0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Accessories after the fact</b></span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 1.1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 1.1em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; zoom: 0;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"All the little things make a difference," Pink says. "Yes, the shoes but if you're wearing a ring, if your belt's nice, your bag - what you carry is as important as what you wear." Pink points out that knowing when to forgo the accessories is equally important, and points to the final scene of "Crazy, Stupid, Love," in which Carell's character gives a touching speech wearing a simple white dress shirt and a gray Ermenegildo Zegna blazer, sans necktie. "When we were doing his fitting I was thinking about going with an Etro tie," she explains. "And Steve was the one who suggested we get rid of the tie. It was like a light bulb went off, and it fits where his character has gone by the end of the movie."</span></div></span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-13770363023280225392011-08-02T08:33:00.000-04:002011-08-02T08:33:54.382-04:00“Stayover” Relationships Preferred Over Long-Term Commitments<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVU-kwtMDla_oS1K-Dq2aNkAiIywX_pgSWCpJwnRzynSLQw5pw_aQi7dUceUY8tllJYEiJpiDG661imKCDxaWEVVtj9ItY54Oq6X4I5jrqVTSWgT-7SGSCyAUCDQwhI7Y1GdgDaZqpLtg/s1600/Stayover+Relationships.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVU-kwtMDla_oS1K-Dq2aNkAiIywX_pgSWCpJwnRzynSLQw5pw_aQi7dUceUY8tllJYEiJpiDG661imKCDxaWEVVtj9ItY54Oq6X4I5jrqVTSWgT-7SGSCyAUCDQwhI7Y1GdgDaZqpLtg/s1600/Stayover+Relationships.jpg" /></a></div><h1 class="entry-title" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; display: block; font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 25px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 31px; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 10px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000;">“Stayover” Relationships Preferred Over Long-Term Commitments</span></h1><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 18px;">by Drucilla Dyess</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 18px;"><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The new dating trend for young American couples clearly shows a preference for short-term commitment versus long-term. Engaging in a “stayover” relationship not only provides an easy out if the relationship deteriorates, but also allows each partner freedom from the entanglements of living together or getting married. These are the findings of a new study from the University of Missouri-Columbia that was recently published in the <i style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Journal of Social and Personal Relationships</i>.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">A stayover relationship is one in which dating couples spend three or more nights weekly together, while opting to spend the remaining nights of the week in their own homes.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">In a news release, study author Tyler Jamison, a doctoral candidate in the human development and family studies department at the University of Missouri, said, “Instead of following a clear path from courtship to marriage, individuals are choosing to engage in romantic ties on their own terms without the guidance of social norms.” She then added, “There is a gap between the teen years and adulthood during which we don’t know much about the dating behaviors of young adults. Stayovers are the unique answer to what emerging adults are doing in their relationships.”</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Recent U.S. census data indicates that people are getting married later. The findings of the new study help to provide at least part of the explanation for this. Many young people are opting for completing their education and getting established in their careers prior to tying the knot and starting a family.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Jamison and study co-author Lawrence Ganong interviewed a number of college-aged adults who were engaged in committed, exclusive relationships, and uncovered several reasons for the growing stayover trend. Findings of their analysis showed that comfort and convenience appear to be the main advantages of stayover relationships, as they allow both partners to maintain some degree of control over the pace of their relationship as well as over their personal possessions.</span></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 18px;"><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Jamison explained, “As soon as couples live together, it becomes more difficult to break up. At that point, they have probably signed a lease, bought a couch and acquired a dog, making it harder to disentangle their lives should they break up. Staying over doesn’t present those entanglements.”</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The study findings also indicated that among those in stayover relationships, couples did not have any definitive plans to either live together or to get married. Jamison pointed out, “Many college-aged adults are students who will soon be facing a transition point in their lives. Most students do not have a definite plan for where they will live or work after graduation, and stayovers are a way for couples to have comfort and convenience without the commitment of living together or having long-term plans.”</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The stayover couples are not truly in a different form of relationship, but that it’s simply something that they do while dating. Jamison said that none of the couples saw themselves as cohabiters no matter how many nights weekly they spent together. She commented, “It is interesting how separate they felt about their living arrangements to the point where they would act like a guest in the other person’s place.”</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Conclusions of the report include the fact that stayover relationships are something that couples can do that has a lot of benefits without having to face a lot of consequences. There doesn’t seem to be any long-term consequences of engaging in stayover relationships, and in fact, it’s doubtful that it has major implications for later commitments or marriages.</span></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #1a1a1a; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The next step is to expand the research to look at unmarried parents due to a suspicion that people of all ages, and many circumstances engage in stayover relationships.</span></div></span></span></div><div><br />
</div><div><br />
</div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-46617370440448379982011-08-01T10:48:00.000-04:002011-08-01T10:48:02.659-04:00Computer conducts couple’s wedding ceremony<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz3y8TJN-lircRJNg9F8hpFhAgnwO4bvGXJNjEAIeKlbKH0fMHuuWXyh8dgrxuihSCF9pAKaBpBTGqhlgaSMK6apO0vyw-ytMy3lif2uYG1J2fautAmEtETrpiV0pIJQAHAOzWUl64nk0/s1600/Computer+conducts+couple%25E2%2580%2599s+wedding+ceremony.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz3y8TJN-lircRJNg9F8hpFhAgnwO4bvGXJNjEAIeKlbKH0fMHuuWXyh8dgrxuihSCF9pAKaBpBTGqhlgaSMK6apO0vyw-ytMy3lif2uYG1J2fautAmEtETrpiV0pIJQAHAOzWUl64nk0/s320/Computer+conducts+couple%25E2%2580%2599s+wedding+ceremony.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">Computer conducts couple’s wedding ceremony</span></b><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">By RICK MARSHALL</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #444444; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><div class="excerpt" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">A Texas couple programmed their computer to be their wedding's virtual minister.</strong></div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">We’ve created robots that will do everything from <a href="http://www.digitaltrends.com/cool-tech/us-army-adopts-new-breed-of-robotic-battle-vehicles/" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: #1582c5; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">fight in wars</a> to <a href="http://www.digitaltrends.com/features/transformers-among-us-five-robots-with-crazy-new-abilities/" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: #1582c5; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">make pancakes</a>, so why not a robot that conducts wedding ceremonies?</div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">That’s exactly what a Texas couple created for their big day when they had difficulty settling on a living, breathing person to serve as officiant.</div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">According to the <a href="http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/tx/7675684.html" rel="nofollow" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: #1582c5; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Associated Press</a>, Miguel Hanson and Diana Wesley were married Saturday in Houston by Hanson’s computer, which he programmed to greet the guests, share some stories about the couple, and proceed with the ceremony. Nicknamed “Rev. Bit,” the computer even made a joke or two.</div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">“If anyone here has anything to say that might change their minds or has any objections, they do not want to hear it and I will not recognize your objections since Miguel has programmed me to only recognize his commands,” the computer reportedly announced at one point during the ceremony.</div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">A web developer and IT consultant, Hanson created the virtual minister after he and his wife decided to go all-out with the “geeked-out wedding” theme. The pair collaborated on the script, and Hanson controlled the progress of the computer’s speech using a wireless mouse.</div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Appropriately enough, the pair met on the dating site “Sweet on Geeks.”</div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">“We’re both friends of the computer. So it’s kind of like our best friend is still marrying us,” said Wesley. “The computer is a huge part of our lives, so why not be a huge part of this?”</div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">It’s worth noting that as novel as the idea is, this isn’t the first time a robot has presided over a real-life couple’s wedding. Back in May, a Japanese couple were <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uguH2dN2uvE" rel="nofollow" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; color: #1582c5; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">married by a robot</a> in Tokyo — though that robot was controlled by a human sitting nearby.</div></span></span></div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-78436425930741771232011-07-29T11:15:00.000-04:002011-07-29T11:15:05.350-04:00Is casual sex worth it?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9Xz6oIJ_d0uVCP-PYezosFhByMsjoX8LD3DjzIWxJWNBuBRHsm-xjRwKsEFVdTb3pcXqBroj0-vpiEdsM0BEY_4IrnSsiU1PonBpUlyFZuePWkMmVMoBokeNvPnzceDzqrLw1Lz6Mt5M/s1600/Is+casual+sex+worth+it.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9Xz6oIJ_d0uVCP-PYezosFhByMsjoX8LD3DjzIWxJWNBuBRHsm-xjRwKsEFVdTb3pcXqBroj0-vpiEdsM0BEY_4IrnSsiU1PonBpUlyFZuePWkMmVMoBokeNvPnzceDzqrLw1Lz6Mt5M/s320/Is+casual+sex+worth+it.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>Is casual sex worth it?</b></span><br />
<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #010101; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"></span><br />
<div class="cnn_first" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #010101; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><em style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 12px; font-style: italic; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://www.iankerner.com/" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #004276; font-family: inherit; font-size: 12px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Ian Kerner, </a>a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart. Read more from him at his website,<a href="http://goodinbed.com/" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #004276; font-family: inherit; font-size: 12px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">GoodInBed.</a></em></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #010101; line-height: 18px;"><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To do it, or not to do it: That is the question of casual sex - at least as depicted on film.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In both "Friends With Benefits" (currently playing) and the previously released "No Strings Attached," casual sex is anything but casual. It’s carefully weighed, hotly debated, methodically scrutinized and, of course, comically miscalculated. As in most romantic comedies, the casual sex turns out to be quite committed and just a part of falling in love and living happily ever after.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the movies, blind lust and romantic love often intersect seamlessly, but in reality, casual sex is often an emotional dead-end rather than an on-ramp to relationship bliss.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anthropologist <a href="http://www.helenfisher.com/" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #004276; font-style: inherit; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Helen Fisher </a>describes love as a three-phase system:</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1) Lust, in which we can attach to anyone.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2) Attraction, in which lust finds its focus and blossoms into romantic love.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3) Attachment, in which romantic love matures into a long-term relationship.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span id="more-26474" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span>Casual sex is often an expression of Phase 1 (lust at its most unfocused), but, unfortunately, many people go into it with the false hope that it will lead to romantic love. And that’s where life does not imitate the movies.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That’s not to say that casual sex is a bad thing. It can be loads of fun, as well as a way of trying out new things and practicing your sex skills for that future special person. But casual sex isn’t always so simple.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As my colleague Emily Nagoski, author of the <a href="http://www.goodinbed.com/ebooks/2010/04/female-orgasms/index.php" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #004276; font-style: inherit; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms</a>, writes, “Especially when it comes to having sex with someone for the first time, the question of what it is you actually want when you want sex is very complicated indeed. Because what do you want, when you want sex? Do you want to get laid? Do you want a relationship? Do you want love? Do you want revenge? Do you want to rebel? Do you want to get pregnant? ... Then there’s the question of whether or not (and what kind of) sex will get you what you want. Sex will get you laid. Whether or not it gets you a relationship or love or revenge or rebellion or a baby is less certain, and so the decision becomes complicated.”</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Casual sex has its risks and rewards, although the movies tend to focus more on the risk of falling in love than, say, the very real consequence of contracting a sexually transmitted infection.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As the authors of "Sex in America" write of their interviews with more than 3,000 people, “Although we find that large numbers of Americans have had a sexually transmitted disease at least once in their lives, there is nothing random about where the diseases strike … the people who are most likely to be infected share one key characteristic: They have many sex partners.”</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As it turns out, if a man has two to four sexual partners in his lifetime, his chances of ever having contracted a sexually transmitted infection are about 3%.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As the number of partners increases, so does the risk. With more than 20 partners, his risk is about 28%, almost a 1,000% increase. The same rough pattern is true of women, with the spectrum of percentages increasing from 5% to 35%.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It should therefore come as no surprise that the more partners a person has had, the more likely it is that he or she has engaged with those partners outside of a monogamous relationship, and that his or her partner falls into a similar pattern of casual sex, thereby greatly increasing the risk of having come into contact with a sexually transmitted infection.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Casual sex could trigger a domino effect of risky behaviors.</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“The more partners an individual has,” according to "Sex in America," “the more likely he or she is to have sex with people who themselves have many partners, the more likely he or she is to have sex with virtual strangers, the more likely she or he is to have been under the influence of drugs or alcohol during some sexual encounters, and while it is more likely that a condom was used, the rate of increased use of a condom does not seem great enough to offset the higher risks of infection.”</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m not trying to scare anyone out of casual sex. As Dr. Alex Comfort had to say in his book "The Joy of Sex," “There is no occasion for panic, or for losing out on the joy of sex - simply informed caution.”</span></div><div style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.7em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 12px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So is casual sex worth it? You tell me. Like the recent spate of movies, does it ever have a happy ending?</span></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #010101; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><div><br />
</div></span></div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-73158584740701718092011-07-28T11:26:00.000-04:002011-07-28T11:26:40.324-04:00Would You Dump Her if She Got Fat?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5ZsiEGJxjjd87Mr5qBZQE-DeNurbERUV-k3bi28MxINc6TKiXi9Rrc-Xft1YgjDJC8jSpY55WRt9HlxhDwgwCnPJEgF2sZF4lHavrcK-4saVGtIL5vnScDpQT4EOFB8C68PjGh8NXyFc/s1600/Half+Of+Men+Say+They+Would+Leave+A+Partner+Who+Gained+Weight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5ZsiEGJxjjd87Mr5qBZQE-DeNurbERUV-k3bi28MxINc6TKiXi9Rrc-Xft1YgjDJC8jSpY55WRt9HlxhDwgwCnPJEgF2sZF4lHavrcK-4saVGtIL5vnScDpQT4EOFB8C68PjGh8NXyFc/s320/Half+Of+Men+Say+They+Would+Leave+A+Partner+Who+Gained+Weight.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><h1 class="title-news" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; font: normal normal bold 32px/36px Arial, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000;">Half Of Men Say They Would Leave A Partner Who Gained Weight: Survey</span></h1><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's been a rough year for women struggling with their weight.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Almost 50 percent of men surveyed in a new poll of 70,000 people said they would <a href="http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43898300" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #ba72ba; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">leave a partner who gained weight</a>, reports MSNBC. In contrast, only 20 percent of women said they would ditch a significant other for putting on extra pounds.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">James Bassil, editor-in-chief of AskMen, which cosponsored the poll with Cosmopolitan.com, said the study showed that "some romantic behaviors have proven to be timeless ones" including the notion that "size matters."</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The survey results aren't the only recent data to indicate that men consider a woman's weight when evaluating a relationship. Last month, a study claimed that both husbands and wives were more satisfied with their marriages when the <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Health/w_RelationshipNews/marriages-satisfying-wives-thinner-husbands/story?id=14081017" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #ba72ba; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">wife had a lower body mass index</a> than the husband.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Defending her findings, Andrea Meltzer, lead author of the study, told ABC News, "It's relative weight that matters, not absolute weight. It's not that [women] have to be small."</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The study didn't explore exactly how relative weight influences marital happiness.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Earlier this year, research suggested that a woman's weight may effect more than her relationships. A University of Michigan study found that in Iceland, the <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Health/w_RelationshipNews/marriages-satisfying-wives-thinner-husbands/story?id=14081017" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #ba72ba; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">higher a woman's weight, the less likely she was to be employed</a>. For men, higher weight was correlated with an increase in employment rates.</span></span></div><div class="adver_cont_below" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; font: normal normal bold 11px/normal Arial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 5px; text-align: center;"></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">MSNBC, which covered the study under the headline, "Those extra pounds can hurt you at work, ladies," reported that another recent study, this one out of the University of Florida, found that women 25 pounds over the average weight earn $13,847 less per year than average-weight women.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But worrying too much about weight can also hurt a woman's career, according to a survey conducted by Dove in May. Fifteen percent of the 445 women who participated said worry about their<a href="http://www.fmwf.com/media-type/news/2011/07/worrying-about-her-weight-can-endanger-a-womans-career/" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #ba72ba; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">appearance had gotten in the way of their career</a> advancement, and 20 percent said body concerns affected their day-to-day lives. And yet another study claimed that <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/18/better-body-image-aids-in-weight-loss_n_901573.html" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #ba72ba; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">better body image helps women lose weight</a>.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In other words, data tells women who are overweight, or think they are, that their body size can be problematic for their relationships and their careers. Yet worrying or feeling bad about it may hurt them at work and their chances of losing weight.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Men aren't without their own body anxiety, of course. The AskMen/Cosmopolitan.com survey found that 51 percent of men wished they had a larger penis. However, unlike men, whose responses might reinforce women's insecurities about their bodies, only 18 percent of women said they wished their partner were better endowed.</span></span></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here are a few other findings from the survey, according to <strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Reuters</strong>:</span></span></div><ul style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><li class="first" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: inside; list-style-type: disc; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 35px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Male birth control:</strong> Both men and women liked the idea of a male birth control pill, in contrast to a recent <em style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; font-style: italic !important; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">New York Times</em> article on <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/24/health/research/24contraception.html" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: #ba72ba; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">male contraceptives</a> stating that it's unclear whether men would use the pill.</span></span></li>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><li style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: inside; list-style-type: disc; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 35px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Digital infidelity: </strong>75 percent of men surveyed equated sexting with cheating. Two thirds of men had no problem with a partner friending an old flame on Facebook, but only 38 percent of women were okay with it.</li>
<div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><li style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: inside; list-style-type: disc; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 35px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Ultimate status symbol:</strong> 39 percent of men said family. 43 percent of women said a beautiful home, and 25 percent of women said a successful partner.</li>
<div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><li style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: inside; list-style-type: disc; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 35px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Kiss and tell: </strong>50 percent of men said they had lied about their number of past sex partners, whereas only 35 percent of women had.</li>
<div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><div style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; color: black; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><li class="last" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: inside; list-style-type: disc; margin-bottom: 4px; margin-left: 35px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Who pays the bill:<strong style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"> 38 percent of women said they should pay for themselves, while percent said men should. 59 percent of men said they should treat, at least at the beginning of a relationship.</strong></li>
</span></span></ul></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-47590766218162100332011-07-27T12:48:00.000-04:002011-07-27T12:48:01.203-04:00Dating: By far, it’s the summer’s hottest sport<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0gpcdxleMY5IdO2SdyGcB5wVzkXlFBa0rHK2W0QB21e4I5Wv0ZBvc-YudUkhPnEkxC3jbIiNdPdDkfag0bnfspPs2C_6lHDcVreqOGFfTCcrykCOMk4LqgFaty2R2-UajfEhds3jUYIE/s1600/FOOTBALL+DATING.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0gpcdxleMY5IdO2SdyGcB5wVzkXlFBa0rHK2W0QB21e4I5Wv0ZBvc-YudUkhPnEkxC3jbIiNdPdDkfag0bnfspPs2C_6lHDcVreqOGFfTCcrykCOMk4LqgFaty2R2-UajfEhds3jUYIE/s320/FOOTBALL+DATING.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;">Dating: By far, it’s the summer’s hottest sport</span></b><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">By Dina Z. Colada</span><br />
<br />
This issue of Graffiti is supposed to be about football, among other things. Hmm, I really don’t know much about sports, at all. Seriously, I know of them, but I’ve never really been into them. My friend Ed said “I knew there was something wrong with you.” He nailed it. <br />
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I did go to my friends’ daughter’s lacrosse game last year, but not just to watch the match. I thought it would be a great place to watch for men. I did spy a few there, but the stands weren’t overflowing with them. Maybe I’ll reconsider this sports thing, but I’ll try out some different venues. <br />
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It seems like most guys are into sports. Maybe high school girls lacrosse doesn’t have top priority in the sports-minded men. Maybe I should dig a little deeper and attend some other sporting events. How about Pee Wee Football? Or a Little League game. I’m sure those stands have some cute single dads. Or what about college basketball, football or soccer? I’m getting warmer, and I don’t think girls softball games will be top priority on my list. <br />
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Well, dating is a sport. And as far as I’m concerned, it’s a contact sport, and a good one at that. So, I guess I am into sports. And I have found my favorite: dating. Dating can be as competitive as baseball, and when you don’t know the other team’s moves, it makes it that much more exciting. When you’re playing the dating game, things can be fun, get messy, physical, maybe even sweaty. There is also a possibility that you might get hurt.<br />
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But the desire to play with the opposite sex is stronger than getting tickets to a Pirates game, at least for me. Most women I know aren’t that into sports. So what is it about guys and sports? Maybe the catch phrase “He dribbles! He shoots! He scores!” has something to do with it. <br />
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Certainly, guys appreciate some competition, but not with the girl. When the girl is competitive, the guy thinks you are not on his team, and he’ll start to play against you. But if he’s playing against outside opponents, he’ll put on his best game face, fight off other players, and if he wins the girl, he gets loads of points.<br />
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But, if a girl plays games or uses strategies, the umpire in the guys head will scream “Steeeerike one!” If she complains or makes him wrong, the ump screams “Streeeeeike two!” If she doesn’t appreciate him, he screams even louder “Streeeeeerike 3 — she’s outta here!” Game over. There will be no overtime and certainly no playoffs. You won’t even get to wear your new uniform with tall stripey baseball socks. And the only replay you’re gonna get, will be the one in your head saying what did I do wrong?<br />
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So when that game is over, it’s time to look for a new team to play with, and there are plenty of other players. But don’t let the new team see all of your best moves in the first game. You’ve gotta leave the team hungry for the next game. Let him wonder what it’s like to hit a home run after he reaches first base.<br />
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In the dating game, you might get some bumps and bruises, but please don’t tackle anyone or get too defensive. Be brave, and learn to laugh when you fumble or completely miss the basket. When you think you don’t have a chance of winning, get out there anyway, and learn to play ball. And if the ball is in your court, learn how to throw it back. If you think your team doesn’t have the skills, or isn’t good enough to get at least a few points, you’ve gotta practice even more. And if you really need help you can hire an experienced coach. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-26378462473326519272011-07-26T08:22:00.000-04:002011-07-26T08:22:19.411-04:00Personality Characteristics of an Unfaithful Partner<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTOlftngnXjyEu4dvF38JkP0FlkTKdswbQOaF-Rw4Jw4mHHTqzdL-aFlhJjpEukB-MyvdYCA8riW_qNJlAdtb28CE157F4JJhzUV8lud3kpaQj5bbgTCSDSUrq8hvbjJ_VY8FB_bHwxZY/s1600/Personality+Characteristics+of+an+Unfaithful+Partner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTOlftngnXjyEu4dvF38JkP0FlkTKdswbQOaF-Rw4Jw4mHHTqzdL-aFlhJjpEukB-MyvdYCA8riW_qNJlAdtb28CE157F4JJhzUV8lud3kpaQj5bbgTCSDSUrq8hvbjJ_VY8FB_bHwxZY/s1600/Personality+Characteristics+of+an+Unfaithful+Partner.jpg" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>Personality Characteristics of an Unfaithful Partner</b></span><br />
<div id="top_review" style="color: #222222; font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 3px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 3px;"><span class="author" style="color: #446677; font: normal normal normal 11px/normal arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">By <span class="authorb" style="text-transform: uppercase !important;">RICK NAUERT PHD</span> <em>Senior News Editor</em></span><br />
<span class="reviewer" style="color: #9999aa; font: normal normal normal 11px/normal arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on July 26, 2011</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
<br />
What makes a partner stray? Sexual performance <a href="http://psychcentral.com/disorders/anxiety/">anxiety</a>, for one; risk-taking tendencies in men, relationship issues for women.<br />
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These findings are part of a new study that is the first to look at how demographics, interpersonal factors and sexual personality affect infidelity.<br />
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For both men and women, personality characteristics and interpersonal factors are more relevant predictors than are religion, marital status, education or gender.<br />
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“Few studies on infidelity have gone beyond exploring demographics,” said Robin Milhausen, Ph.D., who conducted the study with doctoral student Kristen Mark and Erick Janssen, Ph.D., of Indiana University.<br />
<br />
“This research shows that demographic variables may not influence decision-making as much as previously thought — that personality matters more, especially for men.”<br />
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The study was published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior.<br />
<br />
The study involved 506 men and 412 women who reported being in monogamous sexual relationships lasting from three months to 43 years. Participants were asked to report on demographic variables such as religion, education and income. They also completed scales that measured sexual personality variables and answered questions about their relationships.<br />
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Remarkably, men and women reported similar rates of infidelity (23 and 19 percent, respectively). However, the factors associated with predicting unfaithfulness varied greatly by gender.<br />
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For men, significant predictors of infidelity are personality variables, including propensity for sexual excitation (becoming easily aroused by many triggers and situations) and concern about sexual performance failure.<br />
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While the fear of sexual performance failure would seem to be an odd reason to be unfaithful, researchers say this finding has been discovered in other studies.<br />
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One reason for this association may be that “People might seek out high-risk situations to help them become aroused, or they might choose to have sex with a partner outside of their regular relationship because they feel they have an ‘out’ if the encounter doesn’t go well – they don’t have to see them again, ” said Milhausen.<br />
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For women, relationship happiness is the key. Women who are dissatisfied with their relationship are more than twice as likely to cheat; those who feel they are sexually incompatible with their partners are nearly three times as likely.<br />
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“All kinds of things predict infidelity,” Milhausen said. “What this study says is that when you put all of those things together, for men, personality characteristics are so strong they bounce everything else out of the model. For women, in the face of all other variables, it’s still the relationship that is the most important predictor.”<br />
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Milhausen cautions against misinterpreting or overemphasizing the study’s findings.<br />
<br />
“Taken at face value, this research might seem to just support sexual stereotypes: Women are just concerned about the relationship, and, for men, once a cheater, always a cheater, regardless of their relationship. But the caveat is that there are a lot of variants and factors that are not explained here that might impact whether someone cheats.”<br />
<br />
Still, knowing that sexual personality characteristics — and, for women, relationship factors — are strong predictors suggests directions for therapeutic interventions, she said.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-70989274365938819752011-07-25T10:54:00.000-04:002011-07-25T10:54:38.225-04:00Post-Divorce Dating Club™ Launches Nationally<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRXCHuXV2X7Z-UbJ9D9vnMl4mLZt6RPVu-94RAJ5BLCIEljfahA8td2OFCjpVXXZjN4IPptej4bPoRUPQmH1UZ4_Dc48gGb8ABeuTmvdgVJtCPtBtObRCzYew_dOYZ7o9J5Bebg_9Kmrg/s1600/divorce+club.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRXCHuXV2X7Z-UbJ9D9vnMl4mLZt6RPVu-94RAJ5BLCIEljfahA8td2OFCjpVXXZjN4IPptej4bPoRUPQmH1UZ4_Dc48gGb8ABeuTmvdgVJtCPtBtObRCzYew_dOYZ7o9J5Bebg_9Kmrg/s1600/divorce+club.jpg" /></a></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">Post-Divorce Dating Club™ Launches Nationally</span></b><br />
<b>A new community dedicated to helping re-singles mix, mingle, & maybe meet, launches nationally</b><br />
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The Post-Divorce Dating Club™ (PDDC), a division of the Post-Divorce Group LLC, launched its website today for divorced, separated or people who have been in a long term committed relationship. PDDC combines both online dating with offline Miixzee's™, seminars, coaching, matchmaking, and post-divorce <a href="http://www.benzinga.com/pressreleases/11/07/p1796187/post-divorce-dating-club-launches-nationally#">resources</a> and services to help build a comprehensive support network around individuals looking to move past their divorce.<br />
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The PDDC was founded by Lee Block, a divorced mom of two, after she discovered the difficulty divorcees encountered when seeking out quality dating partners. Block is the author of The Post-Divorce Chronicles, a regular contributor to the <a href="http://www.benzinga.com/pressreleases/11/07/p1796187/post-divorce-dating-club-launches-nationally#">Huffington Post<img src="http://images.intellitxt.com/ast/adTypes/mag-glass_10x10.gif" /></a>, and a post-divorce coach as well. According to Block, CEO of the Post-Divorce Group LLC, “I noticed a common recurring theme that ran through my sessions. Dating. I then started to think about online dating, and how when you date online, what do you get? You get men and women that come from a different place than you and don't understand the place that you are at! How do you weed through all those people to find the like minded people you want to date? You can't just throw a man or woman who was married for 15 years out to the wolves on online dating and expect them to come back without a couple of limbs missing! So, Post-Divorce Dating Club was born.”<br />
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This site <a href="http://www.benzinga.com/pressreleases/11/07/p1796187/post-divorce-dating-club-launches-nationally#">offers</a> an all encompassing community. Everyone on PDDC is divorced, in the process of divorce or has been in a long term committed relationship. Some of the services that they offer are background checks and a professional profile writing service. It only takes 5 minutes to fill out your profile on this site. PDDC also offers an offline matchmaking service that is personalized and one on one.<br />
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The services and resources directory is searchable by city and state and there are several ways to learn online through teleseminars and webinars, as well as expert bloggers that cover topics ranging from relationships to <a href="http://www.benzinga.com/pressreleases/11/07/p1796187/post-divorce-dating-club-launches-nationally#">finance</a>. The offline Miixzee's™, where you can learn and mingle in a relaxed atmosphere, will be slowly starting up in major cities across the United States as the site grows and there is also a forum where you can chat and give suggestions for the site.<br />
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According to Block, “This community is growing quickly and the feedback has been excellent. We pride ourselves on our customer service and providing a safe place for re-singles to date and get to know each other. We are a positive upbeat unbeatable and downright unbelievable community for re-singles who want to mingle!”<br />
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PDDC is offering the first 500 people who join a free 6 month membership through August 15, 2011. For more information about the PDDC, please email lee(at)postdivorcedatingclub(dot)com or visit the website at <a href="http://www.postdivorcedatingclub.com/">http://www.postdivorcedatingclub.com</a> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, FreeSans, Garuda, Helvetica, 'Bitstream Vera Sans', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 14px;">.</span></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial, FreeSans, Garuda, Helvetica, 'Bitstream Vera Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 14px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, FreeSans, Garuda, Helvetica, 'Bitstream Vera Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><span><br />
</span></span></div></div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-14881962693901826762011-07-22T12:27:00.000-04:002011-07-22T12:27:50.079-04:009 Secrets Men Keep From Women<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjciy90GcyaQ1pNNGY3FijfrLWUyg8vb2avpgZMKW26NZgJKeTwETxqvilIzPoECoG_MGhsHkJr3jabyFMt0Ot5tdyaBdZ3X-eVuocBUne14_7ARUu3xHXcS79OSukaoNn0EBgTnSpuI4c/s1600/9+Secrets+Men+Keep+From+Women.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjciy90GcyaQ1pNNGY3FijfrLWUyg8vb2avpgZMKW26NZgJKeTwETxqvilIzPoECoG_MGhsHkJr3jabyFMt0Ot5tdyaBdZ3X-eVuocBUne14_7ARUu3xHXcS79OSukaoNn0EBgTnSpuI4c/s320/9+Secrets+Men+Keep+From+Women.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="sectionheader" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 50%; color: #4c4c4c; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; font: normal normal bold 12px/normal arial; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: -2px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Relationship Confidential: A Woman's Guide to Evasive Guys</div><h1 style="color: #86ab13; font-family: arial; font: normal normal bold 26px/normal arial; line-height: 22px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">9 Secrets Men Keep From Women</span></h1><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You may have married Honest Abe, but many men still keep some of their emotions top secret. A relationship expert explains why they stay so hush-hush.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><div class="byline" style="color: #999999; display: inline; font: normal normal normal 11px/normal arial; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">By <a href="http://www.everydayhealth.com/contributing-writers-and-editors.aspx" style="color: #999999; display: inline; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; font: normal normal normal 11px/normal arial; text-decoration: none;">Chris Iliades, MD</a></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><div class="reviewedby" style="color: #999999; display: inline; font: normal normal normal 11px/normal arial; margin-left: 10px;">Medically reviewed by <a href="http://www.everydayhealth.com/medical-reviewers.aspx" style="color: #999999; display: inline; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; font: normal normal normal 11px/normal arial; text-decoration: none;">Niya Jones MD, MPH</a></div></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #444444; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ever wish you could delve into the male mind to figure out what he’s <em>really</em>thinking? For ages, women have tried to interpret “guy-psyche” — why he didn’t he call; why he <em>did</em> call you by his ex’s name. But every man is different, and there is no one-size-fits-all explanation for guys’ cryptic tendencies. However, research has found a number of surprising parallels. From his fears of commitment to his <a href="http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/0706/cuddling-may-be-key-to-long-term-happy-relationship.aspx" style="color: #1b75bc; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">fondness for cuddling</a>, certain emotions cause many men to freeze up rather than open up. Here are the top secrets guys keep (and why).</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #444444; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><img height="400" src="http://images.agoramedia.com/everydayhealth/gcms/pg-secrets-men-keep-from-women-01-full.jpg" width="400" /><div><br />
</div><div><h3 class="galleria-info-title" style="color: #4c4c4c; font-weight: bold; font: normal normal bold 14px/18px arial; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 7px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">He Loves You, He Loves You Not</span></h3><div class="galleria-info-description" style="color: #444444; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Those “three little words” could be the most complex in the English language. While some men prematurely pull the trigger on the "L word" (a recent study from the <em>Journal of Personality and Social Psychology</em> found that guys tend to say “I love you” first, often driven by the idea that their partner will be more likely to have sex with them) — other guys just aren’t that good at getting the words out. Instead, they <a href="http://www.everydayhealth.com/healthy-living/love-reduces-stress.aspx" style="color: #1b75bc; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">show their love</a> through their actions. How can you know for sure? Those actions may be a truer indicator of his feelings than any passion-fueled colloquy, says Irina Firstein, LCSW, a relationship counselor who has advised couples in New York City for more than 20 years.</span></div></div><div><img alt="He Loves You, He Loves You Not" height="400" src="http://images.agoramedia.com/everydayhealth/gcms/pg-secrets-men-keep-from-women-02-full.jpg" width="300" /></div></div><div><br />
</div><div><h3 class="galleria-info-title" style="color: #4c4c4c; font-weight: bold; font: normal normal bold 14px/18px arial; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 7px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">He Has Cold Feet</span></h3><div class="galleria-info-description" style="color: #444444; line-height: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Men often have a harder time picking up on subtle <a href="http://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/5-quick-fixes-every-relationship-needs.aspx" style="color: #1b75bc; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">relationship</a> cues — and because of this, your man may not be aware of the point in which your bond has moved to a higher expectation of commitment. In fact, some guys get anxious about becoming attached, even if they seem to enjoy the relationship. "Men often 'rubber band,' withdraw, or pull back if they feel like the relationship has moved beyond their comfort zone," Firstein notes. This new territory can take a </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">man by surprise — even if you felt like he was forging ahead at the same pace you were.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img alt="He Has Cold Feet" height="300" src="http://images.agoramedia.com/everydayhealth/gcms/pg-secrets-men-keep-from-women-03-full.jpg" width="400" /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div><h3 class="galleria-info-title" style="color: #4c4c4c; font-weight: bold; font: normal normal bold 14px/18px arial; margin-bottom: 7px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He Gets Performance Jitters</span></h3><div class="galleria-info-description" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do men think about sex a lot? Sure they do, but their fears of sexual inadequacy may be just as frequent. If a man has ever had an unsuccessful go at sex (and most of them have! — flopped romps can be triggered by common missteps such as drinking too much), his stress in the bedroom can stockpile — which can eventually lead to <a href="http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/sexual-dysfunction/sexual-dysfunction-in-women-and-men.aspx" style="color: #1b75bc; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">sexual dysfunction</a>. Many men will even avoid sex rather than talk honestly about their fears with their partner, and this can harm both the sexual health and the emotional health of a relationship.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img alt="He Gets Performance Jitters" height="400" src="http://images.agoramedia.com/everydayhealth/gcms/pg-secrets-men-keep-from-women-04-full.jpg" width="300" /></span></div></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><h3 class="galleria-info-title" style="color: #4c4c4c; font-weight: bold; font: normal normal bold 14px/18px arial; margin-bottom: 7px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">He's Not Crazy About Monogamy</h3><div class="galleria-info-description" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">Some men stay mum about the extent of their sexual desires. "Freedom, and particularly sexual freedom, and variety are typically more important to men than to women,” says Firstein. “Many married men feel that they love their wives and, at the same time, have no problems<a href="http://www.everydayhealth.com/mens-health/why-men-cheat-and-how-to-stay-faithful.aspx" style="color: #1b75bc; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">cheating</a>." This difference between men and women can be one of the most damaging to a couple because of the sense of betrayal it can create (even if he never actually strays).</div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><img alt="He's Not Crazy About Monogamy" height="400" src="http://images.agoramedia.com/everydayhealth/gcms/pg-secrets-men-keep-from-women-05-full.jpg" width="400" /></div></div></span><h3 class="galleria-info-title" style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: arial; font-size: 16px; font-weight: bold; font: normal normal bold 14px/18px arial; margin-bottom: 7px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">He Wants You to Initiate Sex (and Cuddling)</h3><div class="galleria-info-description" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You may think sexual desire is hard-wired in men, but with every attempt at <a href="http://www.everydayhealth.com/mens-health/why-men-cheat-and-how-to-stay-faithful.aspx" style="color: #1b75bc; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">turning you on</a> comes a threat of rejection — even in the most established relationships. That’s why it’s such a turn-on when a woman makes the moves, allowing him to skip the risk altogether. And it’s not just sex he wants: One recent study from the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University actually found that cuddling and caressing in a relationship are more important to men than women. Next time, be the sexual pioneer — it could strengthen the health of your relationship more than you realize.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img alt="He Wants You to Initiate Sex" height="400" src="http://images.agoramedia.com/everydayhealth/gcms/pg-secrets-men-keep-from-women-06-full.jpg" width="400" /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><h3 class="galleria-info-title" style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: arial; font-size: 16px; font-weight: bold; font: normal normal bold 14px/18px arial; margin-bottom: 7px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">He's Depressed</h3><div class="galleria-info-description" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.everydayhealth.com/depression/understanding.aspx" style="color: #1b75bc; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">Depression</a> has no gender bias: It can strike anyone, including the most macho of men. However, studies show that men who are depressed are less likely to open up about their sadness or lack of energy than women. Instead, they are more likely to avoid sex, say they’re overtired, or drink more. "Some men are uncomfortable about feeling sad, and their sadness or depression may come out as anger," warns Firstein. Depression is one of the most dangerous secrets a man can keep, so if you think a male in your life could be depressed, it’s important to let him know that you’re concerned.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img alt="He's Depressed" height="400" src="http://images.agoramedia.com/everydayhealth/gcms/pg-secrets-men-keep-from-women-07-full.jpg" width="400" /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><h3 class="galleria-info-title" style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: arial; font-size: 16px; font-weight: bold; font: normal normal bold 14px/18px arial; margin-bottom: 7px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">He Suppresses (Instead of Addresses) Doubt</h3><div class="galleria-info-description" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Some men are instilled with the notion that they shouldn’t show signs of fear or doubt; eventually, those doubts and fears can snowball into big secrets, ones they may keep even from themselves. But when his undisclosed apprehensions involve his relationship — whether it’s about getting married or bringing you along to “guys’ night” — both partners’<a href="http://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/index.aspx" style="color: #1b75bc; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">emotional health</a> is at risk. "Men may postpone a marriage engagement as long as possible and then propose because they think it is the right thing to do,” Firstein says. “They frequently get anxious or distant right before a wedding because they have not fully dealt with their doubts or fears."</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img alt="He Suppresses (Instead of Addresses) Doubt" src="http://images.agoramedia.com/everydayhealth/gcms/pg-secrets-men-keep-from-women-08-full.jpg" /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><h3 class="galleria-info-title" style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: arial; font-size: 16px; font-weight: bold; font: normal normal bold 14px/18px arial; margin-bottom: 7px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">He Feels Afraid of His Own Feelings</h3><div class="galleria-info-description" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Doubt isn’t the only emotion men stay hush-hush about — in fact, some guys have a hard time opening up about a range of feelings. "Because many men are problem solvers and are uncomfortable talking about feelings, there are a number of intense feelings that don't get expressed with words, but rather acted out," notes Firstein. The good news? Men aren’t Neanderthals. The emotions are there; they just need to be uncovered. And if ‘fessing up about his feelings remains a stumbling block, he may need to seek <a href="http://www.everydayhealth.com/family-health/understanding/ingredients-of-a-good-marriage.aspx" style="color: #1b75bc; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">relationship advice</a>from a professional.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img alt="He Feels Afraid of His Own Feelings" height="400" src="http://images.agoramedia.com/everydayhealth/gcms/pg-secrets-men-keep-from-women-09-full.jpg" width="400" /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"></div><h3 class="galleria-info-title" style="color: #4c4c4c; font-family: arial; font-size: 16px; font-weight: bold; font: normal normal bold 14px/18px arial; margin-bottom: 7px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">And the Biggest Secret Men Keep…</h3><div class="galleria-info-description" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here’s a fact: Men need (and want) intimacy just as much as women do. Mutual respect, trust, support, and communication — these relationship musts are just as important for a man's emotional and <a href="http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/101.aspx" style="color: #1b75bc; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">sexual health</a> as they are for a woman's. When both partners are able to open up and let their relationship develop at its own pace, that love will be nurtured by positivity — rather than stunted by secrets.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img alt="intimacy" src="http://images.agoramedia.com/everydayhealth/gcms/pg-secrets-men-keep-from-women-10-full.jpg" /></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-36085897147789327462011-07-21T11:30:00.000-04:002011-07-21T11:30:17.120-04:00Mila Kunis Thinks 'Friends With Benefits' Relationships Can Work<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpq2hyBVFvewvOJN5mlKgvwGFXEWnrjYQog9on8zKHWFfBzfa2rwc8g-j6FtYN_VJ0QHBxJquI22iZ93wjba73ygd38KyxTtkEDlIVRaPtpLHLGCJJ4vnAKXGtF3PQsqx0kJNZuwW8Kqg/s1600/Mila+Kunis+Thinks+%2527Friends+With+Benefits%2527+Relationships+Can+Work.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpq2hyBVFvewvOJN5mlKgvwGFXEWnrjYQog9on8zKHWFfBzfa2rwc8g-j6FtYN_VJ0QHBxJquI22iZ93wjba73ygd38KyxTtkEDlIVRaPtpLHLGCJJ4vnAKXGtF3PQsqx0kJNZuwW8Kqg/s1600/Mila+Kunis+Thinks+%2527Friends+With+Benefits%2527+Relationships+Can+Work.jpg" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 27px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 30px;">Mila Kunis Thinks 'Friends With Benefits' Relationships Can Work</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;"><h2 class="sub-title article" style="color: #1f1f1f; font-size: 21px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 23px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-right: 30px;">Co-stars Bryan Greenberg, Patricia Clarkson aren't so sure.</h2><div class="byline" style="color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 2px;">By Amy Wilkinson</div><div class="byline" style="color: #1f1f1f; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 2px;"><br />
</div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #1f1f1f; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In spite of the rather raunchy, nearly naked ad campaign for <a href="http://www.mtv.com/movies/movie/467991/moviemain.jhtml" style="color: #a50000; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none;">"Friends With Benefits,"</a> the movie's all-star cast, including Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, turned up fully clothed at the romantic comedy's world premiere Monday night at New York City's Ziegfeld Theatre.<br />
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<div class="player-placeholder right" height="211" id="vid:674421" style="float: right; margin-left: 15px;" width="240"><div class="playerPlaceholder" flashvars="configParams=vid%3D674421" height="211" id="mgid:uma:video:mtv.com:674421" style="cursor: pointer; height: 211px; position: relative; width: 240px;" width="240"><img src="http://www.mtv.com/global/music/player/images/bttn_play-big.png" style="color: #999999; font-weight: normal; left: 74px; position: absolute; top: 69px;" /><img src="http://mtv.mtvnimages.com/uri/mgid:uma:video:mtv.com:674421?height=180&width=240" style="color: #999999; font-weight: normal;" /><img src="http://www.mtv.com/global/music/player/images/bttn_play.gif" style="bottom: 0px; color: #999999; font-weight: normal; left: 0px; position: absolute;" /><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: url(http://www.mtv.com/global/music/player/images/control-bar.gif); background-origin: initial; background-position: 0% 0%; background-repeat: repeat no-repeat; bottom: 0px; height: 31px; left: 31px; position: absolute; width: 209px;"></div></div></div><br />
But on a hot, sweltering night devoted to celebrating no-strings-attached relationships, the topic of sex came up early and <i>often.</i> So, of course, we had to ask the film's stars if they thought a friends-with-benefits relationship like the one depicted in writer/director Will Gluck's July 22 release could really work long-term.<br />
"Not in my life because I've tried it and failed miserably," laughed Bryan Greenberg, who plays one of Kunis' suitors.<br />
For the most part, Greenberg's co-stars were of the same opinion.<br />
Jenna Elfman, who plays Timberlake's sister, said, "I've been with my husband for 20 years, so I haven't first-hand attempted a friends-with-benefits lifestyle." But she still had her reservations: "I really, frankly, don't think it's workable."<br />
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"For some people, yes; for me, not so much," Patricia Clarkson agreed.<br />
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Even Gluck, the film's writer/director, admitted he thinks it's an impossible undertaking. "I think the scenario works very briefly and in college — everyone else is kidding themselves."<br />
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The sole dissenter was Kunis, who said it all depends on your definition of "works." "Sure! I mean, you get upgraded or downgraded; it switches and takes different positions. You get promoted, or you get fired."<br />
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<i>Do you think a friends-with-benefits relationship can work? Will you see the flick? Tell us in the comments!</i></span></span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-56565030879040276782011-07-20T11:16:00.000-04:002011-07-20T11:16:12.359-04:00Women who are looking for perfect-10 men are judging us based on the 6 Sixes<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipME9GbSCIvA6_4W_LOqXBSf06WEdluZExinaD1jbpU4D4nOCVzl2WZj47of15MtbF0UctbfAxyS6X4fxBwB7zFh0MDimjWEgB3HZFd82tlpPBkLdAwUBVQMmHAqC0cXsDEwOEe2uSWBU/s1600/love+war+blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipME9GbSCIvA6_4W_LOqXBSf06WEdluZExinaD1jbpU4D4nOCVzl2WZj47of15MtbF0UctbfAxyS6X4fxBwB7zFh0MDimjWEgB3HZFd82tlpPBkLdAwUBVQMmHAqC0cXsDEwOEe2uSWBU/s320/love+war+blog.jpg" width="217" /></a></div>Women who are looking for perfect-10 men are judging us based on the 6 Sixes</span></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">BY RACHEL KHONA</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5d5d5d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><ul class="betterManBrief" style="color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 12px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 25px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><li class="header" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; font-size: 16px; line-height: 16px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><strong style="color: #2d2d2d; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">What You Need To Know</strong></li>
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: url(http://images.askmen.com/2010/bgAllAssets.gif); background-origin: initial; background-position: -641px -283px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 15px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">Women who are looking for perfect-10 men are judging us based on the Six Sixes.</li>
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: url(http://images.askmen.com/2010/bgAllAssets.gif); background-origin: initial; background-position: -641px -283px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 15px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">Not every guy's car has to have 600 horsepower, but econo-boxes won't do.</li>
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: url(http://images.askmen.com/2010/bgAllAssets.gif); background-origin: initial; background-position: -641px -283px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; line-height: 18px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 15px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">The most important criterion is the one you fear the most.</li>
</ul><blockquote class="pullQuote" style="clear: both; font-size: 26px; line-height: 30px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 25px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: url(http://images.askmen.com/2010/bgAllAssets.gif); background-origin: initial; background-position: -185px 0px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; display: inline-block; float: left; height: 22px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-top: 0px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; text-indent: -1000px; width: 27px;">"</span>Women have come up with a system of their own to weed out the average Joes from the Brad Pitts.<span class="endingQuote" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: url(http://images.askmen.com/2010/bgAllAssets.gif); background-origin: initial; background-position: -185px -32px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; display: inline-block; float: none; height: 22px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; text-indent: -1000px; width: 29px;">"</span></blockquote><div style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;"></div>You know how men use a scale from 1-10 to determine a woman’s attractiveness? A 10 is a smoking-hot babe a la Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and a 1 is something that crawled out of a murky Louisiana swamp. Well, women have their scale too, and it’s called the Six Sixes. But unlike men's method, which judges women based solely on their appearance, the Six Sixes evaluates men on their bodies, their income and their ability to…<a href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_200/216_love_tip.html" style="color: #124f88; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">perform</a>. <br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /> <br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />In other words, women have come up with a system of our own, created to weed out the average Joes from the Brad Pitts. Shallow? Perhaps, but don’t think she’s not judging you. Unless she’s a <a href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_500/536_how-to-avoid-the-gold-digger-the-eternal-questions.html" style="color: #124f88; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">gold digger</a> and solely out for the cash, most gorgeous, independent women are going for the gold: the crème de la crème of men. Put plainly, we're looking to score as many sixes as we can. The more sixes a girl can score, the better. A ten-incher or a seven-figure salary can make up for a lack in the other departments, but if you’re majorly missing one of the below, you might want to start working on filling in the gaps. Read on for a breakdown of the Six Sixes.<h3 style="color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 25px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;">A Six-Figure Salary</h3>These days a six-figure salary isn’t much, but it’s sure as hell better than a five-figure <a href="http://www.askmen.com/money/career_100/141_career.html" style="color: #124f88; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">salary</a>. Five figures is fine for your average Joe, but to many ambitious women, five figures screams middle class. A successful woman is searching for someone who can treat her to the finer things in life: last-minute weekends in Paris, vacations in Bali and expensive dinners. But it’s not just about the material things. No matter how equal women become to men, when it’s all said and done, money equals power and masculinity. A man who earns a lot of money can more easily take care of his family. And to a lot of us, that is way sexy.<h3 style="color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 25px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;">At Least Six Feet Tall</h3>It almost goes without saying that taller men are more attractive to women. Six feet is a good starting point; it’s sort of like how guys think of a 36C cup size. Height suggests safety and <a class="itxtrst itxtrsta itxthook" href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_500/561_the-six-sixes.html#" id="itxthook0" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 100, 0); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 0.075em; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; bottom: auto; color: darkgreen; cursor: pointer; display: inline !important; float: none !important; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; left: auto; line-height: normal; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-left: 0px !important; margin-right: 0px !important; margin-top: 0px !important; padding-bottom: 1px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; position: static !important; right: auto; text-align: left; text-decoration: underline; top: auto; white-space: normal;"><span class="itxtrst itxtrstspan itxthookspan" id="itxthook0w0" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; border-width: initial; border-width: initial; border-width: initial; bottom: auto; color: darkgreen; display: inline; float: none; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-variant: normal; font-weight: inherit; left: auto; line-height: normal; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px !important; margin-left: 0px !important; margin-right: 0px !important; margin-top: 0px !important; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 0px !important; padding-right: 0px !important; padding-top: 0px !important; position: static; right: auto; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-transform: none !important; top: auto; white-space: normal;">security</span></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5d5d5d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">. We like to feel small and protected in the arms of our guy. A man who’s two inches taller than us is not likely to make us feel sexy or taken care of. More likely we'll feel like we're hanging out with a friend -- and that is not going to get us hot and bothered.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5d5d5d;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br />
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</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5d5d5d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><blockquote class="pullQuote" style="clear: both; font-size: 26px; line-height: 30px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 25px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">A guy who's flabby? Not so much.<span class="endingQuote" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-image: url(http://images.askmen.com/2010/bgAllAssets.gif); background-origin: initial; background-position: -185px -32px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; display: inline-block; float: none; height: 22px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; text-indent: -1000px; width: 29px;">"</span></blockquote></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5d5d5d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><h3 style="color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 25px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;">At Least 600 Horsepower In His Car</h3>All right, a guy doesn’t absolutely need a <a href="http://www.askmen.com/top_10/cars_200/215_car_list.html" style="color: #124f88; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">600-horsepower car</a>. But he does have to drive a car that’s powerful. A Chevy Aveo isn’t going to cut it. A Mercedes, BMW, Lexus or Bentley is a good pick for the fancier girl. For a more laid-back type, an SUV or Audi would be a good choice. But no matter what, station wagons, hatchbacks, minivans, or small budget cars are out if you want to impress Dream Girl.<h3 style="color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 25px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;">A Six-Pack Abdomen</h3>A <a href="http://www.askmen.com/sports/bodybuilding_300/329_exercise-ball-movements-for-six-pack-abs.html" style="color: #124f88; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">six-pack</a> is just an added bonus, but it’s a big one. Sure, a guy without one can be attractive, but there’s nothing more pleasurable than touching a guy who’s hard as a rock. It makes sex that much more fun. Plus, a guy in shape is more likely to go all night. A guy who’s flabby? Not so much.<h3 style="color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 25px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;">At Least Six Months Since Last Relationship</h3>This is an important one for anyone, male or female. If a woman is looking for a keeper, she’s looking for someone emotionally available, and that means someone who is well over his last relationship and not looking for a quick fix for his broken heart. There’s nothing worse than knowing you are the rebound girl.<h3 style="color: #2d2d2d; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 25px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none; text-transform: capitalize;">At Least Six Inches Below The Belt</h3>This sixth point of the Six Sixes is likely to be the one that makes guys the most nervous -- or the most confident, depending on where they stand. To be fair, not all women need a guy who’s <a href="http://www.askmen.com/dating/dzimmer_100/102_love_answers.html" style="color: #124f88; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">at least six inches</a>. But those women are generally not highly sexual. For the rest of us, a minimum of six inches is essential if we want to get off. Lest you think this is superficial, think again. It’s a matter of basic physics: A larger penis makes it easier to hit the g-spot, therefore making it easier to orgasm. A wider penis causes more friction, which enhances pleasure. So if you’re not packing down below, make sure you’ve got those oral and fingering skills down pat.<br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" /><br style="list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; list-style-type: none; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;" />The bottom line? The Six Sixes are a way for women to measure her man’s virility. If you’re lacking in one of the above, start making some changes -- or settle for being just average.</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br />
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</div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-370967665609151271.post-30479148875528332442011-07-19T11:15:00.000-04:002011-07-19T11:15:11.849-04:00The key to romantic happiness Is...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6c6mlDUXCU8QImNrX1Ap4aqEbGobLLSSIzC8zY3mJN8s7w8i8KfFGKQ-SaOinkEe-zB8r0nU_HdAAkI0Fdn6hnLo1-0rwj78LCtz4zimj_HNn_pz2ebq7HphpfkrPbBNgRQjd86LL0zQ/s1600/The+key+to+romantic+happiness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6c6mlDUXCU8QImNrX1Ap4aqEbGobLLSSIzC8zY3mJN8s7w8i8KfFGKQ-SaOinkEe-zB8r0nU_HdAAkI0Fdn6hnLo1-0rwj78LCtz4zimj_HNn_pz2ebq7HphpfkrPbBNgRQjd86LL0zQ/s320/The+key+to+romantic+happiness.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><h1 style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; line-height: 25px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 1px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">Relationship: The key to romantic happiness</span></h1><div class="summary" style="color: #666666; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; margin-bottom: 16px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 6px;">Rekindling a relationship where the love seems to have faded is a two-person job.</div><div class="summary" style="color: #666666; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 16px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 6px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-weight: bold;">By <a href="http://search.nwsource.com/search?searchtype=cq&sort=date&from=ST&byline=BARTON%20GOLDSMITH" style="color: #003388; text-decoration: underline;">BARTON GOLDSMITH</a></span></div><div class="summary" style="color: #666666; margin-bottom: 16px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 6px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chances are, if you are breathing, you've had some heartache — maybe a lot of it.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Research shows that living with heartache can actually damage your heart, as well as make getting through daily life an ordeal.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When does heartache begin? When does a couple start falling out of love?</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Many scientists believe that the body chemistry that ignites a couple's sexual and emotional attraction usually lasts about two or three years, but can start changing as soon as a few months after meeting. Some lucky couples report staying in love for two decades, but that's not the norm.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Over time, your chemistry as a couple changes. The feelings become less intense and exciting, and this is when a power struggle can begin.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When the initial excitement of a relationship starts to fade, some couples choose to coast along in the relationship without making much of an effort to build on their bond.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But doing this — relying on habit and familiarity to keep the relationship going — is a mistake. Unspoken expectations and assumptions will lead to resentment and unhealthy conflict, greater distance, stubbornness and even dislike of one another.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Most couples are in denial when engaged in such actions, and broken hearts are the result.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You don't have to live this way. First you need to admit that you've been engaging in toxic behaviors. Then you can choose to accept being a victim of circumstance and living as you are, or you can find the tools and do the work you need to make life great again.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rekindling a relationship where the love seems to have faded isn't rocket science, but it does take both of you to make it work. It starts by understanding that together you have more control than you might think.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The key to romantic happiness is to maintain and build on the intimacy that you have. One study found that people who remained most passionate about their love lives were the ones who gave themselves new experiences regularly — from trying new restaurants to learning new relationship skills — rather than only sticking to the tried and true.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here's another hint: It's not about sex. Sex can take away from intimacy if it's used as a distraction or as a way to hide from true emotions or difficulties in the relationship.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When loves fades, our feelings vacillate between sad, uncomfortable and angry. It is our right and responsibility as human beings to try to fix it. And we all have the ability. Unfortunately, many people are afraid to work on their relationships. They may not be able to look that closely at themselves or how they have both contributed to pushing their love to the brink of destruction.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Given that there is so much you can do to make things better, why would you want to sit in your pain? Why not take the risk of trying to make your love and your life as good as it can be?</span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06290444334062584270noreply@blogger.com0