HOW SHOULD WE BRAKE UP WITH YOU?

HOW SHOULD WE BRAKE UP WITH

 YOU?

Marcos V - Host / Commentator 

Before I began my rant, I would like to express something. The Articles in this blog are opinion based and in no way shape or form am I an expert (that’s actually pretty clear). My articles are based on 'experience' and 'conversations' I’ve had throughout my adult life. Are my topics sensationalized like one reader suggested? Absolutely, what isn’t in Miami?

I ask this question to women only because it’s from my perspective as a man but I imagine it could go either way (men/women). What is the best way us men could break up with you? Is there even a right way or correct way?

I’ve always heard from my female friends, that they are disappointed in the manner which the person they were dating ended things. I always think back to my experience in relationships which says “when it’s good it’s good but when it’s bad it’s bad”. Unhappy people that aren’t acting right usually don’t exercise a “nice” or doing this they way they should.

I was recently asked by a buddy of mine how he should go about it ending this current rendezvous. I told him that there were many factors that play into it and really no two situations are alike, but I gave him a rough draft. IT WENT BADLY FOR HIM! I thought, SH*t, I screwed up by offering advice on breaking up and I knew that there isn’t a generic way and hell, there may be no right way! I know how personal and tough the break up process is, but I have often wondered what the most effective way to do such an emotionally charged and personal thing REALLY IS. I mean don’t get me wrong I know what the mature way is (being honest) and I don’t mean the text book way, but I meant more of the behind the scenes stuff.  

My experience has been, when I'm the one doing the breaking up, it never goes smoothly, and this is expected. But I wanted to get an idea of what women thought. And I know I’m being vague because there is so much involved, but I wanted to hear some dialogue so get your thoughts in order... 

TAKING IT BACK

When I was younger I admit to not doing things the right way and my immature mentality + lack of experience guided me to HORRIBLE BREAK UPS. I used to take the easy way out and act like a jerk. Obviously this is not cool, you have to look out for the other person’s feelings but you learn from it and grow as a person. As an adult I have done what I felt in my heart was right. HONESTY I assure you is the best policy. At the end of the day if you’re honest and express how you really feel even if you’re expressing things to that may hurt that person they will eventually thank you for it in the long run.  I could go on listing a bunch of possible scenarios but what I really wanted was the women’s perspective.  As they say all is fair in LOVE and WAR. ; )


There are no magic words to break up with somebody, just need a lot of civility.                            Thanks for reading.

Marcos V.

Rosie Q - Host / Commentator 

Marcos,

This topic could not come at a better time. For some reason 2010 seems to be the year for break ups. I've been approached by both men and women for advise on this topic as if I were an expert. I could say that I have had done the most breaking up rather than being broken up with. No matter what I am not an expert, it’s never easy and it really stinks to be on either side (breakupee or breakupor). Regardless if one does not see a future with the person they are with, no matter how you feel at that point in time it is an honorable action to make a decision and put an end on a relationship that in the long run is not going to work.

Sometimes the only advise I give when regarding to break ups is to use the "Band-Aid theory". This theory is just as your parents told you when you were a child. Do you remember how painful it was to remove a Band-Aid from a fresh wound? Well I am sure they advised you to pull it off as quickly as possible and not to think about it too much, because if you did you would not remove it. Well the same goes with breakups, do it quick and make an even quicker exit strategy. The more you hang around and beat around the bush the harder it will be for both parties.  

Hang in there friends,

Rosie Q

TEXT MESSAGING: A Break Up Tool & A World Obsession.

TEXT MESSAGING: A Break Up Tool & A World Obsession.  

Miss La Rosa - Host / Commentator

I've heard people saying how they ended a relationship via text or e-mail.  Huh? Breaking up over a Text Message??? I will be the first one to say that texting is very impersonal but ending a relationship via text is just childish. The practical uses of text messaging make sense. Specifically, when in a meeting or rushing out the door- the quickest & most convenient method to communicate is “texting.”  Technology has permitted us to be able to multitask in an incredible way.  Our busy lifestyles have become much easier with e-mail, texting, IM, etc.  I'm thankful for those means of communication but do think that our growing dependency on them is a good thing? Texting is now an ordinary part of our social lives.

I think it is great to be able to text our kids in between classes to know if they're still feeling sick or if they have any type of situation that us parents need to know about.  In fact there are stories where being able to text has actually saved someone’s life.  I was very surprised to be visiting a friend one day and her child asked her for something via text.  Even more surprising is that her son was in her same house.  This surprised me but I left thinking “how can that happen?”  The following week my son texted me, “Can I have chocolate milk?” right from his room. Are you kidding???  How far have we taken this?       

Is it our new form of communicating or is it an alternative option that we’ve become obsessed with?  I believe that nothing can substitute the sound of someone’s voice.  The tone of the voice and the way you say something makes all the difference in the world. How many times have you texted someone and they've misunderstood what you typed? Yes, I do agree that texting is a great alternative to voice communicating in ‘some instances’. My busy lifestyle calls for a lot of text messaging throughout my day. I do like to think that I know how to use it in moderation and not let it be a large factor in how I communicate in my social life.

How about driving and texting?(Let's be honest please you know most of us do it) Many different states and municipalities are fighting to pass legislation to get these laws in place. According to SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions) and Liberty Mutual Insurance Group, instant and text messaging while driving is close to reaching the same levels of drinking and driving. It’s more common and even more addictive to younger people.  

I feel texting should be appreciated as an alternative form of communication and not as the ONLY form.  There are ways we can all avoid misunderstandings, accidents, and according to some of you, even text break ups.  Perhaps keeping it simple and not getting into deep conversations via text is a bright idea.  When the subject or situation requires importance, then the lines should be short and concluded with a phone call or a set meeting for a face to face.

I’m still getting used to the practicality of texting. My young son is still debating with me on whether asking for his chocolate milk via-text is acceptable. Whatever we decide, one good thing is that it keeps us “talking” and we can clearly get our points across about it.  I can also give him a great big hug and kiss before his bed time ;)     

Thanks for reading,

Miss La Rosa

AFTER THOUGHT'S BY

Whilly Bermudez - Host / Commentator

Miss La Rosa,

Yes, millions and millions are texting. In fact, 142 Billion text messages are sent annually. 74% of all mobile phone users worldwide or 2.4 billion out of 3.3 billion phone subscribers at end of 2007 are active users of the Short Message Service. I only recently discovered that 'SMS' stands for 'Short Message Service' by the way. I think that were a Techy society and so whether impersonal or not – people will continue to become dependent on its use as well as embrace more gadgets and whatever technological advances come our way. 

I myself, like many others have had romantic disconnects and misunderstandings because of texting. Maybe I just didn’t mean it- the way it read. Texting is now part of the beginning stages between two people that are starting to date. Most people no longer pick up the phone and have talks early on. Most of the actual 'date plans' happen over text or email. I have to tell you that I'm not much of a phone person, so I am guilty of a whole lot of texting.

How about when we accidentally send a text to someone other than our intended recipient? Embarrassing or real trouble? There a many ways to open up a can of worms with Text Messaging but employers are getting in on the fun too. Many employers use texting- daily with their employees. You no longer have to necessarily “call in sick” to work. You can just shoot your boss a text.

Today, it would be wise to include unlimited text usage to your mobile phone’s plan but avoid those break ups.

Thanks,

Whilly Bermudez