SOCIALLY, INTELLECTUALLY, LABELING AMERICA'S CHILDREN

SOCIALLY, INTELLECTUALLY, LABELING AMERICA'S CHILDREN

Miss La Rosa-  Host / Commentator 

Labels and I don't go well together. This really annoys me especially when our children are being labeled as if we need to be classified in different ways. ADD, ADHD, AUTISTIC, ETC. We all know that our children’s minds are like computers and absorb everything at a very early age. Is giving them a label and applying it at an early age a good thing??  The only label I'm aware of is the “human being” label.

It really upsets me because I feel when there is much of a mental incapacity in a person’s brain then  there has to be an elevated level of capability in another area. Yet, we choose to focus on the incapability and hang on to that to label someone. There are many theories as to why in the past 25 years there has been an increase of one hundred and fifty percent on children labeled “learning disabled”. Some Doctors suggest too many preservatives in food, environmental causes, early over use of television or electronics. One out of ten children are labeled ADHD. Children are given medication as early as two years of age.

I personally believe there is an increasing amount of mislabeled children. Our society and the “medical community” is designed to look for what the problem is and not for whatever positives that may co-exist. Everyone is unique and has different challenges that they must face growing up and even as adults. Children vary in their learning styles and sometimes have difficulties coping with self control, information processing, self discipline. Also, there are children that are very attached to the parents before starting school and have difficulty adapting to a class setting. These children can be easily misdiagnosed.

 

I'm truly thankful for science and it's advancements to be able to help the ones that need it. I do think that before diagnosing a child their attention capabilities must be tested in a formal way. It seems like the easiest thing to do now a days is stamp biological and psychological labels on our children without considering the appropriate tests. Yes, please in all areas. Perhaps the weak points should not be our only focus.  It is known that big gifts sit right beside an incapability.

My son took long to walk. When people would ask, “Well why doesn't he walk”? I would answer because he talks full sentences. He did not tie his shoes till he was ten. When people would ask “Why doesn't he tie his shoes?” I chose to say “because he talks about space and science and we can't keep up with him. I was called when he was in second grade because of his extremely high SAT scores. His dad said in amazement “But he's always daydreaming as if he was in his own world” I answered “HE IS”. May seem weird to you because it's not your world, but it's his       :)    

  

Some famous people with ADHD: 

Will Smith, Robert Williams, Bill Cosby, Kirk Douglas, Jim Carey(Actors) 

Abraham Lincoln, Prince Charles, John F Kennedy(statesmen) 

 Pablo Picasso, Vincent Van Gogh, Ansel Adams (Artists)                     

Michael Jordan, Pete Rose, Babe Ruth, Magic Johnson (Athletes)

Benjamin Franklin, Leonardo Da Vincci, Thomas Edison(Inventors)

Sir Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein,Galileo(Scholars) 

Walt Disney, Henry Ford, (Entrepreneurs)

Thank you for reading,

                                      

The Miss La Rosa

                          

AFTER THOUGHTS BY

Whilly Bermudez-  Host / Commentator 

Interesting and important post by Miss La Rosa this morning. I can definitely understand your feeling on this topic. My feeling is that no child or any person should be discriminated against or mistreated. However, in order to provide the right instruction for a child some form of identification must take place. I mean the truth of the matter is that were not all created equal in terms of ability, mental capacity, or intellectual level. 

I do believe that all too often children may be diagnosed improperly. So the problem solver may be taking another look at how we can improve the methods that we use to evaluate kids.

Our society's reality is that labels exist for kids, grown ups, situations, and just about anything that can be socially expressed. 

Do you have a special needs child? Please comment on your thoughts below.

Thank You,

Whilly Bermudez

SMOKING. Not As Sexy As It Used To Be.

SMOKING.                                                           Not As Sexy As It Used To Be.

Whilly Bermudez - Host / Commentator

The idea that smoking is sexy probably arises from seeing Audrey Hepburn standing in front of Tiffany’s in a little black dress, her hair pulled back in a soft up-do with a long cigarette and holder in hand. This is from a 1961 film and today is real life. These days, most people slowly vacate the area when cigarette smoke is present.

I’m not going to beat around this bush… I’m not a smoker and I’m not a fan of it. However, cigar is a different story but that’s for another discussion. I think that cigarette smoking is one of the strongest turn offs in women. For some, you can be extremely attractive and even be close to complete physical perfection but you will fall very far as soon as you light up. For others (smokers), birds of a feather flock together.  I know the most common excuse people use is:  “I only smoke when I drink” well there’s a greater chance than not, that the admirer from across the room is wishing that you would have refrained.  :-) 

Without even getting into the health hazards of smoking, you could have yellow teeth, bad breath, and that stench of cigarette on your clothes. This is disgusting.   I would have to be pretty intoxicated myself to be ok with kissing a smoker. (the times that I have, I have had a few drinks)

Now you know how I feel about it, but let’s look as some survey data. In fact, I couldn’t find any research that states that “Smoking is a Turn On”.  Smoking is a major turn-off for prospective partners and can prove a real obstacle on dates, according to a new survey by American Legacy Foundation. Some 57 per cent of non-smokers don't like kissing those who indulge in the habit, while 12 per cent of smokers also say they would rather not kiss a fellow addict. In the research, commissioned by A.L.F., 2,274 people were questioned on their dating preferences and turn-offs regarding smoking. Just six percent of those questioned said they liked kissing people who smoke."Everyone knows that smoking is bad for your health, but for younger people, fears about attractiveness and fertility can be a stronger motivation to give up and stay quit," said American Legacy’s Donna Vallone. 

Dating agencies have long been aware that kicking the habit can help your chances of finding “The One”, with more and more people specifying 'non-smoker' in their dating preferences. Looking better, smelling better and having more money to spend on clothes or going out are all regularly mentioned as important factors in choosing non-smokers over smokers, according to numerous dating agencies. Let’s assume you’re married or in a relationship, so making an impression someone doesn't really matter. However, it’s still a turn off for the meaningless majority around you.  

As life has it and regardless of my opinion, research, and professional data cannot prevent the overwhelming truth: If you’re truly into the person their smoke will not keep you away. Love can disable our sense of smell, taste, and sight.

Where do you stand?

Whilly Bermudez

AFTER THOUGHTS BY:

Miss La Rosa - Host / Commentator

 WB,

One thing I admire about you is your sincerity on how you personally feel as far as what attracts you personally. I have to say that being turned off by a smoker is very personal. Some are actually attracted to smokers. Some get turned off with drinkers, nail biters, someone cleaning their teeth in public, burping, etc. I totally understand and perhaps there is something that happens to turn me off as much as smoking turns you off. When choosing someone as a partner besides the spiritual bond I do believe there has to be a physical attraction. If this is something that KILLS it for you then I would see how you would be uncomfortable with a smoker.

What happens if the habit comes after?

I was married to someone that never smoked. I was 5 months pregnant and had a terrible car accident that was close to fatal. My ex-husband experienced it all and happened to grab a cigarette at the hospital while waiting to hear if my unborn child and I would be o.k. For the rest of the pregnancy there was many uncertainties and he continued to smoke. He also fed, bathed me and cared for me and loved me perhaps the only way he knew how. Did his breathe and clothes smell like cigarette? Maybe.

I was too focused on everything else he was doing and worried about him being worried for two.   

Could it have been that cigarettes were not that much of a turn off  for me?       

I think we have a choice and our choices our personal as to what we consider turn off or turn on. Balancing the good and bad is elementary but very efficient. If we won't be able to live or tolerate something then perhaps we shouldn't even consider it. Again, I admire your Sincerity.

 Puff Puff :)

Miss La Rosa

A WHITE LIE ISN'T REALLY A LIE. IS IT?

A WHITE LIE ISN'T REALLY A LIE. IS IT?

Whilly Bermudez - Host / Commentator

In 2009 there was a song written for an episode of the hit television series ‘Lie to me’. The song was appropriately called “White Lie”. Here are some of the lyrics:

‘I say I’m ten when I’m nine and a half, my uncle tells a joke and I try to laugh, In gym I fake a headache when I want to quit, I say I love the sweater that my grandma knit, but that’s a White Lie, the one you want to tell, a White Lie so my mom wont yell’.

The rest of the lyrics go on to more short and catchy phrases. So let’s get off on an honest foot and say that we ALL tell White Lies in order to prevent conflicts or awkward situations. We say that we liked that gift when we really didn’t. We exaggerate how much weight we actually lost. We made up an excuse as to why we were late getting there. How about running into an ex boyfriend at Publix but not letting your current boyfriend know? Whether you know it or not, you’ve breached a trust.

I was mostly raised in a Catholic /Christian setting and was taught that all lies are sins and against God. If I were to write here that I had never uttered a lie, then I would most definitely be a liar; as would anyone else who chose to say those words. What exactly is the loophole we manage to wiggle through to justify to ourselves and to others that our lie was okay? But before answering, remember, 'the road to hell was paved with good intentions.'

This morning I ask you. Is an often trivial, diplomatic, or well-intentioned untruth still a Lie? Wait let me help you… Lies come in many disguises, but no matter how well intended or how we dress it, it's still a lie.     :-)

Thank you for being honest & taking the time to read, but what do you guys think?

Whilly Bermudez

AFTER THOUGHT'S BY

Miss La Rosa - Host / Commentator

WB,

I have to say that I have agreed to disagree in the past with you. On this one I agree to agree. We have all lied at some point whether it be for a good reason or not. I think some become so comfortable with the so called “little lies” that it becomes a hard habit to break. The question is who are we lying to in reality?

I believe that when we lie, we are only being untrue to ourselves. We are the ones that have to live knowing that we lied about anything. Whether it be big or small. “A lie no matter how small puts our truths in doubt”. Yes, we've all been there at some point or another and either we move forward and learn to surround ourselves with the positive OR continue to sink in our own puddle of negativity. Sometimes we lie because we feel others are doing it to us as well. I don't want to get thrown in that puddle as well. It is what it is.

Ultimately the mirror reflects who we are. Lies are conflicting with any type of advancements or growth for ourselves. The damage is done only to ourselves.

With all sincerity, Thank you all for reading.

Miss La Rosa

TEXT MESSAGING: A Break Up Tool & A World Obsession.

TEXT MESSAGING: A Break Up Tool & A World Obsession.  

Miss La Rosa - Host / Commentator

I've heard people saying how they ended a relationship via text or e-mail.  Huh? Breaking up over a Text Message??? I will be the first one to say that texting is very impersonal but ending a relationship via text is just childish. The practical uses of text messaging make sense. Specifically, when in a meeting or rushing out the door- the quickest & most convenient method to communicate is “texting.”  Technology has permitted us to be able to multitask in an incredible way.  Our busy lifestyles have become much easier with e-mail, texting, IM, etc.  I'm thankful for those means of communication but do think that our growing dependency on them is a good thing? Texting is now an ordinary part of our social lives.

I think it is great to be able to text our kids in between classes to know if they're still feeling sick or if they have any type of situation that us parents need to know about.  In fact there are stories where being able to text has actually saved someone’s life.  I was very surprised to be visiting a friend one day and her child asked her for something via text.  Even more surprising is that her son was in her same house.  This surprised me but I left thinking “how can that happen?”  The following week my son texted me, “Can I have chocolate milk?” right from his room. Are you kidding???  How far have we taken this?       

Is it our new form of communicating or is it an alternative option that we’ve become obsessed with?  I believe that nothing can substitute the sound of someone’s voice.  The tone of the voice and the way you say something makes all the difference in the world. How many times have you texted someone and they've misunderstood what you typed? Yes, I do agree that texting is a great alternative to voice communicating in ‘some instances’. My busy lifestyle calls for a lot of text messaging throughout my day. I do like to think that I know how to use it in moderation and not let it be a large factor in how I communicate in my social life.

How about driving and texting?(Let's be honest please you know most of us do it) Many different states and municipalities are fighting to pass legislation to get these laws in place. According to SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions) and Liberty Mutual Insurance Group, instant and text messaging while driving is close to reaching the same levels of drinking and driving. It’s more common and even more addictive to younger people.  

I feel texting should be appreciated as an alternative form of communication and not as the ONLY form.  There are ways we can all avoid misunderstandings, accidents, and according to some of you, even text break ups.  Perhaps keeping it simple and not getting into deep conversations via text is a bright idea.  When the subject or situation requires importance, then the lines should be short and concluded with a phone call or a set meeting for a face to face.

I’m still getting used to the practicality of texting. My young son is still debating with me on whether asking for his chocolate milk via-text is acceptable. Whatever we decide, one good thing is that it keeps us “talking” and we can clearly get our points across about it.  I can also give him a great big hug and kiss before his bed time ;)     

Thanks for reading,

Miss La Rosa

AFTER THOUGHT'S BY

Whilly Bermudez - Host / Commentator

Miss La Rosa,

Yes, millions and millions are texting. In fact, 142 Billion text messages are sent annually. 74% of all mobile phone users worldwide or 2.4 billion out of 3.3 billion phone subscribers at end of 2007 are active users of the Short Message Service. I only recently discovered that 'SMS' stands for 'Short Message Service' by the way. I think that were a Techy society and so whether impersonal or not – people will continue to become dependent on its use as well as embrace more gadgets and whatever technological advances come our way. 

I myself, like many others have had romantic disconnects and misunderstandings because of texting. Maybe I just didn’t mean it- the way it read. Texting is now part of the beginning stages between two people that are starting to date. Most people no longer pick up the phone and have talks early on. Most of the actual 'date plans' happen over text or email. I have to tell you that I'm not much of a phone person, so I am guilty of a whole lot of texting.

How about when we accidentally send a text to someone other than our intended recipient? Embarrassing or real trouble? There a many ways to open up a can of worms with Text Messaging but employers are getting in on the fun too. Many employers use texting- daily with their employees. You no longer have to necessarily “call in sick” to work. You can just shoot your boss a text.

Today, it would be wise to include unlimited text usage to your mobile phone’s plan but avoid those break ups.

Thanks,

Whilly Bermudez

TATTOOS. TURN ON or TURN OFF ?

Tattoos. 

Turn On or Turn Off? 

Whilly Bermudez - Host / Commentator

Tattoos have been part of uncivilized and civilized society for ages. Some of the first cavemen had already developed the process of penetrating the skin with colored ink.  Believe it or not, some scientists say that certain marks on the skin of the Iceman, a mummified human body dating from about 3300 B.C., are tattoos.  If that’s true, these markings represent the earliest known evidence of the practice.  Tattoos found on Egyptian and Nubian mummies date back from about 2000 B.C. and classical authors mention the use of tattoos in connection with Greeks, ancient Germans, Gauls, Thracians and ancient Britons.

Tattooing was rediscovered by Europeans when exploration brought them into contact with Polynesians and American Indians.  The word tattoo comes from the Tahitian word tattau, which means "to mark," and was first mentioned in explorer James Cook’s records from his 1769 expedition to the South Pacific.  Because tattoos were considered so exotic in European and U.S. societies, tattooed Indians and Polynesians drew crowds at circuses and fairs during the 18th and 19th centuries.  But, this is 2010 and Tattoos remain common in our current society.  They are kept famous by celebrities that wear them and reality television shows like Miami Ink and LA Ink.

Reasoning

The number of people having drawings on their bodies is increasing which leads to a rising question.  Why do so many people get tattoos?  What could the reasons be for altering their bodies and injecting themselves with ink even when it is done in a painful manner?  What could their reason be for approaching someone they do not even know and allowing him to place artwork permanently on their bodies?  Each person may have his own reason and this may be different from that of another person. Below are just some of the common motivations for why people get tattoos.

-Some people get tattoos as a form of self-expression and rebellion against the society.

-Tattoos show affiliations and connections.

-Love is another reason why people get tattoos. (They want to show and let the whole world know what they feel.)                                                                   

-Religion or religious belief.

-Some choose to have tattoos to show what happened to them and their lives.  This is their way of recalling what happened to them.  Examples of these people are prisoners who have their bodies filled with stories.  For some, those without tattoos are said to have never existed.

Stereotypes

A research conducted by Hawaii University revealed that 85% agree that having visible tattoos limit or hurt your chances of being employed.  At the University of Western Australia, they studied how children stereotype people with tattoos.  They discovered that children between 6 and 10 years of age were prone to negatively stereotyping tattooed men.  The forensic implications of this are pretty obvious.  Little kids will always think of the tattooed guy as the ‘bad guy,’ even if he didn’t commit the crime. 

Since we were children, some of us have been taught that tattoos are for “low class” people or criminals.  People and families of wealth and stature normally express great discontent for tattoos and those that bear them. 

I believe that like everything else in life, people should be evaluated on their merit and not necessarily because of the tattoo on his/her person. However, let me be clear... I'm talking about a small/average sized- 1 or two tattoos. Anything more is a whole different level which I will only somewhat understand if its a singer/performer that were talking about. Any average folk with an excess is most definitely overkill. The best practice is probably getting  a tattoo in an area of your body that is not easily visible when your wearing work clothes. 

I can attest to the fact that people with tattoos are easily judged and sometimes treated differently. When I was running for office, I would wear a polo shirt which caused my tribal tattoo to sometimes show a little bit. Well, some of the voters I would visit would stare at it and have a look of disappointment on their face. Who knows what as running through their minds.

Deciding Factors
If your'e thinking about your first one or another one, I would consider (2) main things:


1. Do you think you will still be ok with them on your body in the next 20,30,40, or 50 years? *None of my grand parents ever had one, so I cant picture too many elderly folks with tattoos. 


2. What are your future professional and career oriented goals? Would body art help or hurt your journey to success? 

So why did I get 2 of them?

I was 20 years old, I went for my first small dragon tattoo on the top of my right shoulder. I just happened to be walking by a tattoo shop in Miami Beach with a girl I was dating.  It was a decision that I made in a split second.  Several years later for reasons that I cannot recall today, I got a tribal tattoo on my right bicep.  Several months later I regretted getting it (them).

Today, I am older, wiser, and see the world in a much different light.  As a result, not only do I regret my two tattoos I think that there is nothing sexier or more attractive than a woman's bare body.  My preference is no tattoos at all.  However, if that cannot be, then 1 or 2 small ones in places not so visible is acceptable to my taste. How about for you?  If they are large, too visible, and exaggerated it diminishes the allure for me. However, for others it may be a plus for what they consider a "Turn on".

I would like to close by saying that there is a significant difference between overkill and self expression, part of what I feel is the decay of society is that we don't have any boundaries anymore. All lines are blurred and almost anything goes. We need to learn that sometimes less is more and embrace moderation. People shouldn't be so quick to judge another, but we shouldn't make it so easy for them either. A tattoo doesn't tell the whole story. 

Thank you for reading,

Whilly Bermudez






After Thought By

Miss La Rosa - Host / Commentator

Whilly,             

These topics keep getting more and more interesting as we go.  I happen to love this topic.  Again, as in all my blogs I will continue emphasizing individuality.  I like that you mention the different reasons why someone would want to get a tattoo.  I think that is the core of it all, the reason behind the decision of getting that tattoo.

I think we all want to remember or embrace certain moments in our lives.  Marking our bodies or getting a tattoo is a form of expression.  Humans act more on emotions.  At the moment, we wanted to show the passion for a passed loved one, a special memento in our life, or something so significant that led us to have it marked on our body.  Do I agree?  I agree that we all go through passionate moments whether good or bad and we should be able to express it however our individual, independent human mind lets us.  For some it is said that it serves as a healing process for something catastrophic. 

I do believe that our bodies will end up disintegrated and that the biggest tattoos are the ones we carry in our heart and souls.  Whether you decide to express it on your body or not is very personal.  I love your explanation on the history of tattoos but we've come a long way (I hope).   

Besides, nowadays, if you regret getting one, you can easily have it removed.  Either way our lives are full of experiences lived that nothing will erase.  Funny thing here is that you have two and I have none.   In time perhaps I'll get one.  I can never say never.  I DO know I won't do it just because it is a trend and therefore I won't regret it.

Thank you,

Miss La Rosa       

Identity Theft or Maintaining your True Identity in a Relationship?

How important is maintaining your true identity in a relationship?

Miss La Rosa - Host / Commentator

Many times when shopping at the supermarket or perhaps at the mall, I see a couple together.  Truth of the matter is the gentleman has a face like he's bored and was obligated at gun point to be there against his will. I say Free him! I've also seen this when a girl swears she loves football just to hang out with her partner and suddenly she pulls out a nail file and starts filing her nails in the middle of a touchdown.  How many times do we go on a date and the first topic of discussion is what we expect from our future significant partner?  This makes it easy for the person listening to those rules and regulations to just “PLAY THE ROLE.”

Playing the role to please another is not only living behind a mask but also making ourselves uncomfortable just to please another human being’s expectations.  I have seen couples living like this for many years.  In front of their wife or husband they are playing the role expected and behind their partner’s back, they can finally breathe and be themselves. Question is who are we in love with? Jekyll or Hyde?

In my opinion, one of the most important aspects of a relationship is maintaining our true identity. Identity can be easily lost because when we have a partner.  We feel we must change many aspects of our life because “now we are in a relationship” OR my boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't like that.  Then years pass us by and reality hits.  The role player realizes he/she has never been happy and the other feels he/she was a victim of a masquerade party.

I believe that loving someone is setting their soul free to be who they truly are.  As partners, we should encourage one another to reach the highest of our possible potential without limiting or interfering with our true selves.  We should not become the obstacle but more the stepping stone of our partner’s ultimate purpose.

 After any breakup it is highly recommended that we take some time off to be able to know ourselves again and know where we stand.  It is well known that at this time we are in a vulnerable stage and anything seems better than what we just had.  If we don't know who we truly are, we won't know what we're truly looking for.       

Love, trust and friendship are the greatest foundation for all relationships.  How can we obtain that if we think that relationships require us to play a certain “role.”  My father always said “Be true to Yourself.”

I close with this one of my favorite quotes:

“I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not.” Kurt Cobain

What do you think?   

Thank you for reading,

Miss La Rosa






AFTER THOUGHT'S BY

Whilly Bermudez - Host / Commentator

Miss La Rosa,

This was a good and interesting post.  I do believe that people should just be who they are… always. Unfortunately, the times we are living in have produced many character flaws in people.  Just “being you” doesn’t actually mean it is a good thing for the other person.  This is why the other person deserves a fair opportunity to see or recognize what the person in question is all about, what they stand for.

I do agree that people bring their ‘representative’ and not their true self to the party.  Actually, let’s be real about this.  I think all of us are on our best behavior at first, and then the pressure of our true selves starts to come to the surface.  As soon as we realize that someone is not for us, we really should let them know and end the progression.  It is only fair.  Lastly, everyone needs to be comfortable in their own skin and not become unhappy being someone different for the sake of another. 

God Bless,

WB