HOW SHOULD WE BRAKE UP WITH YOU?

HOW SHOULD WE BRAKE UP WITH

 YOU?

Marcos V - Host / Commentator 

Before I began my rant, I would like to express something. The Articles in this blog are opinion based and in no way shape or form am I an expert (that’s actually pretty clear). My articles are based on 'experience' and 'conversations' I’ve had throughout my adult life. Are my topics sensationalized like one reader suggested? Absolutely, what isn’t in Miami?

I ask this question to women only because it’s from my perspective as a man but I imagine it could go either way (men/women). What is the best way us men could break up with you? Is there even a right way or correct way?

I’ve always heard from my female friends, that they are disappointed in the manner which the person they were dating ended things. I always think back to my experience in relationships which says “when it’s good it’s good but when it’s bad it’s bad”. Unhappy people that aren’t acting right usually don’t exercise a “nice” or doing this they way they should.

I was recently asked by a buddy of mine how he should go about it ending this current rendezvous. I told him that there were many factors that play into it and really no two situations are alike, but I gave him a rough draft. IT WENT BADLY FOR HIM! I thought, SH*t, I screwed up by offering advice on breaking up and I knew that there isn’t a generic way and hell, there may be no right way! I know how personal and tough the break up process is, but I have often wondered what the most effective way to do such an emotionally charged and personal thing REALLY IS. I mean don’t get me wrong I know what the mature way is (being honest) and I don’t mean the text book way, but I meant more of the behind the scenes stuff.  

My experience has been, when I'm the one doing the breaking up, it never goes smoothly, and this is expected. But I wanted to get an idea of what women thought. And I know I’m being vague because there is so much involved, but I wanted to hear some dialogue so get your thoughts in order... 

TAKING IT BACK

When I was younger I admit to not doing things the right way and my immature mentality + lack of experience guided me to HORRIBLE BREAK UPS. I used to take the easy way out and act like a jerk. Obviously this is not cool, you have to look out for the other person’s feelings but you learn from it and grow as a person. As an adult I have done what I felt in my heart was right. HONESTY I assure you is the best policy. At the end of the day if you’re honest and express how you really feel even if you’re expressing things to that may hurt that person they will eventually thank you for it in the long run.  I could go on listing a bunch of possible scenarios but what I really wanted was the women’s perspective.  As they say all is fair in LOVE and WAR. ; )


There are no magic words to break up with somebody, just need a lot of civility.                            Thanks for reading.

Marcos V.

Rosie Q - Host / Commentator 

Marcos,

This topic could not come at a better time. For some reason 2010 seems to be the year for break ups. I've been approached by both men and women for advise on this topic as if I were an expert. I could say that I have had done the most breaking up rather than being broken up with. No matter what I am not an expert, it’s never easy and it really stinks to be on either side (breakupee or breakupor). Regardless if one does not see a future with the person they are with, no matter how you feel at that point in time it is an honorable action to make a decision and put an end on a relationship that in the long run is not going to work.

Sometimes the only advise I give when regarding to break ups is to use the "Band-Aid theory". This theory is just as your parents told you when you were a child. Do you remember how painful it was to remove a Band-Aid from a fresh wound? Well I am sure they advised you to pull it off as quickly as possible and not to think about it too much, because if you did you would not remove it. Well the same goes with breakups, do it quick and make an even quicker exit strategy. The more you hang around and beat around the bush the harder it will be for both parties.  

Hang in there friends,

Rosie Q

DOES NOT HAVING A LIFE MEAN THAT YOU NEED AN IMAGINARY ONE ON FACEBOOK?

YOUR IMAGINARY LIFE . . . 
ON FACEBOOK & MORE.

Rosie Q - Host / Commentator 

Ahhh Facebook, the site/place where anyone can be someone imaginary! What some may consider the best social media site ever created.  No matter what you think of it, you have to give Mark Zuckerberg credit.  He created a site where you could poke your friends from miles and miles away, while posting pictures of yourself 20 pounds less than what you really are now.  You can create a profile that reflects more that of your successful cousin than that of yours, while constantly posting and advising friends of the fabulous places and people you are supposedly "hanging" with.

Facebook is a very powerful tool, more than one could ever imagine.  It gives you the power to make others believe anything you may possibly want them to believe and to BE who you want to be.  With the simple click of a mouse, you can create an entire fictitious life that many may even envy.  Facebook is the source to communicate with friends, family, colleagues and co-workers but most importantly it is a tool to promote "yourself."  This site gives you the opportunity to be that social butterfly you might not have the courage to be in reality.

We've all been in the situation at least once where we have contacted someone over Facebook whom we wouldn't normally have the courage to come up to in person.  But on Facebook, you could poke, request, post a message on their wall or more discretely write an email without the embarrassment of being shut down.  Granted, you might not receive an email or post in return, but heck, it definitely beats not to be embarrassed in person.

However, many consider Facebook the most childish and impersonal means of communication.  Of course, those are the people who are left out on all the great news and upcoming events such as "High School Reunions,” Surprise Birthday Parties, Holiday Shopping Sprees, Private Affairs and the occasional Networking Events.  Some of these folks even argue that Facebook has damaged their relationships, ran out of new wardrobe, created conflicts with their line of work, established contacts with stalkers, etc.

Business owners are now using Facebook as a source to do background checks on potential employees or on their current employees.  Many have lost their jobs, or the possibility of a position, simply due to the images and information featured on Facebook.  One must really think twice about how they are really placing themselves out there and the reputation they are selling with the information and images posted on sites such as Facebook.  While trying to prove your wild side to those old college and high school friends, you just might be trying to impress the wrong crowd, potentially branding yourself as an immature party-goer rather than a young professional with a free-spirit and networking ability.

Ever since the beeper era, short-hand, codes and/or abbreviations have been in style and used to communicate.  However, more and more new abbreviations are being created each day, slowly but surely moving away from proper grammar and spelling when writing.  Facebook has been one of the many sources that has permitted the continuous use of abbreviations.  This may well take away from the image that you withhold, reflecting the inner immaturity rather than the professionalism and stability in ones image.  Abbreviations such as FML, BIFFLES, ILY, BFF, etc. are just a few of those used by young Facebookers.  Many may feel that these abbreviations reflect the hip and outgoing side in actuality, they are a turn off to many.

All in all, Facebook gives you the power, the tool and the right to be anyone you want.  To express your most artificial and sometimes most honest thoughts, while branding yourself whether it is an improvement or not.  It has become one of, if not the most, important tool of communication and will continue to grow through time without a doubt.  It will continue to create envy, strengthen friendships and establish long distance relationships.

THANK YOU FOR READING!

ROSIE Q

AFTER THOUGHT'S BY

Marcos V - Host / Commentator 

Mrs. Q,

Your article was very informative and echoes what a lot of people think. It’s interesting how you point out that anyone can pretend to be someone they’re not on Facebook or on social media. Going further, you also identify how to recognize the immature or younger Facebook audience. First allow me to comment on the “Imaginary” portion of your article because i feel it's the most vital.

Many times I’ve seen how people on Facebook post status updates that are simply not true. They give updates that make them look like they have a great life and have achieved the stature of a celebrity, millionaire, CEO, or a sought after super model. They post updates like: “Chilling on the Yacht” (when they’re really home playing domino's), “Life is Good /I Love my life” (when they’re really at odds with the family & dealing with an emotional breakup), “Can’t wait for my photo shoot-my agent is soooo excited” (when it’s some sleazy photographer from Facebook that’s taking the photos for his perverted collection), “What a view from my room (with photo uploaded)” (when he/she uploaded the beautiful scenery of the rocky mountains from google). Yes, the list goes on about Imaginary lives and their social deceit.

Let me end today’s commentary with ‘how to recognize the youngsters on Facebook’. I do want to point out that the younger audience is entitled to their silly sayings, clichés, jersey shore references, and acronyms. (Just like we did when we were 25 & under). So here’s what gives it away:

1.    

        FML (Fuck My Life)  *Not only is this immature to use but it’s kind of negative as you’re cursing your entire existence.   Adults use: “What a bad day, what a mess, I can’t believe this happened”

2.     BFF / BIFFLES  (Best Friend) *It’s just very childlike and not something a grown person would use)    Adults use: “my close friend, my good friend, etc.

3.     ROFL (Rolling on the floor laughing) *LOL –Laugh out Loud should be sufficient. Anything further is overkill. Adults use: “LOL, That was funny”, or HAHAHA.”

4.     SYMBOLS & SHORTCUTS (Typing words by using crazy symbols & shapes or making abbreviations that simply do not exist) *Adults just don’t do that.

So those are some of the basic indicators of recent high school grads. Yes, there are several more but we will cover them in another future topic. For now, I understand the Facebook community a lot better and I hope you do too. 

Moral of my story... I rather you be a little immature than to just be a lie. Be young, be old, but be yourself. 

Thanks for reading & God Bless,

Marcos V 

Women’s Quest for “Mr. Right”

Women’s Quest for “Mr. Right”

Marcos Viñas - Host / Commentator 

I will keep this topic short and leave room for your minds to reach the place in which I will lead you. How long have you been on the Quest? For many years I have heard the expression from women: “I’m looking for “Mr. Right", and more frequently, as I've gotten older, women tend to use  this phrase with glowing eyes and they sort of gaze into the horizon as if picturing the perfect guy. I know my way around this city and I’ve had quite a few conversations with women on this topic and I can say with certainty that there are a lot of ladies out there claiming to be disillusioned with the men in this city. Well here’s the deal ladies, let me say this; I think most women don't even have a clue as to who Mr. Right is or could be. Let's face it, I don't mean all of you, but the vast majority in this town (Miami) and in all other lands too- end up with Mr. Wrong.

Somewhere along the way you meet Mr. Wrong (aka Mr. Douche) and fall  head over heels for the guy that treats you the worst! You even get in fight with some close friends & family just to be with him. And the kicker? 
You wise up a little bit, some time passes by, you finally end up meeting some nice guy that's well mannered, respectful, and acts like a true gentleman and you come with this phrase "he's just too nice". WHAT DOES THAT MEAN EXACTLY?

When asked what you’re looking for, here are some of the answers:

-Tall
-Good looking
-In shape
-Funny
-Good job
-Smart
-Good personality
-Stable
-Good heart

Great, that sounds like a winner to most people! Hmmm but not to you? So you found a more than decent guy with the above mentioned qualities. But you don't want the guy that sends flowers after a nice date or the guy that treated you with respect and didn't try to sleep with you on the first date. You prefer the guy that doesn't call in a week or so, the guy who will call you and give you all the excuses in the book (as to why his girl cousin is in town this week, but you know it’s not his cousin) He will probably mistreat you because you don’t sleep with him right away. And that list of bad things goes on…  

There are men out there that if given the chance, will treat you like queens but I bet some women will find that corny. Instead they want the guy that ends up breaking their hearts. I've been both of those men, but I'd rather stick to my good upbringing and remain the guy who maybe looked as the nice guy, but I will always have class. Honestly, until you can learn to notice what real standards are, your quest will be a long one.

Your thoughts?

Thanx for reading,

Marcos V

AFTER THOUGHT'S BY:

Rosie Q - Host / Commentator 

Marcos,

You bring up very good points when it comes to women's "endless" quest for Mr. Right. First off living in this city (Miami), it becomes very difficult to look beyond looks. Let's face it Miami is a city where its people are beautiful and many times (without trying to generalize) materialistic. I too have heard many friends say how they are looking for Mr. Right while they stare into the horizon...Snap Snap! That would be my fingers snapping them right back to reality, there is no such thing as Mr. Right, and just when you think you found the "prince on the white horse" he falls off it and lands on the woman next to him. It’s all about the perspective for which you see it. What seems to be Mr. Right to you is definitely Mr. Wrong for me.

I agree with you on the idea that women find nice guys as the weaker link, realistically speaking there is nothing "hotter" than a good pursuit. Come on, a challenge is always more exciting. You know what I mean... that thrill of waiting by the phone to see if he'll finally call after a week of waiting, the intrigue of whether or not he finds you to be irresistible, or after the first date wondering if he is dating others or if you are the only one in his life. It’s part of the game we all fall into and play at some point in our lives...

I think that we all have to go through those "not so good" guys or "Mr. Wrongs" to then realize one day what Mr. Right really means to us. What Mr. Right once seemed to be 6'2 with blue/green eyes, entrepreneur with a stable income and who drives himself around town in a bright red corvette...may now be placed on the back burner. It took us to believe in that fictitious man to then one day realize the Mr. Right was really the 5'11, hopeless romantic with deep brown eyes and with the goal of eventually having the "whole concept" of a home with a white picket fence while sharing it with the woman of his dreams. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that the 6'2, blue/green eyed entrepreneur ends up being someone else's Mr. Right eventually but realistically you discovered that he is not your Mr. Right. 

Keep it up Marcos, I guarantee you that class and your good upbringing is definitely on someone’s list of essentials on their quest to find Mr. Right!!!!

Great Blog & Thanks for letting me share,

Rosie Q