Women’s Quest for “Mr. Right”
Marcos Viñas - Host / Commentator
I will keep this topic short and leave room for your minds to reach the place in which I will lead you. How long have you been on the Quest? For many years I have heard the expression from women: “I’m looking for “Mr. Right", and more frequently, as I've gotten older, women tend to use this phrase with glowing eyes and they sort of gaze into the horizon as if picturing the perfect guy. I know my way around this city and I’ve had quite a few conversations with women on this topic and I can say with certainty that there are a lot of ladies out there claiming to be disillusioned with the men in this city. Well here’s the deal ladies, let me say this; I think most women don't even have a clue as to who Mr. Right is or could be. Let's face it, I don't mean all of you, but the vast majority in this town (Miami) and in all other lands too- end up with Mr. Wrong.
Somewhere along the way you meet Mr. Wrong (aka Mr. Douche) and fall head over heels for the guy that treats you the worst! You even get in fight with some close friends & family just to be with him. And the kicker?
You wise up a little bit, some time passes by, you finally end up meeting some nice guy that's well mannered, respectful, and acts like a true gentleman and you come with this phrase "he's just too nice". WHAT DOES THAT MEAN EXACTLY?
When asked what you’re looking for, here are some of the answers:
-Tall
-Good looking
-In shape
-Funny
-Good job
-Smart
-Good personality
-Stable
-Good heart
Great, that sounds like a winner to most people! Hmmm but not to you? So you found a more than decent guy with the above mentioned qualities. But you don't want the guy that sends flowers after a nice date or the guy that treated you with respect and didn't try to sleep with you on the first date. You prefer the guy that doesn't call in a week or so, the guy who will call you and give you all the excuses in the book (as to why his girl cousin is in town this week, but you know it’s not his cousin) He will probably mistreat you because you don’t sleep with him right away. And that list of bad things goes on…
Your thoughts?
Thanx for reading,
Marcos V
AFTER THOUGHT'S BY:
Rosie Q - Host / Commentator
Marcos,
You bring up very good points when it comes to women's "endless" quest for Mr. Right. First off living in this city (Miami), it becomes very difficult to look beyond looks. Let's face it Miami is a city where its people are beautiful and many times (without trying to generalize) materialistic. I too have heard many friends say how they are looking for Mr. Right while they stare into the horizon...Snap Snap! That would be my fingers snapping them right back to reality, there is no such thing as Mr. Right, and just when you think you found the "prince on the white horse" he falls off it and lands on the woman next to him. It’s all about the perspective for which you see it. What seems to be Mr. Right to you is definitely Mr. Wrong for me.
I agree with you on the idea that women find nice guys as the weaker link, realistically speaking there is nothing "hotter" than a good pursuit. Come on, a challenge is always more exciting. You know what I mean... that thrill of waiting by the phone to see if he'll finally call after a week of waiting, the intrigue of whether or not he finds you to be irresistible, or after the first date wondering if he is dating others or if you are the only one in his life. It’s part of the game we all fall into and play at some point in our lives...
I think that we all have to go through those "not so good" guys or "Mr. Wrongs" to then realize one day what Mr. Right really means to us. What Mr. Right once seemed to be 6'2 with blue/green eyes, entrepreneur with a stable income and who drives himself around town in a bright red corvette...may now be placed on the back burner. It took us to believe in that fictitious man to then one day realize the Mr. Right was really the 5'11, hopeless romantic with deep brown eyes and with the goal of eventually having the "whole concept" of a home with a white picket fence while sharing it with the woman of his dreams. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that the 6'2, blue/green eyed entrepreneur ends up being someone else's Mr. Right eventually but realistically you discovered that he is not your Mr. Right.
Keep it up Marcos, I guarantee you that class and your good upbringing is definitely on someone’s list of essentials on their quest to find Mr. Right!!!!
Great Blog & Thanks for letting me share,
Rosie Q
A cute baldy as part of this ensemble too? Que lindo!
ReplyDeleteI must say I enjoyed the topic and the comments.
ReplyDeleteHe was my best friend for 5 years before I even "saw" him. Mr right exists, we just need to stop settling for all the Mr wrongs. Good luck to all ladies (and guys) on the pursuit of love and happiness.
ReplyDeleteI think society has had a major influence on women on Who "Mr.Right" should be, and women and men forget that we all are individuals, meaning what’s good for me is not neccssarialy good for someone else. Obviously there has to be some kind of physical attraction that needs to come into play. Ladies should know that the Hot good looking guy with a huge income driving the red corvette is usually Mr. Douche nowadays, because he meets all the requirements that society has shoved in her face. Mr. Right is probably the guy right under her nose who knows her very well and has earned her trust, confidence and been a steady fixture in her life. now that doesn’t mean all girls should try dating their best friends, but half the time it turns out that Mr. Right was there the whole time and she wasn’t smart enough to pick up on that notion.
ReplyDeleteB.P.
Wow! all these posts are great. At the end of the day though it's true. We all fantasize about Mr. Right and always end up with the opposite or have him but think he's not right enough. "The grass is not always greener on the other side". One thing that does hold true is that we have become so materialistic not all women, but the majority. Mr. Right is no longer the guy who treats us with respect, who is loyal and a gentleman. Even though those are on the verge of extinction. Mr. Right is now the guy who has a big bank account, lives in Star Island and drives a masserati. That guy because of his lifestyle in turn wants a 100 pound 22 year old stick with a pair of double D's, or maybe a couple of those. So ladies be alert just because his bank account isn't big now doesnt mean it never will be. If he fits all the other IMPORTANT requirements, together with sacrifice and love you can make the bank account grow. In the end you can have your cake and eat it too.
ReplyDeleteWaited all my life for the one. Getting married in Feb. Its worth the wait ladies. Always be a true lady of god.
ReplyDeleteI think he exists, just haven't met him =(
ReplyDeleteMarcos your points are very valid; unfortunately, to a certain extent, woman are masochist...we love the chase, the thrill of the quest!! It's part of human nature, so when the "good guy" comes along we tend to over look him. With that said, we have to go thru all those Mr. Wrongs to finally realize who is "our" Mr. Right and then can completely open the door to let him in with all his corniness and devotions! When your priorities are sorted out and in due time you finally realize what works for you, makes you happy and keeps your life balanced, then and only then will you open yourself to the possibility. However, once you do, then all those Mr. Rights tend to disappear! So in retrospect, could it be that Mr Right “Also” loves a challenge, and when the woman is ready and available then the quest is no longer an option?? Let me post this question to you!! Why is Miss Right so often ALSO overlooked??? A man meets a smart, attractive (and by attractive I don’t mean, 36,28,36...or plastic surgery galore) independent, genuine woman with good morals and all her priorities screwed on right; yet, she is just as the “Good Guy” not good enough!! I believe, like everything in life, it is all about timing and God’s plan for us. We have to kiss a lot of frogs to find just the right prince and once we do and the timing is just right, then it will last forever. Your thoughts??? Mildrey
ReplyDeleteMarcos,
ReplyDeleteI can't help but feel that your post was just effort to sensationalize the topic more than express your actual thoughts on the subject. I find it hard to believe that you REALLY think that women want to be treated like sh*t. I mean, REALLY?!? And Nice guys are the weakest link?? Seriously?!? Let's just say, I disagree.
What I would like to elaborate on is that at the very core of this need for Mr./Ms. Right is the fact that we are still looking for someone else to COMPLETE us, rather than being complete and whole all on our own. This is why we focus so much on what the other person is and what they are bringing to the table, instead of focusing on who WE are and what WE bring to the table. When you are self-sustained, all the BS falls away. All the extrinsic qualities of a person become irrelevant. Then, and ONLY then, can you see yourself and everyone else for who they truly are.
You only attract what you are people... YOU have to be Mr./Ms. Right by being intrinsically complete and whole. Then maybe Mr./Ms. Right will find you. ;-)
Love and Blessings <3
Mr. Right doesn't exist, just as Ms. Right is non-existent. These are fallacies that our society has instilled into our perception of what our reality should be or is. Our ideals of a "Right" person are nothing more than what we feel is a valid metaphor for what propaganda we see in our everyday lives. I think for women in our day and age, more than anything it has to do with sentimental value rather than with a physical one.
ReplyDeleteJust as our laws of attraction vary based on our societal stature in this world.
It has been proven that women tend to be attracted to confidence which in turn may be directly attached to the "bad boy" persona. On a scientific note, research has shown that women seek these types of alpha males as a means to pro-create and to also seek security. As part of our genetic make up, these traits were utilized with our caveman ancestors as women always instinctively were attracted to those who were able to provide shelter, food and water. Usually this meant the stronger male, the hunter, the killer who overcame obstacles in order to provide for his tribe.
Mr. Right should not be a part of a quest nor should it mean waiting years to find someone who meets a certain type of criteria that in the end can be as irrelevant as a piece of rock. My advice for women is this: Do not seek Mr. Right, look for Mr. Average, Mr. OK., Mr. So-So, Mr. Quirky but most importantly seek: Mr. Respectful, Mr. Romantic, Mr. Idealistic.
There are men out there who would love nothing more than to sweep you off your feet and treat you with all the love that you deserve.
I hear many times people in general a statement that becomes a trend very similar to waiting for Mr. Right: "I am waiting for my soulmate".
I have learned that it is better to strive to BE the perfect soulmate or Mr. Right.
Rice Vand Dammage
With any women that tells you they are looking for “Mr. Right", as they with glowing eyes gaze into the horizon as if picturing the perfect guy are in fact a bit unbalanced and quite possibly a stage 5 clinger... i suggest RUN! But really most women as with most men do not have the slightest clue what they are really looking for until its right in their face. Everyone goes through Mr. Douche and Ms. Bitch because in some twisted way both sexes are a bit masochistic. But once you get passed the high of the chase your left with a defense mechanism set in place for people who are scared of commitment and/or showing their vulnerability to someone who may take advantage of them, and thus will never go for someone they would fall irrevocably in love with, to save themselves future suffering of a broken heart. To some this seems much easier than compromise, trust, uncertainty, change, and all the ups and downs that come with a relationship. Thats taking the easy way out. But just to say people like the abuse? I think not.
ReplyDeleteAnd to say all good guys finish last... well women have the same feeling towards men. Many women feel that if you dont act like a bitch its tough to get a real reaction. Not to mention getting run over and taken for a fool. Not to generalize because I for one still hope their are men out there that can be treated like 'kings' and not take it for granted. And i do not feel chivalry is dead but it is far and few between.
In essence all good things come to those who wait... If you have an open mind and heart, that missing piece is sure to find its place.
You say Mr. Right, I say Mr. Rice.
ReplyDeleteListen Ladies and Gents, allow me to draft something up RIGHT quick- pun intended. I lived in MIA for 4 years and was single for those four years. I swore to myself that i couldnt find a damned girl because she didnt have the IT (the core characteristics mot important to me)? I went on countless dates with an eclectic bunch of Skallies but couldnt commit worth a damn. Why? I dont know, I always had some excuse. Moving to NYC I started to meet more girls, who seemed to be a different breed than las mujeres de Miami, but again, I had some lame ass excuse. I realize now, however, that im just not r_ _ _y...
My point: timing. For those of you looking, dont; let it happen, let it be. when that general wrong*italicized* person comes along, and youre finally ready, he will be right*italicized!
Ladies, if you revert back to your rolodex of guys you've dated over the years, I will bet my left Havayanna slipper that there is one that you have been with that was an amazing guy and timing was off.
My advice: one day the timing will be right, for now just go with the flow. The next guy you meet may or may not be the next Rice Vandammage. If he is, great. If not, thats ok too. Juzt live your lif3 one day at a time!!
;)
Best,
Mr. Lemon