2010 Is Completely Yours (PART 2)

2011 Is Completely Yours

Part 2

It means that you believe that you can change, that you will not indulge in self blame or make excuses, that you will not wishful think and concentrate solely or your results. It means that you understand your motivation and the reasons why your resolutions are important. They are a part of you. You are an important investment and important investments require time. By investing your time effort you are sure to be successful. Focus on one thing at a time acknowledge distractions but be sure to move forward.

Designate a friend or mentor to share your success stories with. Research indicates that those who are successful at making changes have excellent support systems. Many of those who make resolutions never tell others about them. Consciously or subconsciously, that way if they fail no one will view them as a failure. Communicating your resolution and intentions actually increases your accountability to the behavior. From the very beginning it is important to share your objectives and goals with those around you so that you can enlist their support. Knowing that you are accountable to someone other than yourself will help to keep you on track.

Be very persistent. Don't give up! Don't surrender to temptation, difficulty or temporary failure. Persist until you achieve the goal. Last but certainly not least, cultivate personal integrity and commitment. This is the very oxygen that you will need to cross that finish line of accomplishment. The seeds and flowers of achieving any resolution are invariably the same; neither the size of the resolution nor the person achieving it matters. Successful New Year's Resolutions consist of a clear purpose. I hope you have that pen and paper handy.

For a dream to become a goal, it must be specific. Being thin is an image, losing 10 pounds by March 1 is a true resolution. Be clear on what you want to achieve. Make a New Year's Resolution that you have a real, bona fide intention of keeping. The truth is most people have not made a genuine, serious, no-kidding-around-I-really-mean-to-do-this New Year's Resolution! Put it in writing. Describe precisely what you want, how you will earn it, when you will have it, and the benefits you'll receive from achieving your resolution. Write the details, but don't make it complex. When you put it in writing, you increase your chances of moving to the next step and increasing your level of commitment. Your mind, while blessed with permanent memory, is cursed with lousy recall. Writing your resolution goes a long way towards achieving it.

Commit yourself, I cannot stress this enough. Commitment is essential and habitual. Be consistent. Consistency is the heartbeat of your goal.  I wish for you a New Year of health, wealth, and happiness. May you give yourself many gifts to include: gifts of LOVE, PATIENCE, and FAITH. I encourage you to pursue your resolutions with open arms and to believe deeply in yourself and your ability to enjoy the rewards of resolutions and dreams achieved.

 

2011 Will Be Yours!

STAR ROMAN
  

2011 Is Completely YOURS

2011 Is Completely Yours
Part I

Overwhelmed" Party of one, your table is now available.

Star Roman-  Host / Commentator


I know its early in the week but its never to late to look straight forward towards the new year and all its potential...


"Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right"                        - Oprah Winfrey


Deep breaths I tell myself, the world has become so heavy. Sometimes outer things consume us. We are overwhelmed. We are visiting or being visited by family and friends for the holidays and we are pulled in so many directions. Were ready to embrace the New Year with our list of resolutions for 2011! What is good about the dawn of a New Year is that it gives us an incentive to 'start again', to discard the bad habits of the previous year and to begin afresh. In my case we might resolve to meditate more assiduously. Others may chose to be more tolerant of others, to develop a greater to kindness in challenging situations, to resolve to follow more consistently, to give more freely, and to be more focused on what is really important in life.
(Read that last one again. Read it several times)

New Year's resolutions are all about mental and physical health. It's about that wise voice within that knows what's best, urging us onward. It is that voice that talks to us. It is the thought behind the thought. It is a voice we should learn to listen to all the time and not just at the turning of the year. We are all a little overwhelmed. We have kids that are in school, little ones teething, and a home to keep cleaned and organized. We have our selves to keep stunning and amazingly refreshed. We have careers, jobs; we have so much to do. Where did the year go?  It's not easy saying goodbye to 2010 is it? Especially since it feels like we just said "Hello" to it.  Take five minute to reflect on the year 2010. Then follow these steps.

Here is "Star's" little recipe for making New Year's resolutions and keeping true to them and to your self. Like the great Sam Cooke said: "A Change is Gonna Come" Find a quite spot and grab a pen and paper. Close your eyes, and envision yourself embracing the 12 months doing exactly what you want to be doing, alongside those that you want to spend time with, where nothing is limited to you by circumstances. You are unbreakable. Write down all that you wish to accomplish. It does not matter what, everything counts.

Pre-contemplation: The desire to change is vague. This is a good time to seek information and ask your self some important questions for example "Just suppose this is as good as it gets? What can you do to more fully experience and appreciate the beauty of your life right now?"

Contemplation: Weigh the benefits of change. This is a time to get specific, to monitor behavior.

Preparation: Begin making small changes. Redirect your energy. Now's the time to tell family and friends that "A change is gonna come." This is the time to make a firm commitment.

Take Action: Banish and sacrifice vices while embracing and committing to new virtues. At this point, give yourself all the help and support you can by creating a sense of accountability to others. Encourage family and friends to push you.

Maintenance: This is the challenging part. You're finished with your old habit and into your new life. It is a lot easier to maintain your resolution than it is to regain it. Do your self a monumental favor and stay focused on WHY you set this resolution in the first place!




Stay Tuned for Part 2 Tomorrow ...


STAR ROMAN
 

WHAT ARE YOU REALLY LOOKING FOR IN A GUY?

Romance and an Interesting Conversation on WHAT ARE YOU REALLY LOOKING FOR IN A GUY?

Star Roman-  Host / Commentator

My close friends often ask, "What do you look for in a guy?" This is a very interesting question that I've given a lot of thought to lately. After much deliberation, I've finally narrowed it down. In this fine process of elimination, I have noted that a very big part of this question is that it is really about me. What am I looking for in a guy?

Aside from the natural things that every human being should be equipped with like loyalty and honesty is also the ability to able communicate and to be understanding. Those are the essentials to successful relationships in general. So am I looking for this in “a guy” of course and not just in guys, I’m expecting those things in everyone.

I’m not the perfect fit therefore I’m not looking for the perfect fit. I want a mirror. Show me everything that is holding me back. Bring me to my own attention so I can make the changes I need to make in my life. Be the most important person that I have ever met. Tare down my walls and help me awaken from my dream state.

People come into our lives and they help us reveal another layer of ourselves. So shake me up, show me my obstacles and my addictions, carve your way into my heart and show me a higher state of consciousness.

I’m looking for the reality of the present moment not for the rulebook of intimacy because maybe there are no rules. Perhaps, those will have to be defined as we go along.

I’m looking for romance and interesting conversation.  I am looking for a grounded person with meaningful foundation and a strong desire for life.

I don’t care if I need to stay up crying all night long. Stay up with me. Protect me until I die. Be stronger than my bad days, and braver than my lonely ones. Don't let anything exhaust you please, especially me.

Celebrate with me in my successes. Be supportive of my goals and dreams. Have your own goals and dreams and look forward to celebrating in their success. That’s what I’m looking for in a guy. I’m not looking to be rescued. 

Honesty, loyalty and understanding- those are a given. What are you about? What moves you? What would you like to experience with “the one”. Come on- our relationships often fail because too often we settle for things that should be given from the very beginning. And how can we expect magic if we are merely settling for traits that should be given?

In the infamous words of Carrie Bradshaw: “I am looking for love, real love. Ridiculous, consuming, can’t live without each other love”

What are you really looking for in a guy?             

Thanks For Reading Beautiful People!

Star Roman

A Mystery Note Found on a Windshield. DAYDREAMING

A Mystery Note Found on a Windshield... DAYDREAMING

Star Roman-  Host / Commentator 

Dear Love,

I missed you today when I awoke from my slumber only to find my heart empty and my eyes still tired. My dreams are slowly becoming as I sleepwalk steadfast throughout my day wondering how you are. And they are most definitely bittersweet, like the rest of me.

I’m a little scared. I know I shouldn’t say that. Although I will admit it is a thought that frequently visits the back of my mind lately. I shouldn’t feel this way, I know and that isn’t even the hardest part; the hardest part is that I did this knowingly. You have somehow changed me and I am not sure what that means exactly. I certainly do not know you long enough to feel this way but I certainly do long to know you better perhaps, because I enjoy you deeply. I’m not good at relationships. You make me feel uncertain, awkward, weird, vulnerable and a few other things that I’m too prude to write.

There are so many reasons why I shouldn’t tell you this: I have left the broken wreckage of relationships behind me. I couldn’t stand to ever hurt you and though I am very concerned that you will hurt me I have taken the chance and fallen anyway. I hope you can forgive me.

Love,

Your Muse. (I’m flattered)

-STAR ROMAN

LOVE THAT WE CANNOT HAVE is the one that lasts the longest.

Love that we cannot have is the one that lasts the longest.

Star Roman - Host / Commentator

Love that we cannot have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest...

Have you ever felt a strong connection with someone that you could not explain?  Sometimes, I wonder if we are looking for this person our whole lives. Sometimes I wonder if they have a special mission, or influence in the things that we choose to do. Are they the people that you meet along the way that help you creating some sort of balance?  Is it someone you love, and would do anything for? Someone who loves you, and would do anything for you? And in that love, nothing is required for either person, because everything is already given?

I wonder and I know a lot of us do. Did you know that originally it is said that we were made of four arms, four legs and one head with two faces. The Greek Gods feared our power and split us all in half, and condemned us to spend the rest of our lives searching for that other half that completes us. I’m trying to understand this concept. So this implies that we are incomplete beings wandering the universe minus our counterpart with hopes that we will meet them to complete us. And if we don’t, what happens?

Do we experience a life that is not how it should be for lack of finding that other half? What if, we meet someone who “appears” to be our other half, only to find out later, that they are not? How about if our perspective on life changes, and we decide that what interested us before does no longer. How about if we grow internally and we find that all this time we were soul searching within. Like caterpillars, experiencing life only to reach an inactive pupal stage. We really don’t know what to expect. Then one day we realize that all that we experience was conditional to a spectacular metamorphosis where we emerged stunning, and with a new perspective waiting to be. I don’t think that this outcome depends on an external missing person. 

I have felt a connection with someone many, many times. And as I go through my own metamorphosis there are a lot of people that I connect with. Do they define me, not really? Do they complete me, no? You see I think that we are born unto this world and we experience life, waiting to become something great like butterflies. The people that we meet along the way are there to enhance our journey, heighten our experience.  They are not our broken omitted half. I don’t think that we can have a missing half, when we were never whole to begin with. As we live and learn we become whole, we become great. We are not looking for a soul mate. We are imperfect, we are supposed to be. What about the Greek Gods? We will never know. Do I think we were condemned to living an empty life of searching for this missing part that complete us, no. Maybe, we were split from the half that was holding us back.  We are free to believe what we want.

I choose to believe that we are imperfect souls, going through the metamorphosis of life meeting people that we connect with to make this path that we are on memorable, magical and triumphant. This is a mystical life that we live. Our expectations of it should not depend on the limitations of the outer world. It should come from that strong force from within that pushes our very existence to have and be all that we desire. Other people that are in our path should not be factor on the outcome of our aspirations. We have unbounded potential. We just have to tap into it, liberate our self from conditions and be true to ourselves. We have all that we need, imperfections and all. Love yourself, love your life.

Love is life and if you miss love well, you miss life- Leo Buscaglia

Thanks for reading,

Star Roman

Are Healthy Relationships & Healthy Diets Really That Different?

Are Healthy Relationships & Healthy Diets really that different? 

Star Roman - Host / Commentator

Sometimes you can't help but to fall for the impossible mate or the dessert tray, but does either have a healthy outcome? Is it possible to have both- the excitement of the naughty with the benefit of the nice?

Yesterday I was thinking about that question, as I sat getting sun at 1 in the afternoon listening to Coltrane and sipping XXX Acai-blueberry- pomegranate Vitamin Water. Is it possible to have our cake, and skip the whole baking process and calories? Living in the 21^st century and seeing how some of the things that we never thought possible now are, makes me think that we can have it all.  When we were kids we were taught that as we grew unto our adolescence we could be anything that we wanted. (As long as it wasn't something like a drag queen or prostitute.) Okay, they didn't tell us that part but it was somewhere between the "don't drink and drive and be home by 2 am"- And of course none of us ever broke those rules right? Mhm.  

So what is a healthy relationship? What were we taught a healthy relationship is to be? Is it a relationship of love, trust, understanding, fun, and reality? One where no one gets hurt and the present moment always prevails?  It very well may be. Is it a surreal connection with a trusted unattainable soul mate that you never though could possibly exists? Where you understand that you can't have it all so you settle for the comfort of the familiar for fear of the unknown? The truth is that we justify to ourselves the things that we want to have or do; even though they may not always be the "healthy" choice.

How many times have you started a diet and lost weight only to gain it all back once you divert from the path of dietary righteousness?  I know I have many, many times. It is hard to understand moderation when you restrict yourself from the things that you really want to have.  If you don't believe me, practice restriction for one hour and respond to this blog with your results. The moment you tell yourself you can't have something, you find that you will give that something God like qualities to justify your need or want for it. It is inevitable. Still, no answer to my question- I am still left wondering- Is a healthy relationship and a diet really that different.

So, this is what I came up with: Moderation, being within reasonable limits- not excessive or extreme. It is okay to fall for the death by chocolate or interesting best friend, as long as we understand moderation. That is a definite maybe, I think. We have to see the consequences before we say "Life's too short, eat the chocolate" or "Tomorrow we'll go back to being friends". < < Say Goodbye Lyrics by Dave Mathews Band, Great Song- Rockin Band)

 I am sure that there will be bad times, where mistakes will be made and decisions will become unclear and unsure. These are the facets of our lives from which we draw experiences and learn from. The excitement of the naughty is within all of us, so is the benefit of the nice. If we are nice to our bodies we will benefit from a long healthy life full of vigor and enthusiasm. If we drink 8 Bellini's and smoke 2 packs of Marlboro Ultra Lights three days a week and go to sleep in the morning… Well, you get it.

I thought to myself moderation as I tossed the Vitamin Water and reached for the sun block.

Thanks for reading,

Star Roman