SHOULD COUPLES LIVE TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE?
I hope my teenage daughter isn’t reading this because although we all prefer for our daughters to get married before living with someone- I have to disagree. After having someone live with me and learning how everyone has little differences, pepeeves, and ways of doing things within a home, it’s clear that it’s a good idea to learn some of those things first. Knowing the who, how, and when of your significant other is key to success. In my opinion, this is how you can identify what you can or cannot live with. What do you say?
It's undeniable that marriage and relationships in general look nothing like they did 40 years ago. What's happened? Women's lib, skyrocketing divorce rates, the death of the nuclear family -- and that's just for starters. The whole game has changed.
Sometimes I think that each generation exhibits a reactionary trend to their predecessors.
I am part of the "divorced parents" era. About 60 percent of all people I meet my age come from broken homes. While this phenomenon didn't necessarily make us "anti-marriage," it has certainly made us "marriage cautious" or "marriage disillusioned."
I know the statistics -- if I ever do tie the knot, I know it ain't gonna be all sunshine and roses. And that's why I plan to be as sure as I can possibly, possibly be.
Before I exchange any vows, I've made a vow to myself: I MUST live with someone before I marry them. I'm not alone in this thinking. About 70 percent of couples are cohabiting before marriage these days, according to research from the University of Denver.
When people say, "You never really know someone until you live with them," they are speaking the damn truth.
I realize that there are also opponents of this belief, primarily in the religious arena of society. However, I think you ultimately have to do what you feel will produce the best course of action and its results. Be happy and try to make the least amount of mistakes as possible. ;)
Cheers!
WHILLY BERMUDEZ
Catch 22.... but at least they will find out if they can actually live together... Sometimes after marriage it can be too late to find out there are quirks from your partner you will never be able to live with.
ReplyDeleteAtleast for a year. People change when they live together, whether they realize it or not. It's then when you come to terms of comprimising on and if you want to.
ReplyDeleteYES!!!!! If she has some kind of voodoo ritual in the morning, DAMN IT, I want to know about it before putting the final nail in the coffin. LMBO
ReplyDeleteYes, especially if you have been married before, cuz you sure dont know someone until you live with them......believe me !!!!!
ReplyDeleteI used to believe yes; however, now I think differently. Not to say that I won't change my mind.
ReplyDeleteMARRIAGE is Ok if your planing to have a Family...MARRIAGE is Ok in Old age if you don't want to Die Alone...MARRIAGE in between is over rated...
ReplyDeleteJust because you may live with her before doesn't mean you'll always know it all. Yeah you might be in a better position but then again you might not. Some people survive while a great portion live together for s long period & then when they get married it's doomed. I think overall people go into marriage for different ideals than the old timers did years ago
ReplyDeleteYES!!! You don't really know someone until you live with them!! Lol
ReplyDeleteNo. You might as well not marry then lo
ReplyDeleteI agree 1000 Percent...this man right here will not let anyone come out from left field after marriage...Hellllll Nooooooo !
ReplyDeleteTo each their own but I personally wouldn’t enter into marriage unless I first lived with that person. It’s one thing to see your significant other often, but a whole other ballgame to live with them. There are far too may divorces and it’s in your best interest to know if you can live with that person’s habits before making that kind of commitment. Take my situation into consideration… I moved in with my boyfriend 6 months ago as we had talked about a serious commitment. He has two young daughters that live with him fifty percent of the time. I needed to know that I could deal with partially raising someone else’s kids before I took the big plunge. Also, that I may not always be his top priority when his kids are involved. It’s the sort of life one would need to become accustomed to… an unselfish one. Yes my life has taken a 180 but I know in my heart that I’m here to stay. As of today, our life together has never been better; though, I’m not going to lie, the first month, “the adjustment period” wasn’t all hearts and roses… in fact it was very difficult. But we are back on track and know without a doubt that we are meant for one another. When the time comes we will be ready to make that commitment. ♥
ReplyDeleteABSOLUTELY!!!!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely!!! Live together first!!! U will never fully know someone, but a persons habits will definitely be reviled in due time! It is better to know for certain if those habits r something u can handle before u commit your life to someone and then decide you cannot cope! Furtheremore, when u live with someone n share d same space, their true colors come out! U will know if u have a partner for d long haul or someone who will depend on u to make it ALL happen!
ReplyDeleteI don't think people should live together before marriage. One of the saddest things about modern society is how people enter marriage always planning for the worst...Always planning for "What if we get divorced?" People have forgotten the importance of the commitment you make when you decide to get married, and yes, it is supposed to be difficult...Two lives are coming together and trying to become one...But that is the beauty of it. I think people need to take a step back and enjoy each phase of the relationship...I think living together before marriage is like "test-driving" a car that you can easily return to the dealer if you don't like it. That's not what marriage is about...People have becomed jaded, but it is still possible to have a successful relationship and marriage without living together first.
ReplyDeleteI partly agree with this. First off I think it is ridiculous how some people meet and the first week are already living together. I think marriage just like moving in should take time. One should know the other person( even though you never really know a person) before making such a decision. Not to sound archaic but I waited to get married before I moved out. I know I am biased and this was my personal choice, nonetheless some people really have to live together before getting married. I think that people try to rush into things, get them out of the way, do what is socially acceptable instead of what feels right. They meet, move in together get married (some) have babies all of this in less than 2 yrs....and then what? what is there look forward to? I dated my now husband for 2 yrs before we got married and moved in together, and let me tell you those two yrs were awesome. Theres nothing like not seeing each other for the one day and changing everything around just to be able to spend time with that person, theres nothing like looking forward to weekends or trips where you can spend nights together. That surprise of him picking you up with roses to go to dinner..(disney I know lol) and although I am happier now since we do live together and have a great relationship, this stage was also a special part of our lives. Ok so what Im trying to say is that people should enjoy each piece of the relationship slowly, passionately and happily...maybe not ever after but for the time being I am absolutely happy now and i hope to stay the same for the future all i know is that I can actually say I enjoyed every minute of it. Isn't that what life about? not simply having possession of someone but enjoying it!
ReplyDeleteMrs. M :)
I agree and disagree at the same time. There are those who should live together before they tie the knot. Maybe one has to work in another state and the other decides to move with them. Personally, if that weren't the case, I would rather not live with my boyfriend before we got married. To me, sharing a household is one of the joys that married life brings to a couple. I think people are scared of marriage nowadays - it's a "taboo" - because of the skyrocketing divorce rate of our time and the incredible amount of unhappy unions we see on a daily basis. I can't tell you how many times I've witnessed a couple move in together and never make that final step. "It's just paper," is what most say but marriage never used to be that way. Marriage is supposed to mean something, and moving in with your other half is part of it.
ReplyDeleteChoosing to live together may be a wise choice, but it should be approached in the same manner as a marriage would.
ReplyDeleteI agree that our generation has learned a lot from the mistakes of the past generations and although we no longer jump into marriage so quickly, we jump from relationship to relationship and have lost a lot of respect and morals along the way.
I believe not everything is meant to last forever and that paper created by society (Marriage was created for the granting of property rights, and the protection of bloodlines.)that binds you til death do you part; should not be the only reason we take something more seriously. Anytime we choose to share ourselves intimately with another, our souls connect and that contract goes beyond any law of the land.
No. The most important issues to understand about eachother do not require living together. People put to much emphasis on things which do not really define "happiness". Happiness comes from within your own self and love is a decision. Whether or not one person leaves the towel on the floor, or snores to loud, etc are very minimal in comparison to trust, raising children, communication and intimacy.
ReplyDelete