Friday, January 28, 2011

I had sex with my business partner's girlfriend

I had sex with my business partner's girlfriend

Dear Marcos,

I run a small IT business with my friend. We've been working together for a few years and have known each other since we were in college. I'm 28 and not been in a relationship for some time -- he's 29 and been dating this girl for two years.

But he treats her like crap. The last straw was a few nights ago when me and him were in a bar and he pulled some chick. The two of them left early but he forgot his phone. I took it with me to give to him at work the next day.

His girlfriend's a really nice girl. I've known her for a couple of years and she's hoping to marry my friend. He's promised her that he's going to take her on holiday to Florida next summer. She told me that she thinks he's going to propose there and she's very excited.

But how can she even date this guy, let alone marry him?

When I got back to my apartment I tried calling his house to tell him I had his phone, but he wasn't there. I sat around for a while thinking about it all, then decided I'd get his girlfriend's number from his phone and tell her everything that was going on.

She told me to come around and I arrived and told her everything. She started crying. I held her in my arms and she looked up at me and I kissed her. She kissed me back. It felt wonderful. One thing led to aother and before either of us knew it, we were in bed having the best sex of our lives.

she thanked me for telling her afterwards and I left to go home.

The problem is that she told her boyfriend -- my friend and business partner -- what happened! They've split up, but I don't want to lose my business, or my friend. What should I do?

Marcos Viñas Says…
Ok. This goes down as one of the most stupid things a friend can do.

Why, oh, why must friends go into business with each other? Can't you get enough of each other? Friends and business partners don't mix.

And why did you take it on yourself to interfere with you friend's love-life? Is it your business? No.

As far as having sex with his girlfriend is concerned I'd have to say that's pretty low. Keep it in your pants for goodness sake. You went over there to tell her that her boyfriend was a two-timing jerk and when she gets all upset you jump on her like an Olympic pole vaulter leaping onto a crash mat.

The telling thing is how you list the consequences of your actions. The first thing you don't want to lose is your business! Really, dude, I'd be more worried about my self respect. Then my friend's respect.

Some simple rules for you:

1. Don't meddle with things that are none of your concern.
2. If you must meddle, make sure you don't make things worse.
3. Don't have sex with your friend's girlfriend. Ever. Period.
4. Don't have sex with vulnerable women.
5. Think of other people before yourself sometimes.

You deserve what you're gonna get. It sounds like your friend is a jerk so you're both in good company. 

And it sounds like he's not too in love with this girl anyway, not that that's the point. Dude may well forgive you, but he's not going to trust you ever again.

And that's going to make business tricky.

All you can do is tell him you're sorry, that it was none of your business and you shouldn't have gotten involved. maybe telling him that you're a tool might help.

If you're still seeing the girlfriend, tell her to sort out her relationship with your friend. She has all the cards now and should play them as she sees fit. You may want to tell her that you're a tool as well.

Finally, go home and look at yourself in a mirror and tell yourself you're a tool.

Hopefully, things will work out well in a while's time. Good luck.

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