Friday, February 11, 2011

10 Ways to Know If Someone is Cheating on You

10 Ways to Know If Someone is Cheating on You

I often write about catching cheaters in general terms. The other day, someone emailed me and asked if I would pinpoint and write about the specific top ten ways to know if you're being cheated on or the top ten tips offs that your significant other is cheating.  I'll list these things in the following article.

1.  You Feel It In Your Gut: Very often, you get this nagging little feeling that something is wrong before you actually start to notice the ensuing behavior.  It's often an increased awareness that things aren't going as they normally do or that your partner is becoming more distant, critical, or evasive.

2. You Miss His Or Her Presence Because He's / She's Just Not There As Much: Often, I write about missing them metaphorically. Now, I'm talking about missing them physically.  Often when someone is cheating, they spend less and less time at home or together.  You're with them less. Whereas before they would ask you to tag along on errands or outings, this is the case less and less of the time.

3. His Or Her Excuses Are New Or Just Don't Make Sense: Often, the behavior changes and then the excuse comes. Examples are the person who only did the bare minimum at work is suddenly putting in a lot of overtime.  Or, the guy with the relatively new car begins having tons of car troubles. Or, the girl who wasn't particularly close to her family now needs to go and see her distant aunt.  Often, as they need to cover their tracks more and more, you'll begin to see a lot more of these out of left field excuses that don't mesh with their prior behavior.

4. Intimacy And Sex Changes: It's Either Much Less In Frequency, Or Much More Adventurous / Experimental Or Is Not Typical Behavior: There's the old stereotype that when someone cheats, they either stop having sex with the person at home, or they only go through the motions, but this isn't always the case.  Sometimes, sexual activity actually increases and you'll see that they want to try new things, almost as if they are trying to prove to themselves that they can get at home what they're seeking somewhere else. Often, sometimes the new things that they're doing with their partner in cheating will broaden their horizons, so to speak.
5.  They're More Critical Or Vocal: You may notice that the little things that they used to really like about you now bothers them.  Did they used to love your low key attitude? Now, they'll wonder why your not ambitious enough.  Did they used to love your sense of humor but now find it corny? Did they used to love that you couldn't get enough of them but now find you possessive?  All of these changes are tip offs that they're changing their attitude and perception about you, likely because they need to justify the cheating to themselves.

6.  They're Suddenly Talking A lot About Their New Coworker, Friend, Or Class Mate: Often, the temptation to talk about their cheat mate is just far too great to ignore. They'll often slip and recount a funny thing or observation that so and so made.  Hearing this new name once doesn't usually ring alarms bells, but any more than that and you should take notice.

7. They're Secretive About Their Cell Phone And Computer: Whereas before they didn't mind you using their electronics before, now they keep them in close range.  This is because they're wondering if they remembered to delete the texts and emails.  Speaking of these things....

8. Deleted Internet History / Phone Texts, And Emails: Technology almost always leaves a cheater trail and most people know this.  So, if you go into your Internet history and see alot of deletions or if you see that they've cleared their cookies / cache or have deleted emails, there is little doubt that there's a reason why.  They will also often delete their cell phone in box or call log, but you can actually retrieve these.

9. They Fumble Around Or Become Uncomfortable When You Get In Their Car: Almost always, the person that they've been cheating with has been in their car. So, as soon as you get in it, they're going to become uncomfortable and wonder if there are any clues that they've missed that the other person has left behind.  You can see this discomfort written all over their face.

10.  Their Body Language Creates Distance: Often cheaters begin to give off new body language clues. Whereas they used to present with an open body and stance before, they'll now cross their arms, stand further back, and tighten their lips and eyes. All of these things are subconsciously keeping you at a safe distance.
Unfortunately, I missed a lot of these signs. My heart knew that he was cheating, but my head didn't want to acknowledge it. But after thinking on it for a long time, I decided that I really wanted to know the truth, no matter what that truth was. I learned how to get concrete information and proof that my husband thought that he had hid and erased. Once I presented this to him, he had no choice but to come clean.

No comments:

Post a Comment