Wednesday, December 1, 2010


The Big Fish Analogy 

Vince Santaella- Contributor

Mainly young guys have had the balls to talk to the girl, get her number, and maybe even hang out with her a few times. Things seem to be going perfect, but then, out of the blue, the girls break it off for one reason or another. 

I feel, that most of the guys out there actually want a meaningful relationship... up until the point they get burned over and over again, where they become bitter towards the opposite sex. The problem is, it's not the girls fault. It the guys fault for not knowing how to act to keep her interested. 

So how does one keep the initial attraction going, keep her wanting more, and chase after you? 

Creating attraction in a woman and keeping her interest is like hooking a big fish. You don't just try and reel it in as fast as you can. The fish is too strong and too powerful. Your line or rod will end up breaking before you even get it half way to the boat. The proper way to catch the big fish is to wear it down. You reel it in a little, and then let it back out, over and over again. Each time, reeling it in a little more than letting it out, until it is flopping around next to you in the boat. 

Most guys have the mindset that they have to constantly be in contact with a girl to keep her interested. That is, if she's not talking to you, then she isn't thinking about you and will be swept up by the next guy that hits on her. In reality, this has the exact opposite effect on women. Constant, extended contact will make you look needy/clingy and drive her away. The fishing line will snap. 

It seems counter intuitive, unless you understand how attraction really works. Attraction for men is first physical, then emotional. Whereas, attraction for women is first emotional, then physical. You must invoke an emotional response and have her associate that emotion with you. ANY emotion, whether it be good or bad. Hopefully the majority will be good emotion, but there is also a place for negative emotion, which I will get to later. If you can invoke emotion, then you will stay on her mind for days or weeks on end w/out even talking to her. She is on the fishing line waiting for you to reel her in more.

When it comes to women, LESS at the right time is MORE.

Thanks for reading,

Vince Santaella


  1. I beg to differ with you on this observation. I agree to a point with some of what you say... Whereas women most certainly do not like or want a guy who comes on too strong we definitely want to know you're "into us". There's a difference though with showing genuine interest in a woman and being "needy and clingy" for fear you will lose the woman.

    Trust me, if a woman is into you and you show interest she will not lose interest... What you are saying is that men should play games which in turn make a woman exactly what YOU DON'T WANT and often COMPLAIN about; a woman who is insecure and thus questions you and may becomes jealous of every moment spent apart.

    In my opinion; value her, be honest with her, let her know she turns you on- Just don't become needy, clingy or jealous and MOST IMPORTANTLY don't be insecure.

  2. Vicente R. SantaellaDecember 2, 2010 at 4:19 AM

    That is touched on in a later lesson. In no way does this preface imply that a man is going to ignore the woman nor show dis-interest. Just the opposite; the man needs to show enough interest if not the "big fish" is going to take the bait and leave.

    No where does it imply that the man is to play games; it simply states to keep your cool and don't over react to a hint of intimacy.