Monday, November 8, 2010

How Important Is Religion in a Relationship?

How Important Is Religion in a Relationship? 

Whilly Bermudez - Host / Commentator 
There is a universal attraction within the human race to build relationships. The human heart is drawn to fall in love--a quality placed within our soul by God. But how easy is it to choose who we love? Do we base who we fall in love with on all the details or do we just fall? What if their religious beliefs are completely different than ours?

I am a Christian. I can’t say that I’ve ever dated a gal of a different religion. At least not one that would make for heated debates or significant disconnects such as a Muslim or Jehovah Witness or something like that. I believe that we all understand how sensitive the topic of religion really is. We’ve also heard about it being the determining factor for failure or success in a relationship.

Religion is more than a way of life. It spills over into politics, sex, and faith. Religion comes with its own set of rules, opinions, ideals, and traditions. I’m pretty certain that love cannot conquer all in cases like these. It would require an immeasurable amount of tolerance and compromise. Someone in the relationship will have to give in most of the time. Someone will probably have to agree to raise the children within the others religion instead of their own. Perhaps even convert over to the other person’s religion. This is further complicated when you bring the in laws and each others extended families and friends into the equation.

Yes, dealing with in laws is hardly ever a picnic, so imagine when initially they will not approve because of the difference in religion. The influence of one’s parents will have positive or negative effects on the relationship that can strain things and create tension. Only two really committed people that are absolutely willing to exercise compromise can weather this type of storm.

Can a Christian and a Muslim be engaged in a relationship that works? How about a Muslim with someone that is Jewish? Or either of the two with a Christian or someone that is Hindu? Seems pretty impossible to me… You may have to get used to certain customs, such as removing shoes, special diets and celebrating religious holidays.

A relationship already comes with many obstacles to overcome without differences of religion.The divorce rate in our country is over 50% and that doesn’t even account for the amount of them that may be for religious differences. Getting two people to really understand and trust each other is what each of us hopes for in our lives. This is easy to write about but we all know just how difficult it is. Think about how many relationships you have been in that you wanted to work but didn’t. Now, imagine if the religion component would have been there as well…  It would probably have lasted a lot less than it did.

The only foreseeable roadmap to a happy long-lasting relationship, regardless of religious beliefs, is effort that is based on real unselfish love and compromise. Time and again most of us show just how difficult that really is through our many break ups and lack of patience. I cannot envision myself trying to engage in a relationship with someone of another religion.

My verdict is in and I say that Religion is a Deal Breaker in any relationship. A relationship is difficult enough without the extra strain.

A difference in religion can make for more War than Love.    What do you think?

Thanks for reading,


Miss La Rosa - Host / Commentator

My Dear and beloved Whilly, I would like to say that I have to agree with some points mentioned here and also disagree. I will start by saying that I was also raised as Christian and it was very clearly instilled in me that God “is” love. Love? There is the key word. Love means different things to different people. This all depends on how we are individually structured.  

In my opinion love is the base of every relationship. Love starts from loving ourselves and all living things on this earth. This beautiful, majestic place created by God. We are all students here to learn from each other. Now that we love ourselves and every living thing on earth, we are ready to love one another and treat one another the way we like to be treated. 

As far as forming a spousal relationship, I believe both individuals have to be in the same dimension and evaluational mind frame to be able to understand the possibilities. Raising children to know and understand different religions and cultures will only open their minds to understand that although we may not look or believe the same, we are all human beings and here for the same ultimate purpose. One individual does not have to think like the other for it to be LOVE.

My Verdict  is that if the base of the relationship is in fact true love and both individuals are at the same mental level, then with GOD and LOVE all things are possible :)  

Miss La Rosa


  1. Whilly, It truly can be a monumental hurdle.

    As you stated religion, faith, belief or way can and will affect a relationship on multiple levels.

    There must be a compromise and a great deal of respect for the other persons beliefs.

    However considering I was married to a man whom I didnt share the same views with politically or religious....I can say that through communication we found some common ground. And the relationship flourished beautifully.

    It isnt a conversation that can be resolved in one sit down since as you mentioned religion intertwines with a great many facets of our lives. However it is something that can become a deal breaker if all areas arent covered. That being said if compromise isnt reached in this area.....both parties should amicably part...sooner than later.

    Great post!!!

    xoxo, Joey

  2. Sorry, but I totally Disagree with Whilly. I was raised Catholic and then converted to Christianity when I was a teenager so I can totally see where you're coming from which is one of the reasons why I no longer go to Church. True LOVE is supposed to be unconditional and understanding but unfortunately that is something that most (even though they won't say it out loud) religions do not believe in or practice very well. It is always "we or I will love you but you must believe what I believe in" And my question is, Why are you so sure your religion is the right one? your God is the "real" one? Your Faith is better than all others? You will never fall in love or love me because of what I believe in? That does not true love make.
    Shouldn't we all Love one other? what gives us the right to "chose" who we love? what makes us think that certain people in our world do not deserve the love we have to give because of what they believe in? Sounds Unchristian to me. Doesn't it say in the bible to love one another? maybe I'm wrong but I don't remember it saying love one another unless they are Muslim or Jewish. "John 13:34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another." I'm not a fan of the bible but I have made that conclusion after reading pretty much all of it. But if you are going to say you are a "Christian" then practice what you preach. I have nothing but respect for all religions and have met wonderful people because of it that I couldn't see my life without them in it. I am very open to what they believe in and never have a problem listening to their faith as long as we can all respect one another I don't see why not.
    No I totally understand where you're coming from when you say that "I’m pretty certain that love cannot conquer all in cases like these" because your Faith your belief has taught you to think that way or that's what you've always know, whatever it is....I respect it. To me real LOVE conquers all! LOVE is "an immeasurable amount of tolerance and compromise"! There is no such thing as I love you but....Then you really never truly loved. Is it hard to be opened this way? for me Sometimes YES. I feel like the world toady has become so black and white and we as humans want our way or the highway And as much as I would love to say it has been so easy for me to practice what I preach, I would be lying. It is hard, very hard but....It is totally worth it because love is not easy but so rewarding that makes it worth the battle.
    My husband and I had and still have different beliefs about different things since we met but we have been open minded since day one. If I was strong about something I believed in I would explain to him what I though he would listen and we would later have a discussion on it. And if he disagreed then he would say to me "why don't we read about what you believe in and what I believe in and see if we can find a happy medium but if we can't that fine I totally respect it." This has gone for many years and to this day we still have discussions about it and find out new and wonderful things about life/love/faith that we would of never if we were hardheaded about it. And now that our daughter is growing up we know that one day she will ask us about religion and we will tell her how we feel, what we think, and what we have experience in the subject and let HER make her own decision when she is ready to make one. Who are we to tell her what to believe in? Why do we need to tell her as a child "This is what it is, this is what you SHOULD believe in, and everything else is wrong and don't even bother"? What if WE were totally wrong all along?

    *part two coming up....

  3. To say is that "The divorce rate in our country is over 50% and that doesn’t even account for religious differences" to me is very bias. I can totally say you're wrong by telling you that research has shown "Divorce rates among conservative Christians were significantly higher than for other faith groups, and much higher than Atheists and Agnostics experience" "While it may be alarming to discover that born again Christians are more likely than others to experience a divorce, that pattern has been in place for quite some time. Even more disturbing, perhaps, is that when those individuals experience a divorce many of them feel their community of faith provides rejection rather than support and healing. But the research also raises questions regarding the effectiveness of how churches minister to families. The ultimate responsibility for a marriage belongs to the husband and wife, but the high incidence of divorce within the Christian community challenges the idea that churches provide truly practical and life-changing support for marriages." All i know is that no where did it say religious differences was ever a big factor in divorces in the United States. I think this is true because I truly believe that people like my husband and I that have different beliefs knew from the beginning what we were getting ourselves into and because of that it was never an issue. When it comes to marriage people should focus on the husband and wife and children's happiness, education,shelter, respect and well being if they have any instead of who's "GOD" is better.
    To tell you that over the last 10 years my husband and I have never had any troublesome issues that might lead to divorce, I would be completely lying. But the reason why we have been able to work things out and gotten stronger over the years is because we never focused on what a book was telling us how to live our lives. Instead we focus on our faults and how to make one another happy. To me, that is TRUE LOVE.
    P.S. don't even get me started on on "Religion is more than a way of life. It spills over into politics, sex, and faith."
    1. Can't stand the fact that Politics have anything to do with one another for oh so many reasons. i.e. Gay Rights. Enough said
    2. everyones Faith should be respected and Christian should respect the fact that even though they have an enormous amount of believers currently they are the youngest religion ever! So maybe, just maybe they could be right or they could be wrong but one thing they need to work on better is respect other faiths, you know since they have been here before you. You know how they always say: "respect your elders" well that should go for religion too. Not saying to believe in it, just respect it.
    3. sex: really? sex? Religion is more than a way of life. It spills over into sex????????? All I have to say about that is: Don't sign me up! LOL

    Hope you can take my opinions very open mindfully like I have yours.
    thank you,

  4. There is only ONE God. And as Christians, you should know that. So of course, religion affects relationships. And God will work in your life to help you and your mate's relationship if you live by faith. So even if the other does not belief in the Creator of the universe, eventually that spouse will be saved and born again. We have to live by faith and obedience and God's mercy and grace will lead you and guide you...but only if you believe that He sent Jesus Christ to die on that cross for you. Our lives here on earth is very short compared to eternity. And it's what you do here that determines where you are going. It is sad to see that people can look around this beautiful world that we live in and see that the universe is great and perfect, and they still don't believe that there was a creator. Our only purpose here is to worship God and save others to His kingdom. If you live like that, God will direct your steps and bless you with an abundance of love, joy, peaoe and happiness with the person He has destined you to be with.

  5. Religion is a bond of our soul into jesus heavens above love is a soul that no one can take away from you when we born if you put or exist that in a real world theres a many meaning of religion and love......... the point is if you mixed the religion and love into a relationship theres a termendous pain but in the end happiness..... if the love you feel is genuine it means thats a center of god that you never wish thats the religions enter becoz if you dont loose or if you wish to happen you pray and you faith thats why religion is important in many reason and the power of love is grows becoz of many reasons thats why religion and love is bond in a relationship simple if you love each other no matter what is your religion if the power of love is intact to each other you can combine no matter what faith you have to each other love is superior and your soul is same and the religion guides you how the relationship grows

  6. Cutie Willy! Ill take you in any religion!

  7. I am divorced... born Catholic. big on GOD- not religion. I respect all- practice none. For me it's always been about my relationship with God not my religion. My faith and my love for him is expressed in my my actions- my person- my being. The way I live my life and the respect, kindness and love I feel for others.
    While there is one God- whether it's a bald chubby guy- a ray of light- Jesus Christ- Allah- Jehovah- Yahweh- Orula- etc. etc... There is one thing I know for certain... Couples that pray and play together- have better odds. Life has no guarantees, and while we are all wired differently- it's all connected. Morals, Values, the root of it all- it's our foundation. If 1 is missing there is a crack and eventually it will break your relationship. Not because I say so- it's just the way it is. Think about it. ;)

    xoxo Aidan's Mom

  8. Religion like many other topics in a relationship are to be "discussed" but not to be "applied". Amongst these topics what is even more important is to have a sense of maturity in the relationship where acceptance of religious belief or disbelief can be dealt with permanently. At many times we let our beliefs or disbeliefs interact with our ego thus making it impossible for our relationships to flourish and to prosper. It is after we have accepted our partners as they are and as we know them from the start that we are able to openheartedly accept our ideals of love in the relationship.
    Religion like other characteristics in a relationship should not be the dealbraker nor the motivation to dissipate what could be perhaps the most rewarding of our human interactions. If spoken of directly and tolerated in the most humane form; it could perhaps help us to understand the underlying basis of all of our human interactions which is to live in a peaceful environment with the ones we love. After all; isn't that the message that all religions have?
    Rice Vandammage

  9. For so many years...I did things on my own strength and in my own wisdom. It wasn't until I prayed to God..."God, I am tired of all these failed relationships in my life, if it's meant for me to be alone then please take away the desire I have in me to have a husband to share my life with". God answered on Valentine's Day just a mere 3 months later with the man who would later be my husband. He wasn't exactly what I had in mind and I struggled with the idea of him being "thee one" but God made is so clear and I realized then that until I left things in his hands...I would have continued on a path of disappointment in the realm of love.