How important is maintaining your true identity in a relationship?
Miss La Rosa - Host / Commentator
Many times when shopping at the supermarket or perhaps at the mall, I see a couple together. Truth of the matter is the gentleman has a face like he's bored and was obligated at gun point to be there against his will. I say Free him! I've also seen this when a girl swears she loves football just to hang out with her partner and suddenly she pulls out a nail file and starts filing her nails in the middle of a touchdown. How many times do we go on a date and the first topic of discussion is what we expect from our future significant partner? This makes it easy for the person listening to those rules and regulations to just “PLAY THE ROLE.”
Playing the role to please another is not only living behind a mask but also making ourselves uncomfortable just to please another human being’s expectations. I have seen couples living like this for many years. In front of their wife or husband they are playing the role expected and behind their partner’s back, they can finally breathe and be themselves. Question is who are we in love with? Jekyll or Hyde?
In my opinion, one of the most important aspects of a relationship is maintaining our true identity. Identity can be easily lost because when we have a partner. We feel we must change many aspects of our life because “now we are in a relationship” OR my boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't like that. Then years pass us by and reality hits. The role player realizes he/she has never been happy and the other feels he/she was a victim of a masquerade party.
I believe that loving someone is setting their soul free to be who they truly are. As partners, we should encourage one another to reach the highest of our possible potential without limiting or interfering with our true selves. We should not become the obstacle but more the stepping stone of our partner’s ultimate purpose.
After any breakup it is highly recommended that we take some time off to be able to know ourselves again and know where we stand. It is well known that at this time we are in a vulnerable stage and anything seems better than what we just had. If we don't know who we truly are, we won't know what we're truly looking for.
Love, trust and friendship are the greatest foundation for all relationships. How can we obtain that if we think that relationships require us to play a certain “role.” My father always said “Be true to Yourself.”
I close with this one of my favorite quotes:
“I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not.” Kurt Cobain
What do you think?
Thank you for reading,
Miss La Rosa
AFTER THOUGHT'S BY
AFTER THOUGHT'S BY
Whilly Bermudez - Host / Commentator
Miss La Rosa,
This was a good and interesting post. I do believe that people should just be who they are… always. Unfortunately, the times we are living in have produced many character flaws in people. Just “being you” doesn’t actually mean it is a good thing for the other person. This is why the other person deserves a fair opportunity to see or recognize what the person in question is all about, what they stand for.
I do agree that people bring their ‘representative’ and not their true self to the party. Actually, let’s be real about this. I think all of us are on our best behavior at first, and then the pressure of our true selves starts to come to the surface. As soon as we realize that someone is not for us, we really should let them know and end the progression. It is only fair. Lastly, everyone needs to be comfortable in their own skin and not become unhappy being someone different for the sake of another.