Pages

*OUR GREATEST HITS*

Friday, November 19, 2010

HOW SHOULD WE BRAKE UP WITH YOU?


HOW SHOULD WE BRAKE UP WITH

 YOU?





Marcos V - Host / Commentator 

Before I began my rant, I would like to express something. The Articles in this blog are opinion based and in no way shape or form am I an expert (that’s actually pretty clear). My articles are based on 'experience' and 'conversations' I’ve had throughout my adult life. Are my topics sensationalized like one reader suggested? Absolutely, what isn’t in Miami?

I ask this question to women only because it’s from my perspective as a man but I imagine it could go either way (men/women). What is the best way us men could break up with you? Is there even a right way or correct way?

I’ve always heard from my female friends, that they are disappointed in the manner which the person they were dating ended things. I always think back to my experience in relationships which says “when it’s good it’s good but when it’s bad it’s bad”. Unhappy people that aren’t acting right usually don’t exercise a “nice” or doing this they way they should.

I was recently asked by a buddy of mine how he should go about it ending this current rendezvous. I told him that there were many factors that play into it and really no two situations are alike, but I gave him a rough draft. IT WENT BADLY FOR HIM! I thought, SH*t, I screwed up by offering advice on breaking up and I knew that there isn’t a generic way and hell, there may be no right way! I know how personal and tough the break up process is, but I have often wondered what the most effective way to do such an emotionally charged and personal thing REALLY IS. I mean don’t get me wrong I know what the mature way is (being honest) and I don’t mean the text book way, but I meant more of the behind the scenes stuff.  

My experience has been, when I'm the one doing the breaking up, it never goes smoothly, and this is expected. But I wanted to get an idea of what women thought. And I know I’m being vague because there is so much involved, but I wanted to hear some dialogue so get your thoughts in order... 

TAKING IT BACK

When I was younger I admit to not doing things the right way and my immature mentality + lack of experience guided me to HORRIBLE BREAK UPS. I used to take the easy way out and act like a jerk. Obviously this is not cool, you have to look out for the other person’s feelings but you learn from it and grow as a person. As an adult I have done what I felt in my heart was right. HONESTY I assure you is the best policy. At the end of the day if you’re honest and express how you really feel even if you’re expressing things to that may hurt that person they will eventually thank you for it in the long run.  I could go on listing a bunch of possible scenarios but what I really wanted was the women’s perspective.  As they say all is fair in LOVE and WAR. ; )


There are no magic words to break up with somebody, just need a lot of civility.                            Thanks for reading.

Marcos V.











Rosie Q - Host / Commentator 



Marcos,

This topic could not come at a better time. For some reason 2010 seems to be the year for break ups. I've been approached by both men and women for advise on this topic as if I were an expert. I could say that I have had done the most breaking up rather than being broken up with. No matter what I am not an expert, it’s never easy and it really stinks to be on either side (breakupee or breakupor). Regardless if one does not see a future with the person they are with, no matter how you feel at that point in time it is an honorable action to make a decision and put an end on a relationship that in the long run is not going to work.

Sometimes the only advise I give when regarding to break ups is to use the "Band-Aid theory". This theory is just as your parents told you when you were a child. Do you remember how painful it was to remove a Band-Aid from a fresh wound? Well I am sure they advised you to pull it off as quickly as possible and not to think about it too much, because if you did you would not remove it. Well the same goes with breakups, do it quick and make an even quicker exit strategy. The more you hang around and beat around the bush the harder it will be for both parties.  

Hang in there friends,

Rosie Q

11 comments:

  1. Be honest, sincere and choose your words wisely. Don't say thins out of hurt or anger.

    ReplyDelete
  2. depends on the circumstances, but we're getting older so lets always try to keep our class and maturity. I do not believe in friends between ex's so when I broke it off with my ex fiance, simply wished him well, many blessings to you, please don't ever call me or look for me, changed my #, moved to another place and that was that :o)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes ... walk away quietly

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anytime you end a relationship it can be uncomfortable and a little tricky. Especially if the other party is obsessive or abusive. In a normal situation, I think two adults can end a relationship in a peaceful way :) If that doesn't work, I agree with Vanessa. Change ur number, name, move away or perhaps undergo plastic surgery to change ur appearance LOL :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. This ties in to other post last week about Lying , tell them the truth it will hurt the other person, but at least they know you were honest about it and they will respect that

    ReplyDelete
  6. No, because no mater how hard you try the other persons EGO gets Hurt...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yes. End on good terms, complete honesty and pray that you both go with god find happiness. It will come to you both.

    ReplyDelete
  8. It completely depends on who you're breaking up with.
    I've noticed that if a girl just isn't happy with a guy (for whatever reason) and she breaks up with him, there's not always a lot of drama from the guy. I mean, you do have your freaks and whacko's that can't handle being dumped, but generally if a girl breaks up with a guy, life goes on.
    But if a guy isn't happy with his girl and wants to break up, then he's pegged as 'not a real man' or 'he's afraid of commitment', or 'he just wants to run the streets' or 'he's not ready for a real woman'.
    Why does there have to be a double standard?
    If a girl isn't satisfied, then she's free to leave and not be spoken bad about. But if a guy isn't satisfied, he's a son-of-a-bitch for ruining her dreams.
    That shit aint right.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The honest way, short and simple..

    ReplyDelete
  10. No matter how painful, the truth is always the way to go. Telling them what they want to hear only makes the move on harder for them in the end. Like Herman said, just be honest. Rational also makes things smoother. Ending things in a fight causes hurtful things to be said and that is never good for either party. TRUTH< TRUTH< TRUTH!!!!

    ReplyDelete